Aquantaince's girlfriend was cheating on him with me. Should I tell him ?

[streetmaniac]

My friend's girlfriend was cheating on him with for 2 months. They had kept their relationship a secret from everyone and have only made it official now. The fling was the girl's idea and whenever I asked her about her equation with the guy she would lie and tell me that they were just friends. I did not wish to get involved with her if they were anything more than friends as it turns out they were. The guy and I are not close friends but still friends.I met her through him since they were always together.

 

She lied to me about their relationship status deliberately in order to get in my pants. I fell for her thinking we were exclusive but she was lying to me all along. She has hidden this from her guy as well.

 

The worst thing is that she did all this with me at his place in his bed behind his back. In fact one day she did stuff with me while he was sleeping on a bed passed out drunk right next to her. she even asked me to **** her right there but i refused. We would even hang out behind his back.

 

One day an incident took place and i found out they were still sexually involved, after that we kind of stopped talking to each other. But recently i found out that they were unofficially dating at the time and have just recently made it official.

 

I am in a dilemma. The guy is very serious about her and I believe he has the right to make an informed choice, something that this girl robbed me off by lying about her relationship with this guy. She is a very treacherous woman. I have never even received an apology from her. She doesn't talk to me and is kind of scared to even look me in the eye now. When i get even close to that guy, she gets scared. she cant go scot free after what she has done with both of us.

 

What should i do ? Should i tell him ? he has the right to make an informed choice about her. I need to get this off my chest but I am not sure if I should get involved.

[salparadise]

 

...they were unofficially dating at the time and have just recently made it official.

 

she cant go scot free after what she has done with both of us.

 

What should i do ? Should i tell him ? he has the right to make an informed choice about her. I need to get this off my chest but I am not sure if I should get involved.

 

Dude, take a deep breath and chill. Your motivation is all about you and how you feel. She might be a bit shady, but if they weren't official and keeping it on the down low, then it's not like she killed your dog. She sex'd you up and didn't tell you she was banging the other guy too. So what? It's not your job to correct the course of the universe. The guy will either figure out who she is or not, but inserting your version of truth or consequences will probably not be taken as you intend, or have the results you intend.

[d0nnivain]

Which relationship do you value more - him or her? By telling him you may lose them both but if he's really your friend, I'd tell him. You don't have to phrase it as cheating. You don't know it was. You don't know if they were exclusive back them but like you said, he should be able to make an informed choice.

 

Understand, once he learns that you have been with his GF, if he choses to stay with her they will both avoid you like the plague.

[stillafool]

Yes tell him - today.

[road]

This friend deserves the truth regardless.

 

Whether if she cheated on him or not.

So he is not left to feel like a fool because his

GF and you share this secret.

 

No man wants another man around that has

had sex with his GF.

[Space Ritual]

My friend's girlfriend was cheating on him with for 2 months. They had kept their relationship a secret from everyone and have only made it official now. The fling was the girl's idea and whenever I asked her about her equation with the guy she would lie and tell me that they were just friends. I did not wish to get involved with her if they were anything more than friends as it turns out they were. The guy and I are not close friends but still friends.I met her through him since they were always together.

 

She lied to me about their relationship status deliberately in order to get in my pants. I fell for her thinking we were exclusive but she was lying to me all along. She has hidden this from her guy as well.

 

The worst thing is that she did all this with me at his place in his bed behind his back. In fact one day she did stuff with me while he was sleeping on a bed passed out drunk right next to her. she even asked me to **** her right there but i refused. We would even hang out behind his back.

 

One day an incident took place and i found out they were still sexually involved, after that we kind of stopped talking to each other. But recently i found out that they were unofficially dating at the time and have just recently made it official.

 

I am in a dilemma. The guy is very serious about her and I believe he has the right to make an informed choice, something that this girl robbed me off by lying about her relationship with this guy. She is a very treacherous woman. I have never even received an apology from her. She doesn't talk to me and is kind of scared to even look me in the eye now. When i get even close to that guy, she gets scared. she cant go scot free after what she has done with both of us.

 

What should i do ? Should i tell him ? he has the right to make an informed choice about her. I need to get this off my chest but I am not sure if I should get involved.

 

 

If you were a real Street Maniac you would never even have to ask this question.

 

You'd have asked your "friend" about this as soon as she even bantered about messing around.

 

You have culpability in this as well, so fully accept you may get tuned up as a result

Edited September 29, 2017 by Space Ritual

[Space Ritual]

I had to come back and reread your post multiple times because I couldn't figure out whether or not you are completely clueless or totally callous.

