elaine567 Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 Sorry for bringing up and old thread. Still missing the same girl.. hasn't been the same I still can't get over her. She is now dating someone. Out of drunken desperation I called her out on it and asked why she'd date a mutual friend of mine. No answer. I messaged the mutual friend and he just told "We haven't talked or seen each other in years, man. Can we really be even considered friends. She's my best friend and I genuinely love her. Please just let it go." Sometimes I creep on her social media to see how she's doing. She used to post a lot about me and would show me off but she hasn't made much of her personal life public since the public. I feel like a loser, but I still want to be a part of her life. You are not doing a good job of showing her you have changed into a better man. You dumped her to see other women and now she has a bf you try to guilt trip her and worse still you try to pull the "bro code" on a guy who you haven't see for years... Not content with hurting her and leaving her upset, devastated and damaged, you then tried to sabotage her new found happiness. That is not love. Leave her alone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zapbasket Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 You are not doing a good job of showing her you have changed into a better man. You dumped her to see other women and now she has a bf you try to guilt trip her and worse still you try to pull the "bro code" on a guy who you haven't see for years... Not content with hurting her and leaving her upset, devastated and damaged, you then tried to sabotage her new found happiness. That is not love. Leave her alone. THIS. When you're blatantly dismissive of someone as you were to your ex not only in ending the relationship to play the field but also, from the sound of it, pretty significantly during the relationship, too, it's possible to FORGIVE but not to FORGET. We always remember how someone made us feel, and sometimes when we're in the glow of a relationship we make excuses for those niggling bad feelings, but once we're free of the person and their negative remarks and/or attitude, we realize the extent of negative impact that person had on our psyche and we definitely do not want to revisit that experience. It's kind-of irrelevant if the person who hurt us sees the error of his or her ways, except in so far as most people are glad when someone grows and learns from their experiences. I think this all applies to your ex. You had your chance with her, and I won't say that you "blew it," because I agree with other posters who say if you'd ever truly seen her as "the one," you'd have treated her and the relationship better. Something wasn't hitting the mark for you, and that something could simply be that you weren't ready for a mature adult committed relationship. And that's OK; just try to use this time alone to be honest with yourself about what you really want right now. Spend your time on THAT, not chasing after someone who wisely has focused on moving forward in her life after you removed yourself from her equation. You made a choice: now stand by it. Sometimes the best kind of "second chance" is to use what you have learned to live a better life and be a better person in the now and in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
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