Has Anyone Ever Told The W and What was The Reaction?

[CuriousCat]

Just curious........has any OW ever told the wife about her husband's affair (out of jealousy, rage, etc.) and what was the reaction?

[DepressedWaiting]

This is something I am very curious about myself...

 

I truly wonder what percentage of wives out there divorce their husbands upon discovery or what the outcome was.

[StillHurtin]

I'm not an OW, but the BS. The OW wasn't the person who told me about the A, my H finally came out w/ the truth after months of lying about it.

 

I did call the OW but she denied it. I flat out asked her what was going on between her and my H as I heard rumors. She laughed and said nothing, they were just friends and asked me why the rumors had to be about her, why couldn't it be the other woman that worked for H. She just thought it was hilarious I was calling her and asking her what was going on. I really don't know if their was a PA going on at the time, but there was def an emotional A. She told me that my H was depressed, having second thought about filing for a D (he filed for a D saying we were both unhappy). She said she would talk to H about not going ahead w/ the D, blah, blah, blah. I told her until he knew what he wanted if she would respect my wishes and leave him alone until he knew what he wanted, our M or the D. Well, she didn't respect my wishes, why should she? She didn't care what I wanted. She wanted my H and she was going to go after him regardless of what I said to her.

 

I called her a second time b/c a good friend of mine heard they were at a fast food rest together. She said she never eats there. I told her I didn't care what her and my H did after the D was final but to plz wait until our M had def ended b4 she continued anything w/ my H (H was still having second thoughts, we were still talking about not getting D but staying seperated).

 

Third time I called her I wasn't nice, at all. H called me and told me that he picked her up at the car dealership and took her back to work as she had no ride, her car was in the repair shop so he offered to pick her up and bring her back to work. He told me he wanted to let me know b4 I heard it from someone else.

I really let H have it. I told him I was calling her. He told me not to, we argued. I hung up and called her at work. When I asked "Is T there?" not knowing it was her that answered. She started laughing hysterically. She knew it was me. She knew H told me about the ride. I told her "Didn't I tell you to stay the f@ck away from my H until this D was final!?!?" She hung up on me, lol. That day I got a call from my lawyer that he had a letter from H's lawyer I needed to come read. My precious H's lawyer wrote my lawyer letter that stated "If your client contacts Mrs. S again she will take legal action." I LMAO in my lawyers office. My H was protecting his little GF from me. If she couldn't stand the heat, then she shouldn't be f@cking a MM. I can sit back and laugh about all of it now.

 

My H and I have been back 2gether for 2 years. He broke it off w/ the OW. He said he didn't know what the he!! was wrong w/ him, he was stupid for risking our M b/c of her. At first I wasn't going to take him back but I had to give it another chance. I didn't want to give up on what the future could hold for us. I know he made a HUGE mistake, and I forgave him. BUT I will NEVER EVER give him a third chance if he does this again. And my dad, and my brothers told me if he ever does this again, they will kick his a$$ (well, not really, just their choice of words but I can tell you H wont want to know what happens if he does this again.)

[smile95]

my friend told her BF's W. She left him and now he cheats on her! So she won him, but now she is in the position of being cheated on. With him, it will never stop! It took a yr for him to leave the W after begging her to take him back, but she refused(after stalking my friend and showing up at her work and calling). Both the women found out A LOT of lies he told them both!

[2Confuzed]

I've thought about calling his wife. However, most likely it would get turned around on me. I've heard way too often how the OW calls the MM's wife and 1) She doesn't believe her husband is cheating on her so she thinks you're a liar trying to start trouble 2) He acts like the OW was stalking him and he was an unsuspecting victim 3) He denies all of it and you get a call from the wife with the MM in the background while she's telling you to leave her husband alone. Ultimately, the OW looks like the instigator and then the MM never talks to the OW again. In reality, it probably brings the married couple together. So I would say, don't do it. Just walk away. He is the one that has to live with the guilt of what he did everyday. Don't waste your time, I know I won't.

[New_Wife]

I was the wife. The OW sent him something bizarre in the mail and I opened it. I had so much heartache over even opening his mail - I called my best friend for advice before I did it. I knew something was going on, but I didn't know what. Seing clearly feminine handwriting on an envelope with no return address sent off alarms left and right.