 

I think you operated on the assumption that a Stiff Dick has no conscience.

 

Well young man, at the current rate you are going at some point in the not too distance future you will probably be taking your meals out of a straw, either from this "friend" or anther "friend" you pull this on.

 

Pull your head out of your ass and act like an adult before you end up in a garbage bag by the side of Highway 64.

[smackie9]

Be prepared for nothing to happen. This sort of thing isn't a dealbreaker for some, especially since they were not exclusive...hell he could have been banging other chicks at the time for all you know. One thing that will happen....none of them will ever talk to you again. In these situations nothing positive comes out of it. You most certainly will not be looked at as some hero for exposing her pre exclusive activities. Will she learn anything? probably not. She will just carry on as before.

[streetmaniac]

Which relationship do you value more - him or her? By telling him you may lose them both but if he's really your friend, I'd tell him. You don't have to phrase it as cheating. You don't know it was. You don't know if they were exclusive back them but like you said, he should be able to make an informed choice.

 

Understand, once he learns that you have been with his GF, if he choses to stay with her they will both avoid you like the plague.

 

I am not on talking terms with the girl anyway now. As i said in my post, she is even scared of looking at me and gets really edgy when i even acknowledge her bf.

 

As for the guy, we aren't such close friends anyway. In fact me and girl became better friends during our little fling even though i met her through him.

 

Anyways, the classes i am attending with these guys will get over in 20 days and after that i may never see them again. So I am not concerned about our equation really.

[streetmaniac]

If you were a real Street Maniac you would never even have to ask this question.

 

You'd have asked your "friend" about this as soon as she even bantered about messing around.

 

You have culpability in this as well, so fully accept you may get tuned up as a result

 

See the thing is that my friend also told me that he and this girl were just friends. It's only recently that i found out they were unofficially dating. Though i am not sure if they were exclusive.

[streetmaniac]

I had to come back and reread your post multiple times because I couldn't figure out whether or not you are completely clueless or totally callous.

 

I think you operated on the assumption that a Stiff Dick has no conscience.

 

Well young man, at the current rate you are going at some point in the not too distance future you will probably be taking your meals out of a straw, either from this "friend" or anther "friend" you pull this on.

 

Pull your head out of your ass and act like an adult before you end up in a garbage bag by the side of Highway 64.

 

Please read my post again. I told you that these guys told me all this while that they were just friends. I asked the girl multiple times before and even during our fling as what was going on between them as they were always together. She kept telling me that they were just friends and nothing more. I was operating based on whatever knowledge was available to me. There is no question of my conscience here. I wouldn't have gotten involved had i known.

[streetmaniac]

Be prepared for nothing to happen. This sort of thing isn't a dealbreaker for some, especially since they were not exclusive...hell he could have been banging other chicks at the time for all you know. One thing that will happen....none of them will ever talk to you again. In these situations nothing positive comes out of it. You most certainly will not be looked at as some hero for exposing her pre exclusive activities. Will she learn anything? probably not. She will just carry on as before.

 

I am not sure if they were exclusive or not but they were certainly involved and were unofficially in a relationship. It is a strong possibility that they were exclusive.

 

My intention here is not to get them to break up. The outcome is not my concern. I just want him to KNOW. What he does with this knowledge is not my concern at all.

[smackie9]

Well then chop chop, give the guy the heads up.

[Tiana09]

Sometimes it's noise telling as either he won't believe you or will just overlook it. I also told a woman about her husband's extreme cheating and she responded by posting happy pictures of her and her wayward man. He was forgiven in 3 days and I was the bad one. Just don't bother .but if he is a close friend of yours and it being that you guys have been doing that behind his back ,he probably needs to know. If you aren't really close ,just forget about it and let them be.she might continue cheating on him Anyways and he is bound to find out somehow.

[streetmaniac]

Sometimes it's noise telling as either he won't believe you or will just overlook it. I also told a woman about her husband's extreme cheating and she responded by posting happy pictures of her and her wayward man. He was forgiven in 3 days and I was the bad one. Just don't bother .but if he is a close friend of yours and it being that you guys have been doing that behind his back ,he probably needs to know. If you aren't really close ,just forget about it and let them be.she might continue cheating on him Anyways and he is bound to find out somehow.

 

We aren't close friends.

 

Even I want to let it go but the idea of letting her go scot free with this and poor guy getting serious about a girl like this makes me wonder...

