Should I ask my ex to catch up? (She's in a LDR, but something about it seems off)

[ConfusedWC]

I broke up with my ex last October. We'd been dating for 5.5 months after knowing each other on social media for seven years. I had a huge crush on her for years, and she seemed to always like me too, but we never lived in the same city until last year. Our time together was mostly great, and I had already started sort of plotting out I would propose to her if we were still dating by that next summer.

 

Unfortunately, I became distant for a number of reasons and our relationship quickly deteriorated over about three weeks. I was under a lot of stress with a new job, and I felt she was becoming a distraction, stressing me over the relationship, so I broke up with her. A month later I unfollowed her on all social media, because I needed a clean break. I would occasionally check up on her, and would often find posts taking shots at me months after the break up.

 

One of her posts really struck a nerve and made me think I was terrible in our relationship. I ended up going through all our texts from the last 2.5 months of our relationship, and it quickly made me realize our relationship was not only suffering because work, but all my friends and family who've told me I have a bad sports gambling problem for years were right, and not coincidentally things turned sour when sports started ramping up again in September, where I don't do a ton of gambling May through August.

 

I went to counseling and got help. I haven't gambled since April. I also realized after a couple months of dating someone else, and seeing other people, I was very in love with her still. I went to her Twitter and clicked like on one of her tweets to see if she would block me, because she blocked me on Facebook randomly (I think to get a rise out of me so I would contact her) after I unfollowed her on all social media.

 

She didn't. But a few days later when I went to follow her on Instagram, she posted a collage of pics of her with her new boyfriend, wishing him Happy Birthday. And then posted two more posts with him that week. I found it really strange, because there were zero signs of a boyfriend leading up to that first post, where when we were dating she would often tweet subliminally about how happy I made her, how thoughtful I was, and how she'd been waiting her whole life for someone like me. I didn't know if it was coincidence or partly to make me jealous.

 

I fell back and almost immediately started seeing another girl who is gone half the month for work. I'm not that into her, but I'm feeling pressure from her to move onto the next phase, but my feelings are still too strong for my ex.

 

I noticed she didn't post pics with the boyfriend after that first week when I liked her tweet. And the rest of the summer, many of her pics she posted on IG suggested she was single. I wouldn't have even known he was still around if he wouldn't comment on the pics, sometimes seeming a bit insecure on the ones where she seems single. Doing a little research, it also seemed like they were Facebook official after only meeting each other maybe three times over a month. He has her in all his profile pics, and she has him in none. When he comments he loves her in IG comments, she never reciprocates, even when she responds. And she also is apparently his first girlfriend ever when he's in his mid-twenties. Something just seems off with her to me. Like she likes him, but not as much as she wishes she did.

 

Because of that, I decided to follow her on Twitter. She followed me back within a few hours. The next day we DM'd a little bit. She seemed happy to hear from me, but she also seemed guarded. However, she did not bring up she has a boyfriend. Since I followed her 4.5 weeks ago, she has interacted with me the most of any of her followers, and I'm one of very few she inititiates any convos with or responds to. And she is occasionally flirty. (I'm also pretty certain she keeps her Twitter secret from her boyfriend. He has her in his profile pic, yet they do not follow each other. And this summer, she has only followed three people. Me, and two other pretty good looking guys.)

 

Her boyfriend is actually a little younger than her and he's still in college. He goes to school six hours away. I'm surprised she got into this kind of relationship, because every time I was gone for just the night she went crazy and would text me all night how bad she needed me. And he still has over a year left.

 

He's only been gone for school a week and a half, and I already know they've been in some kind of fight, because I had hoped they broke up because she unfollowed him on Instagram for a while. I decided to text her Sunday and we chatted it up a bit, and she was really engaging, asking me questions and being playful.

 

Would it be out of line to ask her if she wants to meet up and catch up soon? Or should I come out and tell her how I'm feeling and the changes I've made? Part of me feels scummy because she has a boyfriend. But the way I know her, I can't help but see she doesn't look as fully committed as he might think she is. Or the fact they've already been in one fight do I need to just let it play out?

[Blanco]

You're right. It would be scummy.

[dumbass2]

You're right. It would be scummy.

 

Agree with this