I'm confused

[Austin]

Here is the deal. I'm getting married in 5 months but I'm not into it like she is. I'm scared that if i feel like this now how is it going to feel afterward. I think that I should be gung-ho for it but I'm not. She knows this because I keep putting things off like getting a hall, invites, finalizing simple things.. In my opinion we fight a lot but she always saying it will get better but I don't see it. Maybe I'm trying to get her to call it off by not doing anythihg. I probably should call it off but I just can't bring myself to do it. I love her but it just doesn't feel right to me. Is this just cold feet or am I really having a problem here. Iwould like to here from a couple of married or getting married people to see if this is not right.

[Tony T]

When you're engaged to someone you love, getting married and spending the rest of your life with that person should be your dream, the thing you want to do more than anything else in the world.

 

I don't think you're in love with this lady, I don't think you want to spend the rest of your life with her, I don't think you're ready to marry anyone, and you better let her know it's NOT going to happen.

 

We are not talking about the senior prom here. WE ARE TALKING MARRIAGE!!! You better get the guts to tell her immediately that you're OUT. No, it won't get any better after you're married, it will get worse.

 

People are always a little nervous about getting married but they still look forward to being together and working through life together in a loving relationship.

 

There is no good reason why this girl should want to marry someone who's not into it and she's pretty stupid if she hasn't sensed your indifference by now. It sounds like she's trying to push marriage onto you and that's a major mistake. She's pretty darn selfish if you ask me, and immature to boot. She's more in love with the idea of being married than in love with you.

 

If you don't state your feelings and cancel this, you are headed for some of the most miserable days of your life on this planet, both before marriage, afterwards, during your divorce, and once it's final.

 

You don't even know the meaning of loneliness, misery, and chaos until you've been in a marriage you don't want to be in...that you aren't excited about.

 

Call her as soon as possible and tell her the engagement's off. If you gave her a ring, let her keep it. It's a small price for saving you from the worst misery a human could ever experience.

 

And never, ever ever ever ever get engaged to anyone unless it's what you want to do more than anything. Why you even got this process started is a puzzle to me.