Playing hard to get

[zooker]

There is a woman that I've recently started dating. We met about five years ago, we're friends for about a year, then lost contact. We have recently met back up and have been talking for about three months now. We get along great and have many common interests. She sometimes gets playful with me, touching my arm and such when were talking. We've gotten personal as to what we're looking for in a girlfriend/boyfriend and are making great progress in getting reacquainted.

 

However, she's told me that she likes to take things slow and that she plays hard to get. I'm thinking that she does like me, but wants to play hard to get just so she can get to know me better (and me know her better) without jumping into anything serious. I really do like her, and my instinct tells me she does as well , but I feel so uncertain about the whole playing hard to get game. I'm just wondering what you folks think about women that act hard to get. Do you think she would play this is she didn't like me? Or yet, actually tell me that she's hard to get.

 

Thanks!

[nogames]

can I be honest here?, any Woman that tells you that she plays hard to get is obviously a game player and games are not fun, trust me I have just spent 5 frustrating months with a game player that I live with, that got jealous of girls I was dating so ****ed my best friend to get at me...oh even though she told me she had no feelings for me that way...Games suck and are only used by insecure and immature women at least in my experience.

 

I would say to her well you may like to play hard to get but I'm not fond of games so I won't be chasing you or something to that effect.

[amerikajin]

The thing you have to do before you pursue any kind of romance is to evaluate her interest in you. You have to ask "If I could hazard a guess, on a scale of 1 to 10 or 0-100, how interested is this girl in me?"

 

If you estimate the interest to be anything five or below, don't waste your time; if it's five or above you have a shot, but that doesn't guarantee anything - things can still get screwed up easily.

 

I guess the obvious next question is, "How can I tell how interested she is?" Well, you do that by her actions.

 

In your case, the good news is that she's flirting with you and touching you, so she at least feels comfortable around you. The problem is, time's a wastin', and nothing's happening between you two.

 

And I'm sorry, but usually, when a woman is really interested in a guy, she won't waste any time getting to know him. It's just human nature: you want something bad enough, you go out and get it. There are exceptions, but that's generally how it works.

 

So it looks like you're in limbo land. Interested and attracted enough to get to know you, but not interested enough to carry it further. I don't know what advice to give you, but if it were me, I'd just stop foolin' around and get to the bottom line. The bottom line is, you're interested in her as more than just a friend. It's okay to 'take it slow', but there should at least be some progression. You two should be getting closer on some level. If you feel that you're not, then you'll just have to be honest - with her and yourself.

[elijahBailey]

ok, me going to be blunt, too. At the rate you're going, you're gonna be firmly rooted in her 'friends' category before sundown. If I were to make a guess, I think you're one of those really nice guys, and she's just gonna be using you to give her the attention she needs, but it isn't going anywhere beyond that.

 

If I were you, I'd minimize contact with her and start showing interest and date other women. Will you be playing games? Well, yeah, but that's how it is with girls like that When she sees you dating other women, she might start to get more serious with you. But, even if she didn't, well, at least you can give yourself a pat in the back and tell yourself that you didn't play by her rules.

[zooker]

Thanks for your input. I really appreciate it. I think I'm going to cut my contact with her down and see how she responds. If she doesn't seem to care one way or the other, then I'm just gonna forget about her. There's no need in wasting my time on her if she's not interested.

 

Like I said, I i do liker her, but if she's not into me, then there's plenty of other fish in the sea! ....sorry for the cliche.