 

When I did open it, all I had was more questions than answers. I ended up looking through his old paperwork and found her phone number. She didn't want to talk to me at first, but eventually she did. We both cried - as you can imagine, he hadn't been telling her the truth either. She thought he slept on the couch and our marraige was a drunken mistake. She did not know I was 8 months pregnant, and thought all was well. She drove 2 hours to our house to confront him together.

 

I'd like to say we both got smart at that point and left him alone. Sadly, as any reader of the LS can tell you, that was not what happened. It took about 5 more years for me and who knows how many for her. She may still be involved with him, I have no clue. He fathered 2 children other than our 2 in our marriage, and brought home a disease at least once.

 

Looking back, I can't say I harbor any ill will toward her. She was a victim every bit as much as I was. I don't really have a lot of hatred towards him - mostly I feel like his whole life is really just sad. I can't imagine never feeling genuine concern or love for another human - just trying to see what you could get out of them.

[ww]

Actually yes.

I stalked the poor lady for months just to get the right moment.And I`ve got her at the supermarket and I stopped her and said: Hello, lemme introduce myself: I am the obligation your H is working hard on every those nights he stays late at work. Geeeeez you look so nice! Not as bitchy as he describes you all the time. My gosh u look almost human. I am amazed. Anyway you shouldn`t be worried for him when he is late at work, don`t call him on phone. He is doing fine and is in good hands.

 

We became friends with wife. I guess because of my honesty.At the moment we are having an affair and we are trying to get rid of the Husband ( in the mean time he became a third wheel ...annoying one too )

 

The moral of the story: DON`T TRUST ANYTHING THAT BLEEDS FOR 5 DAYS AND DOESN`T DIE.

 

 

Has Anyone Ever Told The W and What was The Reaction?

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR F****NG MIND??????

[CuriousCat]

WW: You and the wife are having an affair? Did I read that correctly?

 

It's so interesting to hear the outcome of this question I posted. So many posts are of the OW feeling hurt, betrayed, the MM never leaving....yet most ladies do not tell the wife about the affair.

[Marie1973]

WW

 

Is that story true?

 

ARe u really having an affair with the wife now??

[ww]

[lynnspies1]

:lmao:

 

Oh my God, that is the first time I have laughed in a while, Thanks WW.

 

Lynn

[starreyes]

ww:

 

That is the best on here so far!!!!

[Shana]

Originally posted by StillHurtin

I'm not an OW, but the BS. The OW wasn't the person who told me about the A, my H finally came out w/ the truth after months of lying about it.

 

I did call the OW but she denied it. I flat out asked her what was going on between her and my H as I heard rumors. She laughed and said nothing, they were just friends and asked me why the rumors had to be about her, why couldn't it be the other woman that worked for H. She just thought it was hilarious I was calling her and asking her what was going on. I really don't know if their was a PA going on at the time, but there was def an emotional A. She told me that my H was depressed, having second thought about filing for a D (he filed for a D saying we were both unhappy). She said she would talk to H about not going ahead w/ the D, blah, blah, blah. I told her until he knew what he wanted if she would respect my wishes and leave him alone until he knew what he wanted, our M or the D. Well, she didn't respect my wishes, why should she? She didn't care what I wanted. She wanted my H and she was going to go after him regardless of what I said to her.

 

I called her a second time b/c a good friend of mine heard they were at a fast food rest together. She said she never eats there. I told her I didn't care what her and my H did after the D was final but to plz wait until our M had def ended b4 she continued anything w/ my H (H was still having second thoughts, we were still talking about not getting D but staying seperated).

 

Third time I called her I wasn't nice, at all. H called me and told me that he picked her up at the car dealership and took her back to work as she had no ride, her car was in the repair shop so he offered to pick her up and bring her back to work. He told me he wanted to let me know b4 I heard it from someone else.

I really let H have it. I told him I was calling her. He told me not to, we argued. I hung up and called her at work. When I asked "Is T there?" not knowing it was her that answered. She started laughing hysterically. She knew it was me. She knew H told me about the ride. I told her "Didn't I tell you to stay the f@ck away from my H until this D was final!?!?" She hung up on me, lol. That day I got a call from my lawyer that he had a letter from H's lawyer I needed to come read. My precious H's lawyer wrote my lawyer letter that stated "If your client contacts Mrs. S again she will take legal action." I LMAO in my lawyers office. My H was protecting his little GF from me. If she couldn't stand the heat, then she shouldn't be f@cking a MM. I can sit back and laugh about all of it now.

