Is it wrong to feel hurt?

[Vivir]

yolo87, you are well within your right to feel all your feelings on the complete spectrum of feelings! I understand that your focus has been on him, but you will be better served by focusing on you. Upthread, you asked yourself some questions, and I am under the impression that these are questions you have never asked yourself before. Keep asking! Really think about the answers and ask yourself more questions. You'll learn to have a better relationship with YOU - which is of grand importance, because it will help you set boundaries for yourself now and into the future. This was a learning experience for you,and in several of your posts, you are working this out. Try to learn as much as you can, and resolve to never do it again. It is not worth it inviting this kind of pain and drama into your life...

 

Furthermore, understand what this man has done (i.e., helping you to make a mess in your life), and make a decision about you want to deal with him in the future and resolve to do just that if/when he contacts you again. In this way, you will be retaking your power.

[yolo87]

Bit of an update -

 

Got a message mid week. Came as a surprise. Was only a handful of messages but they were friendly and jokey he was saying he was under the weather then he stopped talking. The next day I text asking did he feel better and was just ignored. Got a text few days later saying no. I replied later that night and got one word answers. Sorta was like whatever and messsaged saying what's the point. He came back with if you want to go, go it's your decision type of thing. Attempted to tell him how I felt about the situation. Tried to say I felt a bit used and stuff. Came back with his head is messed up. He doesn't understand why he said things to me and why we met. He only wants friends and that is all.

 

I don't know how to feel. I think I was always confused as to why he still wants to be friends but I think it's obvious he is saving face now. Obviously wants to keep me sweet incase I blab and will just let it fade out.

 

So in all of this I was used as a boredom diversion in a marriage. He obviously wasn't getting the attention he needed so he went to me. Now after we met he has realised what he's done and of course now I'm kicked to the curb. So that's the reality. No fantasy thinking that this person was so into me and was so confused. Nope I made it easy for him and he took me for a ride.

 

Gonna mope about the rest of the weekend. Feel like crap and a bit worthless. So gonna feel sorry for myself until Monday then gonna get my ass into gear. Just have to try and not think about it or over think. It is what it is. Nothing i can do about it. Just got to learn from it. Self esteem has taken a beaten though. Essentially I let myself be the OW, an experiment and now I was proven just how little i was thought of.

 

Meh. I'll look back and laugh.