[Space Ritual]

Please read my post again. I told you that these guys told me all this while that they were just friends. I asked the girl multiple times before and even during our fling as what was going on between them as they were always together. She kept telling me that they were just friends and nothing more. I was operating based on whatever knowledge was available to me. There is no question of my conscience here. I wouldn't have gotten involved had i known.

 

Yeah I re read it and it still is the same.

 

You need a crash course in Bro Code. As in you don;t even entertain messing about with anyone your friends may or may not be involved with, even if there is a scintilla of a chance they are.

 

That is a no brainer and it has been code since time immemorial.

 

What I do understand all too well is your desire to absolve yourself of any culpability and blame it all on the Tailfeathers that were being shaken in your face. You were mezmerized by her..she was hot, she was right there...she was....(insert whatever she was next)

 

Yeah, I get it. It's all her fault and you had a magic lamp in your pants that needed to be rubbed and you fell into her.

 

I'll tell you ,Aladdin,you are not the first to cone here with this conundrum, and you won't be the last. But like every other one that has come here in the last 9 years, it just happened and you should not be subjected to any consequence due to the onset of "Situational Naivete".

 

Others will be along that will support your latest malady, of that I'm confident.

 

Good Luck.

[streetmaniac]

Yeah I re read it and it still is the same.

 

You need a crash course in Bro Code. As in you don;t even entertain messing about with anyone your friends may or may not be involved with, even if there is a scintilla of a chance they are.

 

That is a no brainer and it has been code since time immemorial.

 

What I do understand all too well is your desire to absolve yourself of any culpability and blame it all on the Tailfeathers that were being shaken in your face. You were mezmerized by her..she was hot, she was right there...she was....(insert whatever she was next)

 

Yeah, I get it. It's all her fault and you had a magic lamp in your pants that needed to be rubbed and you fell into her.

 

I'll tell you ,Aladdin,you are not the first to cone here with this conundrum, and you won't be the last. But like every other one that has come here in the last 9 years, it just happened and you should not be subjected to any consequence due to the onset of "Situational Naivete".

 

Others will be along that will support your latest malady, of that I'm confident.

 

Good Luck.

 

I wasn't aware that the bro code involves not sleeping with a girl who the guy and the girl both claim are just friends with each other. I took " just friends" as just friends. Besides this guy is more of an acquaintance.

 

Also, it will be great if instead of berating me, you could assist me in deciding the future course of action.Thanks

[road]

I am not sure if they were exclusive or not but they were certainly involved and were unofficially in a relationship. It is a strong possibility that they were exclusive.

 

My intention here is not to get them to break up. The outcome is not my concern. I just want him to KNOW. What he does with this knowledge is not my concern at all.

 

If they do not mean a thing to you and

you will never see them again after 20 days

then why are you caring now?

 

You did not care about them when you banged her.

 

This guy friend appears to be no more then an acquaintance.

So forget them and ride into the sunset in 20 days from now,

say nothing and forget them.

 

Why are you getting all emo, and righteous now?

[d0nnivain]

As for the guy, we aren't such close friends anyway. In fact me and girl became better friends during our little fling even though i met her through him.

 

Anyways, the classes i am attending with these guys will get over in 20 days and after that i may never see them again. So I am not concerned about our equation really.

 

My intention here is not to get them to break up. The outcome is not my concern. I just want him to KNOW. What he does with this knowledge is not my concern at all.

 

We aren't close friends.

 

Even I want to let it go but the idea of letting her go scot free with this and poor guy getting serious about a girl like this makes me wonder...

 

This guy is an acquaintance, not your BFF. In 3 weeks you will never see either of them again. The more you explain the more this sounds like sour grapes -- she picked him over you & you want to punish her.

 

Stay out of it.

 

She knows what she did. She's not proud of it which is why she hangs her head when she sees you.

 

Again you don't KNOW that she cheated. You said you didn't know they were dating & it was on the DL. Now they are official. If she slept with you now, it would be a problem. Then . . .while she might have been multi-dating . . . you have no proof that she wasn't morally free to do just that.

 

Leave these people alone. Pay attention to the professor in class. Keep your nose in your text book. Then get on with your life & stop bothering about these people.

[OptimismHopeTrust]

I read your post a couple of times. Sorry that this happened...I am sure it was hurtful and surprising. When I first read through your post the second time, I was going to suggest that you consider the depth of your friendship with this guy and that might give you clarity on whether you should speak with him. The conversation would probably go well if you were close and had a relationship of trust and some history. But then I read your comment in response to a reply post that said

"Anyways, the classes i am attending with these guys will get over in 20 days and after that i may never see them again. So I am not concerned about our equation really." and that you are not really speaking to her.....