 

My H and I have been back 2gether for 2 years. He broke it off w/ the OW. He said he didn't know what the he!! was wrong w/ him, he was stupid for risking our M b/c of her. At first I wasn't going to take him back but I had to give it another chance. I didn't want to give up on what the future could hold for us. I know he made a HUGE mistake, and I forgave him. BUT I will NEVER EVER give him a third chance if he does this again. And my dad, and my brothers told me if he ever does this again, they will kick his a$$ (well, not really, just their choice of words but I can tell you H wont want to know what happens if he does this again.)

 

NEVER SAY NEVER... he will do it again. you will take him back again and that's that. Why would you want to be with someone who made you feel like nothing? He was WITH another women and coming home to you for seconds.. wow ..

[Shana]

Originally posted by New_Wife

I was the wife. The OW sent him something bizarre in the mail and I opened it. I had so much heartache over even opening his mail - I called my best friend for advice before I did it. I knew something was going on, but I didn't know what. Seing clearly feminine handwriting on an envelope with no return address sent off alarms left and right.

 

When I did open it, all I had was more questions than answers. I ended up looking through his old paperwork and found her phone number. She didn't want to talk to me at first, but eventually she did. We both cried - as you can imagine, he hadn't been telling her the truth either. She thought he slept on the couch and our marraige was a drunken mistake. She did not know I was 8 months pregnant, and thought all was well. She drove 2 hours to our house to confront him together.

 

I'd like to say we both got smart at that point and left him alone. Sadly, as any reader of the LS can tell you, that was not what happened. It took about 5 more years for me and who knows how many for her. She may still be involved with him, I have no clue. He fathered 2 children other than our 2 in our marriage, and brought home a disease at least once.

 

Looking back, I can't say I harbor any ill will toward her. She was a victim every bit as much as I was. I don't really have a lot of hatred towards him - mostly I feel like his whole life is really just sad. I can't imagine never feeling genuine concern or love for another human - just trying to see what you could get out of them.

 

I applaude you! A sad life he will continue to have..

[StillHurtin]

Originally posted by Shana

NEVER SAY NEVER... he will do it again. you will take him back again and that's that. Why would you want to be with someone who made you feel like nothing? He was WITH another women and coming home to you for seconds.. wow ..

 

Shana,

 

Do you have the capability to look into the future and see all MM/MW cheating again on their spouses? If so, you should use your talent, you would be a zillionaire!

 

 

All sacrasim aside. You don't know if he will cheat again, no one does, but him. I am not going to live my life wondering, worrying, if he is going to cheat on me again. If he does, then I know what I need and must do...divorce him.

 

My H and I were 2gether 13 years and M 11 b4 his A. During his A we were going to through a D. He was going to start his life over w/ the exOW.

 

H and I were having M problems b4 the A and I honestly think we should of seperated at that time. During the time of the A was the first time we had ever been apart. I think he realized that he did want the M, unfortunatly he had to have an A to realize that.

 

AS for me being seconds, lol, I see the exOW as seconds. He chose me to marry, he chose me to have children w/, he chose me to share a life w/. Then the ex OW came around in a trouble time of our M and persued him. Made him feel like a HS boy again and he fell for her charm.

 

B4 the A I was the one who had a talk w/ H about getting a D. I was the one that thinking about a D b/c of his drinking problems, him never being home, blah, blah, blah. I even told him if he didn't quit drinking, start staying home more (instead of going and getting drunk w/ friends) I would leave him. He did quit drinking and has been sober almost 3 years.

 

I don't blame the exOW for all the A, I blame both, but I do blame her for the fact that she persued him for so many years and when our M was getting bad he chose her for comfort. She was always right there wanting to help him w/ our problems. Instead of him talking to me about it, he chose her. And the whole time during the A the exOW knew H was having second thoughts about the D but she continued to go after him. Until he knew what he wanted, me or the D she should of backed off and said that she didn't want a relationship him until he knew what he wanted. Instead she clouded his judgment.

 

Shana, are you the BS or the OW?

[newbby]

Actually yes.

