Attached people view on Single people

[Mysterio]

For those of you that are attached be you common law or married. Do you think that some of us who are on here are asking for too much.

 

Are we a little bit overboard with out wants desire over the opposite sex. While you have more the scoop of reality on what it takes to be in a romantic relationship. Are we in otherwords a bit too much when it comes to our desire for love.

 

What do you think about your single friends and what they have to say about their desires over finding and experiacing love.

[d0nnivain]

Overboard, no.

 

 

Everybody wants to feel loved. When you are single but don't want to be, sometimes the world feels a little like Noah's Ark -- everybody is paired off 2 x 2 -- but you are the odd one out.

 

 

I do think that sometimes it's easier for a stranger to see what's wrong because we're not as close to it & we're not emotional.

 

 

There are occasional people who are over the top

[RecentChange]

I think a desire for love is totally understandable – but its often the road blocks that those that are searching put in the way that blow me away.

 

The check lists, the must have all of the following list… only attracted to people that look like “X”.

 

I have never ever had any such lists, or what appear at times to be strict definitions as to what is attractive and what is not etc.

 

I am left thinking “no wonder they are still single”.

 

This is not to say I that I don’t have standards, but mine seem to be pretty different than many.

 

First and foremost, someone who RESPECTS me, and who I admire. And they admire me, and I respect them.

Someone I get along with, communicate with effortlessly and vice versa.

Someone who has the basics I need for physical attraction.

 

Basically I want someone who understands me, and cares about me – and someone I care about and understand.

 

Annnnd that’s about it – that’s my “list”. Not how tall he is, color of his eyes, the job he has, how many people he has slept with before yadda yadda yadda.

 

The fleeting times I have been single its because I wanted to be (and by single, I mean non-committed, because I am still dating people). Relationships have always come easy to me. I find it easy to connect with people – but I imagine some of the really enjoyable men I have known might not make it through these check lists.

 

I often think of a good friend – she has WANTED a partner, and even more a family and children since I met her when we were teenagers….

 

Yet she had these “lists”. She had this romanticsed version of what things were suppose to look like. She had these “standards” that she wanted a man to live up to, yet she didn’t possess all those qualities herself.

 

The outcome? 39 years old, never a serious relationship, no kids….

[darkmoon]

some single ppl were dumped, have no clue about keeping a relationship going and display annoyance at friends over the slighter things, which shows what horrors they are, more fool them

[GunslingerRoland]

Married with kids my first thought about single people is jealousy of the freedom... but honestly I don't know many single people. Almost everyone I know is married (or equivalent).

 

The sense I get is that online dating is absolutely soul crushing for the majority and most single people rely on it too much. My one advice for single people which I've said many times on here is to get from online to offline early. It goes hand in hand with what RC is saying about checklist dating. Get past that stuff into real compatibility.

[sandylee1]

I don't think singles are being too picky at all. If I knew then what I know now, I'd very likely be more fussy tbh.

 

I do however think you need to be realistic.

 

What I find with some single people I know, is that don't make what if call enough effort to find someone...yet thet complain.

 

Even if I didn't meet my husband...I know I'd have met and married someone else.

Edited September 27, 2017 by sandylee1
Typo

[GoodOnPaper]

I'm of a split mind. I envy the freedom single people have - I'd certainly feel more comfortable in my skin if I was single now than when I was actually single. On the other hand, from a male standpoint and based on what I read on LS, the odds of successfully navigating the initial meeting/attraction phase seem just as improbable as it felt when I was single. That wouldn't be fun.

 

I am surprised that people find compatibility and basic kindness to be so difficult in a relationship or hard to find in the first place. Maybe that's a consequence of focusing so much on whether a man is one-night-stand-attractive physically.

[Mysterio]

Here is how I see it. The Attached think that the Singles, are not pulling their weight when it comes to making that effort to romantically connect with another person.

 

They think that we should be out there asking people out. Yet if you start doing that. Unless you are asking women that are isolated from each other. That Desperate tag starts to follow you.

 

My perception of the Attached is that they are reasonably happy. Some more than others. I think that the Attached learn to live with what they have for the most part.

 

I personally think that most of us will mate off. Its the rituals of how it works out. Some of us are going way too overboard when it comes to aquiring love. Its almost to satisfy our ego more than some major love.

 

I could be single for most of my life, if I did not have that desire for a physical connection and basic friendship.

 

When I look at my attached friends. They basically met their spouses when they were chilling. . Not out on the hunt. None of my male friends met their spouse in some sort of hight stakes hijynx. Its almost like a friendship with a romantic twist. Most of it was low key. It felt like the women were the driving force making it happen with my male friends.

 

My female friends. Hard to say. Its like they more let it happen. I think that for the most part. People meet by chance and it seems like if the woman is the most disatisfied within the relationship. It won't work long term. To me its like Men are more low maintanence as a whole. All they really need is space, physical affection and a little bit of laughs.

[Chilli]

Most definitely , it is just surreal, can't believe some of the crap l read and the details and names or letters or terms for everything , internet anyway. And the things people will just blurt out all over it for all to see, pretty mind blowing.

Not to mention all the lists and garbage.

Although l dunno how realist the internet stuff is though as compared to out there in the real world, l'm new at this these days but hopefully the real world isn't as crazy as the internet.

l'm single now but was married 20yrs or always had gf's .

Ex and l always noticed things about single people we knew especially long term single people.

But now , all this stuff , the internet, it's a whole new crazy.