Cookiesandough Posted September 18, 2017 Share Posted September 18, 2017 (edited) I (mid late 20s) don't think I've ever received a message from a man over 38... Why? I don't think my profile is immature. It's just interesting that I mostly get 30-35 with a few 38 but never any higher??? I mean not one guy in his 40s messaging me that I can recall? No guys in their 60s? I mean not that I'm trying to date a guy that much older, just curious? Can other ladies relate? Edited September 18, 2017 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted September 18, 2017 Author Share Posted September 18, 2017 (edited) Seriously, what is going on here. does it only show you people that you are searching for? Like only people who fit your search parameters? Is there a cut off age where you can't message? Or do I just suddenly become repulsive to men after they hit a certain age. This is really weird Edited September 18, 2017 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
grays Posted September 18, 2017 Share Posted September 18, 2017 Im 47 and I also mostly get messages in that age range and younger. Maybe that age range of guys is particularly active in OLD. I just recently met a guy who's 40 IRL and its such a relief to be spending some time with a guy who's not going to have to move on soon so he can have a family. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted September 18, 2017 Author Share Posted September 18, 2017 (edited) I just figured out that you don't match with people on tinder unless you have their age selected in your search. Now that I have expanded my age range, I am getting older matches. But I think you are right, grays. That age group is more active online dating. Edited September 18, 2017 by Cookiesandough 1 Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted September 18, 2017 Share Posted September 18, 2017 Why do you want guys in their 40s and up messaging you? Most women are trying to avoid that! 7 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted September 18, 2017 Share Posted September 18, 2017 I'm pretty old, so does this count? Should I talk dirty or something? 12 Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted September 18, 2017 Share Posted September 18, 2017 I'm pretty old, so does this count? Should I talk dirty or something? Impress her with stories of how you killed the woolly mammoth in your youth! 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 I (mid late 20s) don't think I've ever received a message from a man over 38... Why? I don't think my profile is immature. It's just interesting that I mostly get 30-35 with a few 38 but never any higher??? I mean not one guy in his 40s messaging me that I can recall? No guys in their 60s? I mean not that I'm trying to date a guy that much older, just curious? Can other ladies relate? Most men over 38 are not looking to start a family, most women under 35 are. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 Is there a cut off age where you can't message? It depends on the site. POF for example, has a built-in age difference of 14 years, no matter what you set in your preferences. This was put in quite a few years ago because the number of dirty old men messaging young ladies was causing women to cancel their accounts in droves. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
caveman621 Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 I'm not entirely sure, but when I was using OLD you would put in the age range you were looking for. I was 50 so put something like 40-60. If I was looking for FWB, then, heck yes 20 something! But I figured they would not want to date me so I did not include that age range in what I was seeking. So 40 or 50 year olds probably are not messaging you because their age parameters are note set to search for women in their 20s. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
suds00 Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 i'm old.most women who are younger want children.i don't. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 No, definitely can't relate. I find it very creepy to have older men messaging on OLD. I would say, that perhaps older men who are not messaging are showing good judgment. More likely, they are assuming that a young woman will be hoping to have children/family and many... are probably already raising children with their ex-wives and not looking to have any more. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 (edited) To answer the original question, I am in my early 40s. I'd have no interest in dating women in their 20s, as a general rule anyway. We are just in different stages of our lives. Plenty of attractive women w their lives together in their 30s and up. So I wouldn't bother trying to match down below 31. I just figured out that you don't match with people on tinder unless you have their age selected in your search. Now that I have expanded my age range, I am getting older matches. But I think you are right, grays. That age group is more active online dating. Now I am confused. So you *want* to be messaged by much older men? Edited September 19, 2017 by Imajerk17 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 I suspect it's because they don't feel they have a real chance to have a meaningful and lasting connection with you. Most mature men are past the one-night stand stage and would just like to have one good girlfriend. Don't assume all are like that though. There are some who won't overlook you based on age alone. You just haven't come across him yet. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kazen Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 Curious, what are you looking for Cookie? Are you searching for a husband or just a temporarily/long term boyfriend? Do you plan to have kids? If so, at what age do you want to start a family? