Still trying to get over my first boyfriend 7 months later

[Free2be89]

I had what I consider to be my first "real" relationship at the beginning of this year. I am 28, but I didn't date really in high school or all throughout college. We met online and things moved very quickly. He completely love bombed me in the beginning, texting me all the time and telling me I was the best woman he had ever met. We had a lot in common, and our sexual chemistry was off the charts. We became official at his request, but after about a month things changed and began to deteriorate. He revealed his true self as selfish, lazy, and very dismissive. I foolishly stayed with him because I thought he might have been stressed from his new job, and that if I was patient with him, things would eventually get better. My ex and I only dated for about 4 months before he called it off. He told everyone it was mutual, however I felt that I had actually been desperately trying to keep us together. After I did some deep refection on the relationship, I realized that he had many narcissistic tendencies, and that there was a good chance that our relationship had always been about him and his ego.

 

After the breakup, I unfriended him on facebook and we did not continue to communicate. However, I could not bring myself to remove him from following my other social media accounts, and could not help myself from checking up on him periodically. It did not help that he would watch my posted stories and occasionally like my posts, giving me a slight satisfaction that he might regret his decision at least a little bit. Month after month went by this way, and even though we were not longer together, he had remained a constant part of my routine. I had even begun to see other people, but still though of him more than I should and compared his few "good" qualities to new guys I would meet.

 

As of last week he has started seeing someone new, and it has sort of sent me on another spiral. I realize I need to cut him off completely at this point. I don't want to get back with him because in hindsight he never respected me, or treated me the way you should treat someone you care about. I will never let someone treat me that way again, and this mishap of a relationship made me stronger. I feel bad for the new girl because I know she will go through all of the same things I did, however I am still struggling. At times I feel like I'm going a little crazy. Is this all because he was my first; Because I didn't cut him off when I should have? Does this ever get better?

[d0nnivain]

It does get better. Yes, you need to block him. You really don't need a front row seat to his new relationship. Stop torturing yourself.

 

 

Yes, it hurts "worse" because it was your first. All break ups hurt but you have never experienced this before

 

 

Surround yourself with positive people. If you haven't boxed up all the relationship stuff do that.

 

 

Have you tried dating anybody else?

[Free2be89]

It does get better. Yes, you need to block him. You really don't need a front row seat to his new relationship. Stop torturing yourself.

 

 

Yes, it hurts "worse" because it was your first. All break ups hurt but you have never experienced this before

 

 

Surround yourself with positive people. If you haven't boxed up all the relationship stuff do that.

 

 

Have you tried dating anybody else?

 

 

Yes, it took awhile before I was even interested in anyone else (about 5 months) but I've recently started dating again within the last couple of months. I met a really nice guy that I saw casually for about a month, but we realized we wanted different things relationship wise and agreed to see other people. I'm currently talking to another guy that I am actually going to meet up with for the first time this weekend.

 

I have blocked my ex because I know that nothing good can come out of seeing anything that goes on his life. I still get little pangs in my stomach when I think of him with someone else even though I'd never want to be with him again. It's a very strange contradictory emotion that I haven't figured out how to deal with it yet:( I hope the lack of social media contact will help.