 

If this guy was a close friend, he would have questioned you as to why you are not speaking with his girlfriend......but it doesn't sound like this has happened.

 

And since you don't think you will ever see them again, it sounds like you are not close friends. It doesn't sound like you have a lot of connection with each other if the relationship is temporary.

 

So, you might want to give this some thought. I think you have your answer. It would be hard to expect trust with someone where trust is not established. It might be worth thinking about letting this go and being more cautious next time.....but ultimately, it is your choice. Just be prepared that your message may not be received if you decide to have a conversation.

[streetmaniac]

If they do not mean a thing to you and

you will never see them again after 20 days

then why are you caring now?

 

You did not care about them when you banged her.

 

This guy friend appears to be no more then an acquaintance.

So forget them and ride into the sunset in 20 days from now,

say nothing and forget them.

 

Why are you getting all emo, and righteous now?

 

My friend, because when I was banging her, I was told that they were just friends. i did not wish to get involved with her if they were anything more. It's just a few days ago that I ve found out that they were more than friends and have in fact made their relationship official just now.

 

Thanks for your opinion.

[streetmaniac]

This guy is an acquaintance, not your BFF. In 3 weeks you will never see either of them again. The more you explain the more this sounds like sour grapes -- she picked him over you & you want to punish her.

 

Stay out of it.

 

She knows what she did. She's not proud of it which is why she hangs her head when she sees you.

 

Again you don't KNOW that she cheated. You said you didn't know they were dating & it was on the DL. Now they are official. If she slept with you now, it would be a problem. Then . . .while she might have been multi-dating . . . you have no proof that she wasn't morally free to do just that.

 

Leave these people alone. Pay attention to the professor in class. Keep your nose in your text book. Then get on with your life & stop bothering about these people.

 

Seems like a good idea. It will also make me seem like a stronger man if I let it go.

 

Just that letting her get away with this seems like you are allowing injustice to happen.

 

Another truth is that I am really hurt over all this. I really started liking her over that period. She lied to me saying that she recently got out of a LTR so she doesn't want to date for now and only wants a fling. She chased me. Now to find out that she was in a relationship with this guy all along makes me feel fooled and used. Besides, that guy doesn't know that she was using his place for our liaisons. Just seems so wrong to let it all go.

Edited September 30, 2017 by streetmaniac

[road]

Seems like a good idea. It will also make me seem like a stronger man if I let it go.

 

Just that letting her get away with this seems like you are allowing injustice to happen.

 

Another truth is that I am really hurt over all this. I really started liking her over that period. She lied to me saying that she recently got out of a LTR so she doesn't want to date for now and only wants a fling. She chased me. Now to find out that she was in a relationship with this guy all along makes me feel fooled and used. Besides, that guy doesn't know that she was using his place for our liaisons. Just seems so wrong to let it all go.

 

You come her saying that they were not in a

relationship when you did her and then you are

now saying they were.

 

Truth is you wanted her. You had your shot at her

and she then picked someone else. Now you want

revenge. Just because she dumped you. Going into

this she told she did not want a relationship with you

just some casual fun.

 

She never made you a promise or committed to you.

You win some and you lose some. Time to learn how

lose with grace.

[streetmaniac]

You come her saying that they were not in a

relationship when you did her and then you are

now saying they were.

 

Truth is you wanted her. You had your shot at her

and she then picked someone else. Now you want

revenge. Just because she dumped you. Going into

this she told she did not want a relationship with you

just some casual fun.

 

She never made you a promise or committed to you.

You win some and you lose some. Time to learn how

lose with grace.

 

They were in a relationship all along. They just hadn't made it official. Not sure if they were exclusive or not. Their pre-official relationship status is not very clear.

 

But yeah, I am thinking that I will let it go, unless one day he comes and asks. Then i wont hold back.

Edited September 30, 2017 by streetmaniac

[Darren Steez]

 

The worst thing is that she did all this with me at his place in his bed behind his back. In fact one day she did stuff with me while he was sleeping on a bed passed out drunk right next to her. she even asked me to **** her right there but i refused. We would even hang out behind his back.

 

 

 

I'm sort of not buying this.

 

a) Even if they were not officially dating one of them..most probably the dude would have made it clear by action that something was going on between them

 

 

but

 

b) Even is nothing was going on, why the need to go behind his back and wait until he was passed out drunk? No doubt you didn't openly flirt with her or come on to her around him when he was sober so you knew there was something going on.