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Juha Posted September 21, 2017 Share Posted September 21, 2017 I'm older, want kids. I do not message women in their 20's for the most part they are not interested in someone my age... I did message whoever I found interesting at one point but encountered too many women put off by me messaging them so I just stopped bothering with women in their 20's. If that is who you are looking for then you should search for that.... I wish you luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted September 26, 2017 Author Share Posted September 26, 2017 (edited) Thank you. I think I like older men now. They are less drama. I seek a long-term partner. Kids or no kids Edited September 26, 2017 by Cookiesandough 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Soak Posted September 28, 2017 Share Posted September 28, 2017 Thank you. I think I like older men now. They are less drama. I seek a long-term partner. Kids or no kids It's a good start for a person to know what they want, so you're getting there cookie! Now it's just a matter of weeding them out until you find a bunch of potentials. Remember, get to know somebody slowly 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted September 28, 2017 Share Posted September 28, 2017 Thank you. I think I like older men now. They are less drama. I seek a long-term partner. Kids or no kids Less drama? I doubt that very much. Now you will be entering serious baggage territory... Ex wives, ex long term gfs, kids, mixed up and hurt kids... Guys who are hurt, bitter and disappointed. The emotionally restricted, the commitment-phobes, the divorcees, the playboys, the still married and attached, the "separated", the manipulators, the controllers and the abusers... Older guys seeking younger women who they know they can get away with murder with.. YOU think young men can be difficult, you ain't seen nothing yet. Stay in your own age group is my advice, you usually know their language and are better prepared for what they may hit you with. Yes there are good guys in any age group, but do not assume that the older they are means you are somehow entering a "better" pool. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 28, 2017 Share Posted September 28, 2017 I would bet you look younger than you really are.. so you look too young for someone in their 40's or 50's to be hitting on. Most women get creeped out by older men hitting on them and if you think about it for a good reason, there is nothing that a man in his 50's can bring to the table of someone in their 20's.. besides security that is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
knabe Posted September 28, 2017 Share Posted September 28, 2017 I would bet you look younger than you really are.. so you look too young for someone in their 40's or 50's to be hitting on. Most women get creeped out by older men hitting on them and if you think about it for a good reason, there is nothing that a man in his 50's can bring to the table of someone in their 20's.. besides security that is. This is true. And you definitely SEEM younger than you are. I would have guessed between 18-22. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted October 11, 2017 Share Posted October 11, 2017 Huh? Ten characters 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted October 11, 2017 Share Posted October 11, 2017 (edited) Thank you. I think I like older men now. They are less drama. I seek a long-term partner. Kids or no kids Not necessarily trye. I havent found older men to be less drama. They often have psychological baggage from being divorced 2,3,4x. The last guy i dated would bring his GROWN ADULT DAUGHTER on almost all of our dates. See, they are weird, too. To be honest, they are less attractive usually. The ones who you really, really dont want are the ones who really come after you. I got rid of a 50 something cyber stalker so long ago. Plenty of older men are trying to play the field. Ive even had men in their 30s, 40s try to lie and pretend they liked me so they could get sex. Eta: Also, an older man will compare you to all the dozens of women he has met. You dont do this like Amanda. You dont do this like Rachel. Thats one reason why some people will hit 40,50 and stay singe for a long time. They will want you to have everyones good habits and as few as possible of everyones bad habits. Oh and when your bad habits show its,"Youre reminding me of Christie!!!" Edited October 11, 2017 by hotpotato 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted October 11, 2017 Share Posted October 11, 2017 I would bet you look younger than you really are.. so you look too young for someone in their 40's or 50's to be hitting on. Most women get creeped out by older men hitting on them and if you think about it for a good reason, there is nothing that a man in his 50's can bring to the table of someone in their 20's.. besides security that is. I dont know. Ive been getting hit on by men up to 70 since i was 23. It seems to me like older men dont really care...? A lot of older guys ive met are broke so they dont even bring security. That op is not getting hit on by men old enough to be her father or grandfather is a blessing. I have the opposite problem, older men wint stay away from me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted October 11, 2017 Author Share Posted October 11, 2017 Well, I am talking to 2 men older than me(one is 38 and another is 43) and will meet with them soon. The reason I like them is because they seem more confident, practical, collected, and articulate. Younger men are kind of hard for me to talk sometimes. They don't seem very mature. Most I speak to are a little more emotionally mature than me, but that's like having more water than the Sahara desert. More importantly, a lot them don't keep up with current events or something. Especially in the science field, you run into guys who know next to nothing at all. Instead of it being an enriching experience, I often tell them about stuff. I like to learn. And their take on political issues are often bare bones and very out there. They're idealists without much grasp on reality; haven't been hardened by pragmaticism I guess, which isn't a bad mindset, but it's become tiresome to me. Also, older men present differently on dates. I have only been on a date with one very long ago who was a mutual friend and he had a very calm demeanor. I don't know how to put it, and again, I am sorry for generalizing, but younger men are often kind of fidgety like they are almost tweaking out of their skin on dates. Maybe it's loosely bridled hormones. I just think a date with older man will be a more interesting and dynamic experience. They have lived a longer life, after all. I have a frolicsome personality, but I will try to tone it and be more mature on my dates. Hopefully they like me. Link to post Share on other sites
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