Need Advice Badly

[mgd022]

I have never posted to this kind of forum before, but maybe I can find some advice about my problem that will help. Last year I met this girl while I was spending a semester abroad in college. We found out we had a lot in common and really liked being together so we started spending more and more time with each other. At the beginning she said she just wanted to be friends. I was fine with this at the time because I had just gotten out of a relationship and wasn’t looking to start anything new.

 

Well eventually our time abroad was over and it was time to come back to the US. We both go to school and live in the same state so we promised to visit and keeping touch. For awhile afterwards that is how things worked. We would call each other, email, and visit whenever we could find the time. As we continued to become closer, I started to develop feelings for her that were more than friendly. Maybe they were always there below the surface but now I can’t deny them. I have come to feel closer to her than I have ever felt with any other girl, even those I have dated. The problem with this is, I think she still just wants to be friends. I have never really told her about my feelings because I was afraid of making our relationship awkward, but now it seems like it is impossible for me to be with her in any capacity.

 

I have thought about just going separate ways, and I have been avoiding talking to her for quite awhile, but the time apart doesn’t seem to be making me feel any better. She still tries to get in touch with me, and I feel terrible for just ignoring her. I have gotten out of relationships before but in this case I hate to just say goodbye to someone I care about so deeply. I am ashamed to say that I sometimes feel resentful towards her when I feel like she is not returning my feelings, or when she wants to talk to me about relationships with other people. I don’t want to harbor bad feelings, but I would also hate to let go of one of the most caring people in my life. I am especially worried about hurting her because she has had to go through some really terrible relationships in the past. I love her and know that she deserves better and I don’t want to be just another one of the people who has caused her pain.

 

The way I see it my options are:

 

1. tell her how I feel and try to take it to the next level (although I don’t think this will happen)

2. just let go and keep avoiding her although we will both probably be hurt this way

3. I could also keep quiet and try to go back to just being friends which would only be hard on me, or I could try to explain why I can’t continue the friendship.

 

This has been really hard on me so any advice would really be appreciated.

[Outcast]

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You have reached the point where it's too painful to continue as 'just friends' so there's nothing to be lost by asking whether she'd be interested in trying out a different form of relationship. Since you are already considering cutting her off, you're prepared to lose her which might or might not happen if you try to change things but will certainly happen if you just dump her. So tell her you're interested in dating as gf bf and give her the option to decide.

[sburtug03]

What are you waiting for? All I see here is a win/win situation! You love a girl and love the time you spend with her, she loves the time she spends with you (this is obvious as she is constantly trying to get in contact with you) so she has to care for you. This is the Hollywood, romantics' dream and you are thinking of ruining it! Whatever for?! You need to be a man and tell her how you feel, if you don't you are going to waste your life with what ifs and disregard something that was simply 'meant to be.' Do it for all us girls out there. You have absolutely nothing to loose! Luv Samantha x Keep us posted.