trust or not

[Crazelnut]

Why are you asking us? You know he’s a liar and a cheater. But you seem perfectly fine with that, so why are you asking us?

[Vivir]

Hi shelley72, in your first sentence, it seems you keyed into how other posters noted that he only phones once a week by responding that sometimes he does something more...

 

In your second sentence, you tell us you have offered him this statement as an "out" and "he says he has no intention of ending what [you two] have."

 

First and foremost, this response he gave you is a rejection disguised as as something else, like acceptance of you into his romantic life, but only on certain terms. The terms are daily texting, once or twice a week visits (with limitations), and once a week calling. THIS is what he's offering to you, if you want to be in his life.

 

I fell for it, too, until I examined what such a sentence meant: he had no intention of offering me more than what we had. He had no intention of being denied what he was already getting. That meant those wonderful nights out on the town I had dreamed of were never going to happen; he was never going to spend the night EVER; he couldn't see me in the hospital if I had an emergency; we wouldn't go walking in the park; we wouldn't progress into anything more... and, on top of that, how dare I even fix my mouth to say we couldn't talk or have sex anymore! How dare I! Who did I think I was? Some woman worthy of his actual love and affection that he had previously obligated away to someone else... Please! >note sarcasm here<

 

This is YOUR MM.

 

You'll have to search within yourself to determine if you're happy with these terms or if you want to renegotiate. You may have to tear up your verbal contract and walk away from the table with nothing or even less than you came with (like me).

 

sometimes i see him twice weekly he phones me once week too and texts me everyday

 

i also have said to him if you want to end this than go ahead and lets move on and he says he has no intention of ending what we have

 

((((shelley72)))) Hugs to you, because, unfortunately, the above is par for the course. MandoGirl has advised that these examples of his effort are not indicative of a full-fledged relationship. If you are like me, and thus, more unaware than not of what a full-fledged relationship looks like, breadcrumbs of attention from the objects of our affection will seem like a loaf of bread, to be sure.

 

For me, xMM tied up my phone line during the entirety of our work day EVERY DAY. If I had let him, he would have been in my home every day of the work week, too. None of this meant anything.

 

He was still leaving me to go home to someone else - someone he was providing for, legally obligated to of his own recognizance, etc.

 

He was slotting me in when it did NOT infringe upon his REAL life.

 

I am sorry you are going through this. But I definitely agree with eye of the storm here: you found this site, registered, posted... your basic instincts are screaming at you. You know this situation is not quite right, not what you actually want or need. I believe your query is a fire starting on your path to enlightenment and that... you will be looking for a way to end this in the near future for your own sanity.

 

Wishing you peace and support on your journey, because this part of the journey is not fun, but it is necessary and in the long run, it is what's best FOR YOU (not him) and is what matters most. (Gosh, that was a run-on sentence...)

Edited October 5, 2017 by Vivir

[sandylee1]

Yes you can trust him.....100% ....... to tell you lies.