Just ended my affair,... tormented by grief

[Poppy47]

I agree with DKT3.

All this high minded "I choose my husband, I choose my marriage..." has now disintegrated into a diatribe against monogamy?????

 

It is all simply justification for cheating on your husband.

Of course Dday is not on the cards, of course he doesn't need to know, of course he would be very hurt, of course "I will spare him the pain..."

How magnanimous of you...

 

ALL designed to keep the affair under wraps and to keep cake eating with no consequences.

 

I believe some people are at their core monogamous and do not/will not/cannot comprehend cheating/open marriages or any other practices where more than one lover is involved, whilst others are not monogamous and never really will be completely, so cheating is always an option for them.

 

You, I guess are of the latter variety and you really have no business deceiving your husband into thinking all is hunky dory in his world.

Go find a man whose beliefs match your own, set up an open marriage, see and sleep with as many men as you want, but leave your husband to go find a truly loyal woman.

 

(ATM I guess you are now just free wheeling until February, when you will see the OM again...)

 

I feel there is no greater betrayal than denying somebody knowledge of their own life....it is a betrayal of trust and love.

 

Poppy.

[stillafool]

I agree with DKT3.

All this high minded "I choose my husband, I choose my marriage..." has now disintegrated into a diatribe against monogamy?????

 

It is all simply justification for cheating on your husband.

Of course Dday is not on the cards, of course he doesn't need to know, of course he would be very hurt, of course "I will spare him the pain..."

How magnanimous of you...

 

ALL designed to keep the affair under wraps and to keep cake eating with no consequences.

 

I believe some people are at their core monogamous and do not/will not/cannot comprehend cheating/open marriages or any other practices where more than one lover is involved, whilst others are not monogamous and never really will be completely, so cheating is always an option for them.

 

You, I guess are of the latter variety and you really have no business deceiving your husband into thinking all is hunky dory in his world.

Go find a man whose beliefs match your own, set up an open marriage, see and sleep with as many men as you want, but leave your husband to go find a truly loyal woman.

 

(ATM I guess you are now just free wheeling until February, when you will see the OM again...)

 

I also agree with the above. OP, if you want to continue to have sex with different men then do it just be honest with your husband about it. He deserves to know if for no other reason than you putting his health at risk. He may decide he doesn't want you anymore which he is entitled to. You are being selfish by not telling him that you put his health at risk. If you don't want to tell him then divorce him and marry a man who also wants more than once sex partner in marriage or remain single and have all the sex you want with whomever comes along.

[BarbedFenceRider]

Wow, and OP actually brought the word "covenant" into play here...very telling.

 

 

 

>>One man, one woman in holy union in the hope, faith and charity of becoming whole as one.

 

"Not really 2 with side beni's and financial leching..."

 

You are broken inside. Tell your BH so he can be free to make his own choices here....