I was the other woman and I had no idea :(

[xorose]

Hi everyone! I'm new to this site.

 

I met this guy through Instagram about two years ago. I was in a relationship at the time so at the time he was just another follower I paid no attention to. Things started to get rough with my bf. We broke up and got back together I couldn't trust him and we just didn't click. I tried to make it worth but later on I ended up ending things with him for good. So anyways I finally started to message these "prospects" back. He started liking my photos more and more and messaging me and from there he messaged me on Snapchat then we exchanged numbers and we really hit it off. He lives in another state but he is from the town I live on so he came to visit often. After I broke up with my ex we finally spent time together. We would talk on FaceTime until 5AM and sometimes later every day.

 

About a month ago I started getting this weird feeling that something was off. His family lives here too. He was here for about a week and we spent plenty of time together and then he drove back home 10 hours away. He FaceTimed me while he was driving back. But later that night he posts this girl on his Instagram giving her a b-day shoutout and called her "bae" which he usually calls me either that or baby. And he posted a picture of her so I questioned him about it. He denied that he had a gf and said she was just a friend. It was still bothering me so I brought up again and he would get upset. Her birthday is the same month as mine so he texted me "Happy Birthday baby" he didn't buy me anything although I didn't really expect him too but I felt like I deserved something a little more elaborate than a text message. I knew something was up. Next week he was coming home and we were supposed to talk about what we want and make it official.

 

He would bring up dudes commenting on my photos and me FaceTiming other guys. He wanted me to be exclusive to him and we were not in a relationship but we were working towards one, so I thought. And cut these guys off for him.

 

I put my FBI hat on today and started digging because he started to act weird and we were supposed to see each other in 5 days. When I searched awhile ago it lead me to a dead end but I said why not search Twitter and that's when I found her. She spoke so highly of him on there. I messaged him on Facebook and told him what I found and that he was a terrible person and that I was considering telling her. He opened the message and ignored it. So I did just that I found her # messaged her and told her the truth. Turns out they had been dating for almost 3 years. They broke up once last year and then got back together. She added me on Snapchat and Twitter. And we settled it like women and are both done with him well at least I am. She said she was too but who knows.

 

He deleted me off Facebook later tonight. I wanted to be the one to delete first but I wanted to see if he was going to message back so I could bury him one last time.

 

I have never been in this situation before and I'm losing my mind. I was the other woman and I feel crappy. I don't know what to do because I fell for him and this feels a lot worse than a breakup.

[Starswillshine]

You didn't know. When you found out, you did the right thing and tried to make it right.

 

Don't feel bad for the situation you were in unknowingly. You did nothing wrong. And you stood up for yourself and didn't allow this behavior to continue.

 

Chin up.

[Lobouspo]

Unfortunately, you were played and nothing more than than a piece of a-- for this guy. Lesson learned. Good on you for exposing the dirtbag.

[Methodical]

You dodged a bullet! Glad you and the other woman worked it out maturely instead of having a catfight. Too bad more women can't band together like you did.

[grays]

Im sorry! I had a similar situation once but I didnt find out until a year after he'd gotten orders to go to Hawaii. During that year we werent in any kind of relationship, both of us supposedly dating other people. Then he started really pushing for me to come visit. Some stuff he said made me suspicious and I spent a few hours combing the web. Managed to fing his facebook page which was under his first name and wife's first name. The most recent post was a pic of a huge diamond ring he'd just given her for their 16th anniversary. I was horrified.

 

This was probably 4 mo ths ago and I've had no contact with him since. Ive thought about confronting him, but I'd never contact or tell her about it. I feel horrible enough that I had any small part in undermining her happiness. I understand that in some sense I'd be doing her a favor if she doesnt already know he's a cheater. But I actually think its possible that they're happy and in love. He's a marine. She was out of town while we were together (pretty sure she left for hawaii three months before him and thats when we were together). My hope is that when he's with her he's really with her and they are as happy as they look on facebook.

 

At any rate... it was an awful feeling to see that facebook page pop up. I couldnt believe that nearly everything he said to me was a lie. I was crazy about him but none of it was true. He wasnt that person at all.