Guest Posted August 15, 2005 Posted August 15, 2005 just a question... it amazes me how whenever my boyfriend and i are together...he is extremely affectionate, touchy, loving, sweet, kind. i suppose these are his attempt to woo me into sex? because once the act is over...he literally rolls over and falls asleep, snoring. if we otherwise watch TV or relax together afterwards, he is distant, wants to be left alone, and basically IGNORES me; whereas, i want to cuddle, be touched, and affectionate...i don't want it all to end once we cum. i know this probably seems amusing and IS a rather common occurence, but can someone please enlighten me? what is it about men that makes them go from one extreme to the other? i swear, i know this man loves me, but i can't help but feel like a piece of meat from time to time and it pi$$es me off! any insight?
elijahBailey Posted August 15, 2005 Posted August 15, 2005 that's what we men do, so try not to let that get to you Women want to cuddle and men just want to go to sleep right after sex. That's just the way things are.
whichwayisup Posted August 15, 2005 Posted August 15, 2005 Yes, men tend to fall asleep afterwards, but if you make him stand up or go the bathroom - That feeling that he gets to instantly fall asleep goes away. He's taking it to another level, especially being distant and cold towards you. THAT is not nice. Maybe he feels TOO much emotion afterwards, feels too attached and needs some space after...Still doesn't mean he has to back off so much. Tell him how it makes you feel...Suggest to him a give/take thing - At times he can go to sleep right after, but sometimes he needs to stay in bed, cuddle and talk with you. Compromise.
Guest Posted August 15, 2005 Posted August 15, 2005 thanks for the repsonses... do men really feel emotions during sex or is that just your way of expressing emotion? i also have heard that men can "just do it" with no feelings, whereas women get attached. is it that you're sleepy afterwards or just don't want to be close? LOL. i know men and women are different, so i'm trying really hard to be understanding.
New_Wife Posted August 15, 2005 Posted August 15, 2005 I've never been a man, so I can't speak for them. However, after a particularly strong orgasm I want nothing better than to drift off into sleepland. Sometimes a sandwich, but mostly a nice snooze.
elijahBailey Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 oh hey, New_Wife, you sound almost like a man to the OP, no offence, I think it's mostly physical with the emotions taking a backseat during sex. But seriously, you shouldn't take it personally, I'd bet most men are like that. I just feel sleepy after that with all the pressure released... <yawn> Really, I think it's just the way we're wired. My girl has never been successful gettin' me to talk after sex. I hope you have better luck with your man
Annacabana Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sexconcerns/0,,drpatti_2r28,00.html
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