Is it me, or are hot women attracted to jealous men?

[ironpony]

I've noticed in bars and night clubs, a lot of times if a women is hit on, while her bf is away and she is alone, and then her boyfriend will come back, get jealous to the point where the boyfriend will actually shove or even hit or attack the guy.

 

I've seen it happen a few times, and it happened to me twice actually. I didn't even hit on the guy's girl either time. Both times, I approached a woman I was into, and her friend was the one with the bf, but both times the bf, thought I was after their women, and one attacked me out right and I had to fight him, and the other threatened me but he threatened me with unreasonable violence in my opinion, when all I did was chat up his girlfriend's friend.

 

One thing I noticed about each of these women though is that they are pretty goodlooking. I have never seen an average to below average woman, have a bf that would have a reaction of violent temper towards a guy for coming up to her and talking, while he was away at the moment.

 

So I am wondering do hot women like men with violent jealous tempers perhaps? If so, why is that?

[The Urbanyst]

Hot women are more likely to be victims of harassment and violence since more men desire them. So they probably feel safer dating a jealous and protective partner.

 

Just a guess though.

[preraph]

There's just more men competing for hot women, so it happens more, but no woman with a lick of sense wants a jealous, insecure man who can only hold a woman by force or fights over her like she's a piece of meat.

[carhill]

IDK, most of the universally attractive wives I've met have pretty laid back husbands. Powerful, but laid back. They don't need to bump chests with other males to demonstrate their power and the wives seems fine with that. Perhaps it's different in the singles marketplace. Stimulating and controlling the violence of the male can be a marked demonstration of social power so there's that.

[normal person]

Yes, I think it's just you.

 

So I am wondering do hot women like men with violent jealous tempers perhaps? If so, why is that?

 

Just because a common factor is jealousy doesn't mean jealousy is the culprit. Jealousy is actually a sign of insecurity, and that's incredibly unattractive. Plus, I would not call the guys in scenarios you've described as "jealous" but rather "defensive." They aren't jealous that you have their girlfriend -- because you don't -- they're protecting their resource, something they have already. They're not "jealous" you get to talk to their girlfriend, they're establishing dominance over you, who wants the thing they have already. You covet the woman they have. They aren't jealous. They're satisfied.

 

The more likely assumption is that something women like about these men is not that they're jealous (because again, that is not what's happening here), they like them because they're strong willed, forthright, and willing to take a stand to defend and protect her.

Edited September 19, 2017 by normal person

[Bastile]

I agree.

 

On a very primal level, detached from any social conditioning, women greatly enjoy being the possession of a strong man. It's a sub/dom thing. The next time that your girl is highly aroused during sex (to start with) trash talk her about how you own her and see the positive reaction that you get

 

The times I've reached that dynamic with women (and it certainly hasn't been always, it's a great chemistry), the girl has been obsessed with me. It reaches a woman on an extremely deep emotional level.

 

This is the positive aspect of jealousy, if you like. But it's like walking on a thin line. When you start getting into mate-guarding and other things (which are actually on some level attractive to women too), it can also be contrary to a positive dynamic and put a strain on the relationship.

 

Hence why the best emotional bond, and best sex, doesn't necessarily lead to the most long term relationship.

 

I personally watched this dynamic unfold with my parents growing up. And it resulted in a divorce, despite my mum still being in love with my father to this day.

 

So, the trick (as in most things) is to take the positives and cull the negatives.

[SammySammy]

IDK, most of the universally attractive wives I've met have pretty laid back husbands. Powerful, but laid back. They don't need to bump chests with other males to demonstrate their power and the wives seems fine with that. Perhaps it's different in the singles marketplace. Stimulating and controlling the violence of the male can be a marked demonstration of social power so there's that.

 

I'm thinking the same thing.

 

Short-term, that might be cute and exciting for a while. I can imagine some women might like to see men fight over them.

 

In my experience, guys who consistently date very attractive women are not the types who are easily threatened by other men. They know they can get another just like her or better. And they know the only thing keeping a woman faithful is her decision to be faithful. Not his cockblocking.

 

Mate-guarding is for losers.

[ZayKayWill]

I can imagine that being a thing. It's like an ego boost that men literally fight for them. Kinda sad if you ask me. The last girl I dated many people considered a 10/10 or even higher. Can definitely say I was not the jealous type though. She can talk to as many guys as she wants. Why? Because at the end of the day she still chooses me. Really sorry to hear that people are so pathetic to the point where they need to get violent to make a point to you.

[ZayKayWill]

I'm thinking the same thing.

 

Short-term, that might be cute and exciting for a while. I can imagine some women might like to see men fight over them.

