My abusive online boyfriend doxxed me and threatens me all the time

[ireallylovedhim]

So there's this one guy who offered me expensive gifts, love, money, and vacations if I dated him, I fell for it, now he has all my personal information that he spreads publicly. So he's been cyberbullying me and blackmailing me, and encouraging other people to do it as well. He constantly threatens to take me to court and sue me and ughhh I really don't want to have to go to court over some stupid online relationship. Should I do anything or just let it go? Nothing happened to me after I got doxxed except for getting an embarrassing old picture leaked but that had been leaked before anyway. I didn't get any weird phonecalls or pizza deliveries or anything like that. Either way I'm uncomfortable knowing a bunch of people have my information saved on their hard drive because of this guy. I don't feel safe anymore, I feel any random person on the street is someone he paid to find me and stalk me (he's the type of person to send other people to do his dirty work). He's also not above threatening innocent people like my family.

 

He didn't even give me the gifts money or vacations he promised. This really sucks and I feel like a total idiot for falling for his lovebombing. I'm honestly so ashamed and embarrassed.

Edited September 26, 2017 by ireallylovedhim

[ireallylovedhim]

But at the same time I'm so damn lonely and I just want him to lovebomb me again. He was doing it a week or so ago but I expressed my distrust for him then he threw a fit and went back to threatening me.

 

If I had a real loving boyfriend and friends then I would not be in this situation right now. I mean so far it's hasn't been a big deal to get doxxed because nothing has happened to me but I'm always thinking about what CAN happen and it won't let me sleep at night.

 

I'm in such a horrible place because I'm desperate for any kind of affection but the only guy offering it (sometimes) is him.

[basil67]

Wait, I'm confused. Is this the same guy you had an online relationship with from this thread? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/634654-i-rejected-man-i-loved-treated-him-badly-i-deeply-regret

[ireallylovedhim]

Also I forgot to include he's doing this because he's really mad I stood him up, he flew to another state and I didn't show up (this isn't the same guy from my other thread, this is a different guy) because of my anxiety again and also he said I was below average looking so that didn't help in my confidence in him. I'm like well "if you're going to be this way towards me and give me such cruel and unjust punishment then maybe it's a good thing I stood you up" because of how mean he is to me.

 

Like even the other guy (the one that flew to a different continent for me) I didn't meet (not on purpose) doesn't call me fat and ugly even when he's mad at me. Well actually he does threaten to dox me and it is his fault that my embarrassing pictures were leaked because I only shared them with him. But still I feel like he treats me better.

 

 

Ugh idk I'm so done with online dating.

Edited September 26, 2017 by ireallylovedhim

[ireallylovedhim]

Some people might say "you're a b and you deserve it" but no that's just not right. I need a guy who's really patient and understanding, and if he isn't, then he isn't the right guy for me. He's supposed to be there for me instead of attacking me.

[ireallylovedhim]

Wait, I'm confused. Is this the same guy you had an online relationship with from this thread? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/634654-i-rejected-man-i-loved-treated-him-badly-i-deeply-regret

 

No this is not the same guy, it's some other guy who's meaner and who I like less

[ireallylovedhim]

Wait, I'm confused. Is this the same guy you had an online relationship with from this thread? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/634654-i-rejected-man-i-loved-treated-him-badly-i-deeply-regret

No this is not the same guy, it's some other guy who's younger and lives closer, but is meaner and I like him less.

Edited September 26, 2017 by ireallylovedhim

[ireallylovedhim]

Or maybe I do deserve it because it can give me some insight into my own behavior and make me aware of how I make other people feel. If this is how I make other people feel then maybe I deserve to be alone. It feels AWFUL! But idk I just think a man is supposed to be stronger and more supportive than this...

 

I'm seriously never trusting anyone again this is just awful. I feel like it's actual abuse that threatens my safety and wellbeing.

Edited September 26, 2017 by ireallylovedhim

[basil67]

I can't imagine a man who's supportive nature would go to tolerating a woman who stood him up after flying to see her. You are expecting far too much.

 

That said, two wrongs don't make a right and this type of revenge is not ok. Did you pay him back the money he wasted on airfares? Whn we make a bad choice and waste someone's time and money, it is good manners to try to cover their losses.

[ireallylovedhim]

Also this guy I described in the OP, yeah I stood him up but it was only like a state away plus he's never worked a day in his life and didn't even have to take any days off work or anything. His dad paid for everything. He frequently goes on vacations (he has rich parents) and enjoys traveling so why make such a big deal out of this? He's just mad he got rejected and I think this is really unfair.

 

Ugh this is what makes me hate myself even more because the other guy (the guy who i really love and want) is an actual hard worker, he's worked hard for his money and flew a longer distance, he's so genuine and he wouldn't do something like this to me. he might threaten it but I know he would never go as far to actually do it like the jerk in the OP. I wish I could go back in time and meet the other guy (i'll just call him tall dark and handsome from now on). If I met tall dark and handsome then I'd have a good boyfriend right now and wouldn't have to resort to talking to bad people online just for companionship.

[ireallylovedhim]

I can't imagine a man who's supportive nature would go to tolerating a woman who stood him up after flying to see her. You are expecting far too much.

 

That said, two wrongs don't make a right and this type of revenge is not ok. Did you pay him back the money he wasted on airfares? Whn we make a bad choice and waste someone's time and money, it is good manners to try to cover their losses.

 

He's done more than enough in making him pay him back with this abuse. I regret the day I started talking to him again. I wish i would've just ignored that text he sent me.

Edited September 26, 2017 by ireallylovedhim

[BaileyB]

Never send a man nude photos - expect that they will be shared with others when you break up or just because, it's Tuesday and he feels like showing his buddies. Bad idea!

Further, just what are you doing begging and harassing a man until he agrees to date you again? This just doesn't sound like healthy behavior in a relationship, not at all...

[PegNosePete]

Wow, your own issues aside, he sounds like a complete douche. You should block him and never speak to him again.

 

Then get yourself booked in for some therapy.

[Woon]

What the hell is wrong with this world? Im 28 years old and ive NEVER asked for nudes. Not even from girls i dated long term. Just such a dick move.

 

Dont do it girl, just dont.

[CptInsano]

I would take a break from dating until your self-esteem has recovered, by whatever means necessary. Otherwise you are just prone to be taken advantage of in a relationship. Just stop.