The odds on this working!,

[caring guy]

My pain is fresh & hurting, so please forgive me for wallowing & jelousy,but i am! Afterall, isn't this the place to do it.

 

Me & my recently seperated are 30, she has 2 kids age 6 & 10.

She has them everynight & every other weekend! Soon she will be attending Uni 9-5 & then thaere's her homework & kids to look after. Before we split, i was going to take them & pick up from school, do house work & cook etc. She thought a problem though would be when she gets in & i want to see her, kiss, cuddles, etc & she's got homework. I'd be putting kids to bed, giving them attention etc! I want this, my days of going out all time are over!

I nderstand this told her it would be cool, the only real time we would have is at weekends & every other one with the kids. I have given her my 100% comitment, loyalty & love, the kids love me loads too.

 

Now whats the odds on this working.

She's got a guy age 22, who likes (on his msn profile) WOMEN, beer,wine, spirits, & i assume going out lots, he's 22 & a guy, ex bar manager, likes bars! She don't like bars & drinking.

Is he going to want to comit to lots of nights in & only being with my ex alone 1 weekend every fortnight & she says she will only see him at weekends when at Uni. When i was 22, i wanted to be free & play the field, will he want to tie himself down. Screaming kids, tantrums, as i know happen, from 17 months experience, it took ages for me to get used to it!

 

She is good looking, is it just a fling, she sees him as having more to offer than me,as he's a money type guy, but she isn't that stupid to think all will be roses just because he has a descent job.

Would you want to comit to a girl of 30 with 2 kids that aren't your own, when there's all those single girls out there, his age! I didn't think she'd be so blind to see that he wouldn't be around long.

 

Now i know i'm wanting her back & i know i maybe wanting to hear that it wouldn't work, but all my mates say 'give it 6 weeks etc!,a flash in the pan,what do you think.

CG

[A Fly onThe Wall]

I give it better odds than you have on getting her back...

 

Let her go dude..

 

Even if it fails.. You will still be on the outs and still hurting..

 

Nut up.. Act like a man

[alphamale]

i think u were too accomodating and too nice to her. many women don't like that and see it as a sign of weakness. you were going to rearrange your entire life for her and that's not a good idea.

[Cecelius]

Exactly -- this guy is going to put the greasy love balm on her in the motel 6 and then walk when he sees the kids. She will then promptly fall in love with him.

 

You do not want her back.

[caring guy]

Cecilius

I don't get you, you mean he's going to screw her, have his way & then when he sees the kids, he's going to bolt & because he's going to do this, she'l fall in love with him for treating her bad!

Fly:

I hear you doing it for my best interest, but the quote "better the devil you know, than the one you don't" . When he fu_ks her off, she'll not miss what she had, as i was a shmuck, but be more liking towards the me that she likes!

Alpha:

I didn't have much of a life, a sh_te job, etc, me doing this with her Uni was something we both agreed was good for both of us!

 

I'm just not the type of guy that can take this so easy, 2 weeks ago we were getting back on track, nice walks in country, kissing, intimacy & then this!

Yes, i'm open to whatever else comes along, jeez, i was looking at other girls & weighing up my pros & cons whilst with her, as i didn't know what i want!

 

She said to me, i wasn't showing her she was special, making an effort to dress up when going out, not romancing her enough & showing i cared.

I messed up a previous relationship because i was too needy & obsessed, so i thought i'd be different this time, it was only after i got the vibe of it ending, that i realy showed to be accomodating, she aws after engagement, moving in, after 2 months, it was too much, i now know thats what i wanted!

[sburtug03]

You could not possibly be any nicer to her and yet she still does not want you. This is your answer, I am sorry to say. Find someone who will love and care for you just as much as you did for her. So many women would love to find a person who cares so much for them. Find them and leave this woman completely and utterly alone. x

[caring guy]

The extent of my issues that caused the massive low in our relatinship & therefore drove her to find somekind of happiness (unplanned) from another.

I had a drink problem that made me, uncaring, cold, took her for granted, sometimes i lyed to her & drank, had chance after chance, i just was so, so complacent!

I suffer anxiety, am on medication, i now have stopped drinking (1month now) & feel much better, but alas, currently she's not here to reep the benefits.

This guys lack of issues has swayed her & all was lost. We met once & argued as it was too soon!

I then instigated NC rule & she called me, ok we have stuff of each others & thought she just wnated to exchange, but we met, she was confused as to what she wanted, what i do know is that she doesn't want me totally out of her life as her kids love me & there's a 'me' that she loves & believes will be there 100% of the time, instead of occasionally.

We met & allwent ok, still lts of way to go, she's still having her fling, as she feels she can't end it as she sees him as more to offer for a fruitful future, enjoys money, but she's leaving the door open for me to eradicate my problems, slowly, as she ants me to prove to her & wants a future with me. I'm no mugg, but i love her & i want her bacK!, i don't want to live in regret! & the pain that i feel for being responsible for this situation!