 

In my experience, guys who consistently date very attractive women are not the types who are easily threatened by other men. They know they can get another just like her or better. And they know the only thing keeping a woman faithful is her decision to be faithful. Not his cockblocking.

Mate-guarding is for losers.

 

Can we be best friends?

[SammySammy]

[/b]

 

Can we be best friends?

 

 

Some might advise you to stay away from me. Might pick up some bad habits.

 

Just telling the truth as I see it. Strength is trusting her and being secure enough to handle whatever happens. Trust and security build relationships. Jealousy and fighting are signs of weakness and insecurity to me. Usually, it's a sign that it's a short-term deal or he's about to lose her.

[ZayKayWill]

 

Some might advise you to stay away from me. Might pick up some bad habits.

 

Just telling the truth as I see it. Strength is trusting her and being secure enough to handle whatever happens. Trust and security build relationships. Jealousy and fighting are signs of weakness and insecurity to me. Usually, it's a sign that it's a short-term deal or he's about to lose her.

 

And yet the majority of people think it's normal to behave like this when it comes to the other guy/girl. I know there are a lot of shady people out there but if you can't learn to fully trust your partner you probably shouldn't be in a relationship to begin with.

[Woggle]

My wife is very hot and I never get jealous because if she wanted to cheat she will cheat. Why would I fight another man over something my wife is doing? She has my trust which is much more of an honor than jealousy could ever be.

[elaine567]

Last thread was about promiscuous women coming on to you from very bad areas of town and now you are talking about guys shoving, attacking or hitting other guys.

Maybe you should just stay out of what sounds like a pretty rough area.

[Steve51]

My personal experience is yes. Hot girls want you to show them that you are worried that due to their hotness, other guys want them. Some girls will do things to purposely try to make you jealous. I had a few hot girls but they thought that their looks was enough to bring to the bedroom. The only hot girl that I had great sex with was a model. She was on the road all year so she could not have any boyfriends. She was the best sex I ever had. She showed me things and I showed her things.

 

I used to be very jealous. I knocked down two men for making passes at my wife. One young man made the mistake of telling me to let my wife decide if he should leave or not. The other one was following my wife around and finally tried to get physical with her. I have interrupted guys dancing with my wife at weddings if I thought they were putting their hands in appropriate places. Guys get drunk at weddings and clubs and lose their inhibitions. Hands easily slip from small of back to butt cheeks.

 

When I got older the jealousy went away because I was no longer insecure or feared losing my wife to another man. Time and experience gave me no reason to fear losing her to another man. This is not something I just think. It has been tested and proven. Long story but after 45 years, I think it is safe to say that my lack of insecurity and loss of my wife, has been proven to be true.

[Woggle]

I know other men want my wife and I can't blame them. If you were to imagine the perfect woman my wife would be pretty damn close but the reason I don't jealous is she doesn't want them. She can have any man she wants and she chose me so what do I have to worry about and in the very unlikely even that she does cheat or leave me for another man she wouldn't be the great woman I thought she was anyway so no big loss.

[ZayKayWill]

I know other men want my wife and I can't blame them. If you were to imagine the perfect woman my wife would be pretty damn close but the reason I don't jealous is she doesn't want them. She can have any man she wants and she chose me so what do I have to worry about and in the very unlikely even that she does cheat or leave me for another man she wouldn't be the great woman I thought she was anyway so no big loss.

 

That's exactly the thing. People get so damn paranoid about their partner cheating when they hang around other opposite sex people. Why does it matter who they hang out with if your partner won't cheat?

[ironpony]

Okay thanks. Well I understand wanting to protect their resource as it was put on here, however, attacking someone for just talking seems like an extreme overreaction.

 

If the guy is not a real threat, since he is just talking, why physically attack? Are they that worried that their partners are going to cheat, or worried that the guy is going to do something to them, even though the guy is just talking... to the point where they feel it's best to punch first and ask questions later?

[normal person]

Okay thanks. Well I understand wanting to protect their resource as it was put on here, however, attacking someone for just talking seems like an extreme overreaction.

 

If the guy is not a real threat, since he is just talking, why physically attack? Are they that worried that their partners are going to cheat, or worried that the guy is going to do something to them, even though the guy is just talking... to the point where they feel it's best to punch first and ask questions later?

 

Some people are just aggressive. Some might be secretly insecure. And if your girlfriend is super hot, you've constantly got guys trying to hit on her and you might need to make a visible display of hostility towards anyone who tries to take her so no one else tries, etc. Any time I'm in a bar with a really attractive girl and get up for a minute, I know there's a good chance that when I get back some other guy will be trying to talk to her. Even walking down the street holding hands, sometimes the less scrupulous guys might still say something to her as if I'm not there. There are plenty of reasons. If your girlfriend is that attractive, you're really always, always, always fending off other guys and sometimes you might just need to get a little hostile about it.

