jessie9090 Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 i met a guy last year this is my story, hes charming always knows what to say, i met him off a dating site in January 2016 it was amazing fell for him instantly, he was amazing with my children all teenagers im 43 hes 46 i met one of his children too the meeting up twice a week changed he had his own shared accommodation so came to pick me up regularly took me to his watched movies cooked a meal for meal very romantic we get to the summer things start to change, became a bit distant i find out hes a fiance who only 22 same age as my daughter i was fuming spoke to his fiance few times shes a lovely girl and explains hes cheated on her before with 2 other girls one is was living with fast forward to march 2017, hes contacted me again and we have started our love affair again, hes told me ignore the stuff last year it was all lies, so he starts texting me every day again, but this time hes homeless living with his friend and has a new job as he got sacked on his last job he went distant again in july/august so i put it straight you either want me around or you dont and that i deserve respect here and i will walk away, so he text saying sorry of course i want you and has become homeless and hes sorry anyway my son texts him a lot as hes very angry at moment asking for his help with something and warned him i will walk away and he goes me and your mother are fine we been texting iv not received one text in 4 days off him anyway with his new job hes now saying hes works nights even though he promised see me once a week and cant this week due to working nights last week it was weekends 12 hour shifts but than gets called in week days everytime i get in my head im going to walk away he contacts me with charming self he knows im in love with him Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 So he was cheating on his fiance with you, and his fiance told you that he cheated on her with two other women. And you are asking if he is a player? C'mon OP. Really? You're 43. You can't claim to be this naive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jessie9090 Posted September 19, 2017 Author Share Posted September 19, 2017 its just in a mess really, he told me last year he was trying to have a double life and that its not the sex but he loves romance and wants stability but wants something else too and always says i'm not getting older like he don't accept it Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 (edited) its just in a mess really, he told me last year he was trying to have a double life and that its not the sex but he loves romance and wants stability but wants something else too and always says i'm not getting older like he don't accept it He's a known liar and yet you fall for his words. Just because he said so? When do you sit back and start thinking with your brain rather than your heart and start coming to some level of self-awareness? It does say something about your own emotional and mental dysfunction that you would still choose to be around someone like him. Any woman with a healthy level of self-esteem would have left the situation the moment she found out he was a serial cheater. Instead, when the red flag was slapping you in the face you again let him into your life. What could be so great about this man that you would ignore the signs? Cooked you meals, picked you up, etc. are all superficial values. Those are piddly basics. Where is your want for loyalty, trust, empathy, kindness, etc? Where are your core values and why isn't that what you seek in a partner? Why isn't that important for you? Do you love yourself enough to believe that you deserve more? Edited September 19, 2017 by Zahara Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 He's not working long shifts, he is dating another woman while he keeps you around using lies. That's his game. He keeps coming back because he know you are weak for him. So when there isn't anyone he is dating, he calls you up. When he meets someone, he makes up excuses to cover his tracks, and dates other woman. Don't get mad at him, you are the one that keeps seeing him, when you know he is as slimy as they come. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 i met a guy last year this is my story, hes charming always knows what to say, i met him off a dating site in January 2016 it was amazing fell for him instantly, he was amazing with my children all teenagers im 43 hes 46 i met one of his children too the meeting up twice a week changed he had his own shared accommodation so came to pick me up regularly took me to his watched movies cooked a meal for meal very romantic we get to the summer things start to change, became a bit distant i find out hes a fiance who only 22 same age as my daughter i was fuming spoke to his fiance few times shes a lovely girl and explains hes cheated on her before with 2 other girls one is was living with fast forward to march 2017, hes contacted me again and we have started our love affair again, hes told me ignore the stuff last year it was all lies, so he starts texting me every day again, but this time hes homeless living with his friend and has a new job as he got sacked on his last job he went distant again in july/august so i put it straight you either want me around or you dont and that i deserve respect here and i will walk away, so he text saying sorry of course i want you and has become homeless and hes sorry anyway my son texts him a lot as hes very angry at moment asking for his help with something and warned him i will walk away and he goes me and your mother are fine we been texting iv not received one text in 4 days off him anyway with his new job hes now saying hes works nights even though he promised see me once a week and cant this week due to working nights last week it was weekends 12 hour shifts but than gets called in week days everytime i get in my head im going to walk away he contacts me with charming self he knows im in love with him everytime i get in my head im going to walk away -- There shouldn't be an "everytime". The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. The guy is blowing smoke up your as*. Stop inhaling. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 i met a guy last year this is my story, hes charming always knows what to say, i met him off a dating site in January 2016 it was amazing fell for him instantly, he was amazing with my children all teenagers im 43 hes 46 i met one of his children too the meeting up twice a week changed he had his own shared accommodation so came to pick me up regularly took me to his watched movies cooked a meal for meal very romantic we get to the summer things start to change, became a bit distant i find out hes a fiance who only 22 same age as my daughter i was fuming spoke to his fiance few times shes a lovely girl and explains hes cheated on her before with 2 other girls one is was living with fast forward to march 2017, hes contacted me again and we have started our love affair again, hes told me ignore the stuff last year it was all lies, so he starts texting me every day again, but this time hes homeless living with his friend and has a new job as he got sacked on his last job he went distant again in july/august so i put it straight you either want me around or you dont and that i deserve respect here and i will walk away, so he text saying sorry of course i want you and has become homeless and hes sorry anyway my son texts him a lot as hes very angry at moment asking for his help with something and warned him i will walk away and he goes me and your mother are fine we been texting iv not received one text in 4 days off him anyway with his new job hes now saying hes works nights even though he promised see me once a week and cant this week due to working nights last week it was weekends 12 hour shifts but than gets called in week days everytime i get in my head im going to walk away he contacts me with charming self he knows im in love with him Yeah, well you need to ask yourself how many times does this guy have to send a telegraph that he cares about you a hell of a lot less than you care about him. He is showing you who he is. Believe him. Look, I am a guy in my 50's. I date women in their 20's still. But I also know enough that I have little in common with a female that age outside of a physical attraction TEMPORARILY. I certainly would never be so flagrantly reckless by being engaged to someone that young. That is a no win situation. As guys like I get older, our chances of actually pulling these May-December romances off are drastically reduced each day. What this shows me is that he will always be insecure and feel a need to search out comfort of other women. Plus he cheated on his FIANCE with YOU. I know the heart is strong, but please reconsider having any more contact with him. What actual good has come out of being with this guy thus far? Run screaming in to the night with your hair on fire away from this guy or I guarantee you that your conundrum is a walk in the park compared to your Chagrin if you stay pining away for this Guy So think about that Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 He's definitely not a keeper. Always use condoms. Get tested regularly, every 6 months. Do not give this man your heart. He will only break it. He's not to be trusted. Link to post Share on other sites
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