jack130 Posted August 13, 2005 Share Posted August 13, 2005 How do you deal with a mother that throws self pitty parties over every little thing? My mom does this all the time and I don’t know what to do about it, it’s getting old. Every time her and my dad gets into an argument, she’ll just sit at her computer all day long, won’t talk, she won’t eat anything at all. She also removes all her jewelry and starts talking about how they mean nothing, wants to sell them and then makes subtle comments such as “My computer is up for sale.. I don’t care” and other stuff. She babysits my nieces during the week and about a month ago she made plans to go on a trip, well naturally my brother and his wife had to find out who could watch the kids those two days as both works and neither could take off. Well I guess my sister-in-law was telling my dad about how her parents had to take 2 days non-paid leave to watch them because my mom is going on a trip. So my dad tells my mom this and now once again she’s sitting there pouting, saying she has no life and that her life revolves around everyone elses and then says “I guess I’ll tell them I’m not going”. She lets people control her mind and her life. She has very thin skin and lets the littlest thing get to her and then she sits around and cries over it for days at a time. I guess being a man, naturally I don’t get it. I mean I have very thick skin, I live my life for myself and don’t let people control my life or my mind and I told her she needs to do this and talk to them. But, my mom doesn’t listen. She would rather sits around for days at a time, cry over it, not eat, and such. Last time her and my dad got into a small argument she sat around for days crying over it and then came to me and was like “I don’t want you to say anything to anyone, but on Thursday I am going to rent a room at Holiday Inn’s for 3 days and just get away with it”. Basically she wanted me to say nothing of this, in fact she wanted me to act as if I knew nothing about it and as if I had no idea where she was at. To me it just seems as if she does this crap for attention, to make people feel bad for her. I don’t want to be mean about it, but I mean she LETS these people do this crap to her and then she cries about it for days at a time and throws these “pitty me” parties. How do I deal with this? Link to post Share on other sites
Jayhawks Posted August 13, 2005 Share Posted August 13, 2005 To me it just seems as if she does this crap for attention, to make people feel bad for her This is exactly why she does this, Jack. She wants you to feel sorry for her and she likes the drama. I would just go about your business when she gets like this and after awhile she will get tired of it and behave. By the way, when she said she was going to check into a hotel for 3 days you should have said " have a good time, Mom". Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted August 13, 2005 Share Posted August 13, 2005 you might also want to alert her doctor about suspected signs of depression. The crying jags can be symptomatic of depression, which could be symptomatic of serious health problems. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted August 13, 2005 Share Posted August 13, 2005 She needs professional help. She is probably depressed. Make her go to a therapist about it. I also have problems with my mom and she suffers from a high blood pressure. A few doctors have told her she needs a shrink and she ignores them, denies her mental state and thinks they don't know sh*t. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted August 14, 2005 Share Posted August 14, 2005 encourage her every chance you get RP -- I think some folks have it in their head that to need psychiatric help and/or medication like anti-depressants means they're crazy. it's not so. My husband has had a screwed up back for nearly 30 years now, and only in the past 10 years has it gotten to the point where he's taking some heavy duty meds like methodone and morphine to control the pain. At one point he was going into a serious funk but really couldn't see it, so I'd mentioned it to his doctor. The guy told him that there are two kinds of depression, one that a person has had all along that is a result of a chemical imbalance, the other when someone's body is pretty much stressed out from trying to heal. There are many people who need to get their blood chemistry back up to the necessary levels, but don't quite understand the need to do so or how that imbalance affects them. I'll try to find the link another Shacker posted here a long, long time ago that did a good job of describing what your blood chemistry is responsible for, how that delicate balance can be thrown off and why happens when it is thrown off. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted August 14, 2005 Share Posted August 14, 2005 found it: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/articles/article.php?artID=160 it's a really easy-to-read article that's well written, I though ... Link to post Share on other sites
Jayhawks Posted August 14, 2005 Share Posted August 14, 2005 Thanks, Quankanne. That is fascinating reading. Link to post Share on other sites
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