 

But I'm confident in telling you that the reason the girl likes the guy is not because he's "jealous." Jealousy is unattractive. You don't know why she likes that guy in particular, and it might not even be his defensiveness over her. But rest assured, if he didn't make any sort of defense of her (loud, passively, or otherwise) he'd lose her. That's just upkeep. The cost of doing business.

 

Say you're a hungry lion in the wild and you kill an antelope and start eating it. It's your food. Then other hungry lions start approaching you and want some too. You want it all for yourself, it's yours, so you start roaring at them and showing your claws, establishing that you could hurt them if they try to take your resource. Same thing, in my eyes.

Edited September 20, 2017 by normal person

[Redhead14]

I've noticed in bars and night clubs, a lot of times if a women is hit on, while her bf is away and she is alone, and then her boyfriend will come back, get jealous to the point where the boyfriend will actually shove or even hit or attack the guy.

 

I've seen it happen a few times, and it happened to me twice actually. I didn't even hit on the guy's girl either time. Both times, I approached a woman I was into, and her friend was the one with the bf, but both times the bf, thought I was after their women, and one attacked me out right and I had to fight him, and the other threatened me but he threatened me with unreasonable violence in my opinion, when all I did was chat up his girlfriend's friend.

 

One thing I noticed about each of these women though is that they are pretty goodlooking. I have never seen an average to below average woman, have a bf that would have a reaction of violent temper towards a guy for coming up to her and talking, while he was away at the moment.

 

So I am wondering do hot women like men with violent jealous tempers perhaps? If so, why is that?

 

Just because they are good looking, doesn't mean they are strong, secure women who have good boundaries and know how to choose men that aren't controlling. I surmise that lots of times, they aren't with a guy because of that behavior or because they like it, it's because they can't break free of a guy who is controlling and jealous -- they are intimidated. Most strong women don't want a guy to fight over or for her. She can handle unwanted attention if it is truly unwanted.

 

The other side of this coin is that the guy could have been tolerating her flirtatious and/or cheating behavior and he's on edge/guarded and already stretched to his limit.

[nospam99]

Say you're a hungry lion in the wild and you kill an antelope and start eating it. It's your food. Then other hungry lions start approaching you and want some too. You want it all for yourself, it's yours, so you start roaring at them and showing your claws, establishing that you could hurt them if they try to take your resource. Same thing, in my eyes.

 

So a hot woman is like an antelope you've killed?

[NuevoYorko]

Short-term, that might be cute and exciting for a while. I can imagine some women might like to see men fight over them.

 

Yeah, and this is all happening in bars. Hot women in bars with (possibly drunk) guys fighting over them probably doesn't have that much relevance in the rest of life.

[ironpony]

Some people are just aggressive. Some might be secretly insecure. And if your girlfriend is super hot, you've constantly got guys trying to hit on her and you might need to make a visible display of hostility towards anyone who tries to take her so no one else tries, etc. Any time I'm in a bar with a really attractive girl and get up for a minute, I know there's a good chance that when I get back some other guy will be trying to talk to her. Even walking down the street holding hands, sometimes the less scrupulous guys might still say something to her as if I'm not there. There are plenty of reasons. If your girlfriend is that attractive, you're really always, always, always fending off other guys and sometimes you might just need to get a little hostile about it.

 

But I'm confident in telling you that the reason the girl likes the guy is not because he's "jealous." Jealousy is unattractive. You don't know why she likes that guy in particular, and it might not even be his defensiveness over her. But rest assured, if he didn't make any sort of defense of her (loud, passively, or otherwise) he'd lose her. That's just upkeep. The cost of doing business.

 

Say you're a hungry lion in the wild and you kill an antelope and start eating it. It's your food. Then other hungry lions start approaching you and want some too. You want it all for yourself, it's yours, so you start roaring at them and showing your claws, establishing that you could hurt them if they try to take your resource. Same thing, in my eyes.

 

I can understand a guy needing to defend the girl but I feel that punching other guys in the face and threatening to kill other guys, like some do, is too hostile.

 

Plus the guys don't even know the girl has a bf if the boyfriend leaves her side temporarily, so they are just innocent guys trying to chat a woman up.

 

I feel that putting the arm around the woman and leading her away is enough and do not see why death threats and acts of violence are okay to some people, just because a woman is approached.

 

I'm guessing guys who punch guys for hitting on their women do it often, and it probably gets to the point where they eventually get a prison sentence for assault. Would the women think it was worth a prison sentence, if they are testing their men to see if they will defend them?

Edited October 16, 2017 by ironpony