I stalked the poor lady for months just to get the right moment.And I`ve got her at the supermarket and I stopped her and said: Hello, lemme introduce myself: I am the obligation your H is working hard on every those nights he stays late at work. Geeeeez you look so nice! Not as bitchy as he describes you all the time. My gosh u look almost human. I am amazed. Anyway you shouldn`t be worried for him when he is late at work, don`t call him on phone. He is doing fine and is in good hands.

 

We became friends with wife. I guess because of my honesty.At the moment we are having an affair and we are trying to get rid of the Husband ( in the mean time he became a third wheel ...annoying one too )

 

The moral of the story: DON`T TRUST ANYTHING THAT BLEEDS FOR 5 DAYS AND DOESN`T DIE.

 

 

Has Anyone Ever Told The W and What was The Reaction?

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR F****NG MIND??????

 

 

 

ha ha ha ha ha ha

i only just read this

[wifeflylulu]

I was the wife that received the phone call from the OW when Husband tried to stop their affair!

[starreyes]

Originally posted by wifeflylulu

I was the wife that received the phone call from the OW when Husband tried to stop their affair!

 

oh my gosh Wifeflylulu.......and what happened? My friend is considering doing this....

[SoftDrink]

nevermind.

[califlorgian]

Originally posted by ww

Actually yes.

I stalked the poor lady for months just to get the right moment.And I`ve got her at the supermarket and I stopped her and said: Hello, lemme introduce myself: I am the obligation your H is working hard on every those nights he stays late at work. Geeeeez you look so nice! Not as bitchy as he describes you all the time. My gosh u look almost human. I am amazed. Anyway you shouldn`t be worried for him when he is late at work, don`t call him on phone. He is doing fine and is in good hands.

 

We became friends with wife. I guess because of my honesty.At the moment we are having an affair and we are trying to get rid of the Husband ( in the mean time he became a third wheel ...annoying one too )

 

The moral of the story: DON`T TRUST ANYTHING THAT BLEEDS FOR 5 DAYS AND DOESN`T DIE.

 

 

Has Anyone Ever Told The W and What was The Reaction?

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR F****NG MIND??????

 

I don't know if you are trying to bring some levity to this thread or what. But I think that girls who have actually talked with the wife are going to get scared off from writing their experiences by this post. It is definitely usually nothing like that which is described in the quote above.

 

I have spoken with her, several times. Most of those times she was contacting me. She begged me to tell her what was going on the first time I spoke with her. It was so hard for me. We spoke for probably 1-2 hours before I could bring myself to admit to having an affair with him. And it was only after I had found out that he supposedly lied to me about a lot of things. We talked for hours and a little bit here and there afterwards. I never thought she was a bitch before I had met her. He told me she was very sweet. And she was. She asked a lot of questions. I answered. I am not a person who lies. To anyone. Some people might ask me why I didn't just hang up the phone. Well, believe it or not, the ow can actually have some morals and a guilty conscience. When she kept saying to me "I at least deserve to know the truth... don't I deserve this?" and other things of that nature, I felt, in my heart, that I had to.

 

It didn't end the affair between him and I. And my conscience is more guilty than ever. It caused a lot of crap between him and I, yes. He reminds me on a daily basis that is has "only prolonged his departure from his marriage more." Who knows what is going to happen. But one thing is for sure. I am definitely not anything close to some psycho little stalker girl who wants to get revenge on the guy and tell the "horrible bitchy" wife everything. Generalizations are never cool, ww.

[justcallmesnug]

I have thought of telling the W, and I easily could contact her. First of all, she's a witch and I'm sure she would make me feel like crap. Secondly, the MM can have a bad temper and I would be afraid of what his reaction would be. I am sure he would lie about the whole thing, but I have handwritten letters, cards and telephone answering tapes, so I don't think he could really lie, if it came down to having to prove it.

 

What would telling her do anyway? The MM would end up hating me, and she has him whipped into oing whatever she says so she wouldn't get rid of him-No way, no how!

[DepressedWaiting]

I have recorded several telephone conversations of my MM and I. Several very good conversations all on tape.

 

I plan on telling the wife everything including sending her the tapes.

 

This is the only way I can move on with my life. I have tried everything else including no contact for 4 months. My pain just grew worse. In this particular case they have no kids and I know the wife would definitely want to know.

