When to talk about the future

[Redguitar5]

I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years and recently moved in together. We have been through a lot, and we almost broke up almost a year ago, when he said he wasnt sure when he would be ready for marriage ( he was having a hard time finding a well paying job). However, in the recent months he has found a great job that pays well, and a few months ago he said he doesnt want wait forever before marriage and having kids.

 

At that time I asked him about how he would want to raise children, and we both agreed on the subject. For example, I have a strong desire for my children to go to college and get a great education, he also wants that. However, I asked him again yesterday and he was growing frustrated because I asked him this question before. He feels i ask similar questions before, and is frustrated that i'm not listening.

 

How should you talk about the future with your partner? When should you talk about it? He also stated while he has his opinion now, he doesnt have children yet and doesnt know what will change.

Edited October 4, 2017 by Redguitar5

[olivetree]

Personally I would want to know we are in the same page and talking about the future before moving in together.

I would only want to live with someone that wants the same things in life and a relationship and wants them with me.

 

You've already moved in together.

It's still fine to have the talk, but it will make it harder to break up if you're not on the same page.

Just tell him what you want and see if he wants the same things as you and if he wants that with you.

[scatteredmusician]

I don’t know, I am not a proponent of living together so I guess I have a bias. However, since you’re in the situation now I would say you don’t have a lot of input in what happens. It seems to me the ball is in his court completely. You want to be married, he doesn’t, at least for now. Will he change his mind? He is right, you’ve already discussed the questions. You ask him because you want a different answer. He didn’t give it to you and so all you can do now is wait. Wait for him to make up his mind. You have to decide if it is worth the wait. Are you really on the same page? Only you have that answer. Good luck and best wishes.