 

I need this closure, I cannot move on knowing MM is getting away with having his cake and eating it too and not paying a consequence. I also know if I were the wife I would most definitely want to know!

 

He has been married for 5 years... he has hade me on the side throughout the entire marriage and the proof is on tape. What do you think his wife will do to him?

 

He is dead meat. I believe she would divorce him and take him for every cent he has.

[mopar crazy]

Originally posted by DepressedWaiting

I have recorded several telephone conversations of my MM and I. Several very good conversations all on tape.

 

I plan on telling the wife everything including sending her the tapes.

 

This is the only way I can move on with my life. I have tried everything else including no contact for 4 months. My pain just grew worse. In this particular case they have no kids and I know the wife would definitely want to know.

 

I need this closure, I cannot move on knowing MM is getting away with having his cake and eating it too and not paying a consequence. I also know if I were the wife I would most definitely want to know!

 

He has been married for 5 years... he has hade me on the side throughout the entire marriage and the proof is on tape. What do you think his wife will do to him?

 

He is dead meat. I believe she would divorce him and take him for every cent he has.

 

That should be an interesting conversation. Do you plan on calling her, talking to her in person, or writing her a letter. If you feel the need to tell her b/c you think she needs to know send her an anonymous letter. Or if you feel the need to talk to do it over the phone but don't tell her who you are and block your number so she doesn't know it's you calling. You don't really know what her reaction will be towards you. She could be aggressive, who knows.

 

When I confronted the exOW I was very calm about it until she disrespected my wishes and continued to see him even when I told her nicely to stop seeing him until the D was final. I told her I didn't give a s*** what her and my H did after our D was final but to plz respect my feelings and not see him anymore until the D was final (H and I were talking about reconciling). She also told me that my H was having second thoughts about the D and was thinking about working on the M but she continued to persue him. I thought we could of been friends when I first met her (a few years b4 the A) but once I found out she was persuing my H I did not like her and tried staying away from her whenever I would go see H at work. That didn't work very well b/c she kept coming over to talk to me, she even gave me hug once. The OW was a great liar, just like H was. I don't think the OW wanted to tell me the truth b/c she either thought H should be the one to do it or she honestly didn't want to hurt me.

[justcallmesnug]

Originally posted by DepressedWaiting

I have recorded several telephone conversations of my MM and I. Several very good conversations all on tape.

 

I plan on telling the wife everything including sending her the tapes.

 

This is the only way I can move on with my life. I have tried everything else including no contact for 4 months. My pain just grew worse. In this particular case they have no kids and I know the wife would definitely want to know.

 

I need this closure, I cannot move on knowing MM is getting away with having his cake and eating it too and not paying a consequence. I also know if I were the wife I would most definitely want to know!

 

He has been married for 5 years... he has hade me on the side throughout the entire marriage and the proof is on tape. What do you think his wife will do to him?

 

He is dead meat. I believe she would divorce him and take him for every cent he has.

 

Is your intent to hurt the MM? Is your intent to hurt the W? You should give this careful thought, and if you decide to do it, it is good that no children are involved. By hurting someone else, will that really take your pain away? Did he start to treat you badly and that is why you are angry? What are your reasons for wanting to tell her? Does he have a temper? Will he come after you? Just wondering...

 

Snug

[justcallmesnug]

Originally posted by DepressedWaiting

I have recorded several telephone conversations of my MM and I. Several very good conversations all on tape.

 

I plan on telling the wife everything including sending her the tapes.

 

This is the only way I can move on with my life. I have tried everything else including no contact for 4 months. My pain just grew worse. In this particular case they have no kids and I know the wife would definitely want to know.

 

I need this closure, I cannot move on knowing MM is getting away with having his cake and eating it too and not paying a consequence. I also know if I were the wife I would most definitely want to know!

 

He has been married for 5 years... he has hade me on the side throughout the entire marriage and the proof is on tape. What do you think his wife will do to him?

 

He is dead meat. I believe she would divorce him and take him for every cent he has.

 

Is your intent to hurt the MM? Is your intent to hurt the W? You should give this careful thought, and if you decide to do it, it is good that no children are involved. By hurting someone else, will that really take your pain away? Did he start to treat you badly and that is why you are angry? What are your reasons for wanting to tell her? Does he have a temper? Will he come after you? Just wondering...

 

Snug