I feel dumb

[healthyhopes]

Towards the end of the summer, I dated a really nice guy. It was one of the first experiences I had (if not the first) of a perfect dating experience. Until him, the guys I dated I either didn't click with, or we didn't really like each other, or-- USUALLY, they were toxic or abusive in some way. This guy was perfect, extremely nice, and liked me a lot. I felt so warm being with him. He was a total angel.

 

Anyways, we broke it off. He's studying abroad in another country, and after that, he's done with school, and either going to a real job or grad school. I'm still in the states with some years left in undergrad.

 

I feel dumb. I don't know why I dated someone who I know I probably won't see again (he said he'd be home over winter break, and might visit me, but .... I don't know. Holding on to hope never works well with these kinds of things. He's probably just being nice. I really would love to see him, though)

 

We talk every couple of days and I think about him pretty much every day. I find myself putting his facebook profile under "acquaintance" and muting his messenger notifications, and then flipping the switch and going back to to looking at his profile or talking to him (with either him or me starting the conversation). I know I'm young and shouldn't wait for someone who I probably will never see again but I have a feeling that we would have lasted a good amount of time together.

 

I'm considering getting a tindr or being more flirty so that I can find a guy and move on but the prospect of initiating anything (sexual or romantic) makes me nervous and I'm not sure if I'm ready for anything at this point. At the same time, I don't want to waste my college life pining over this person. Ugh!

[fireflyingaway]

Don't be so hard on yourself. Sometimes you can't help who you fall for and nothing is wrong with that.

 

But it's probably best if you stop talking to him...thats the most cliche advice and its hard to do. Trust me, I know, I'm in the middle of it myself...but if you keep in contact with him, your feelings aren't going to go away and it will keep you thinking about him.

 

Wait until you feel open before you venture onto the dating app...those apps make it so easy to find someone to talk to/flirt with, but if your still thinking about this guy, the flirting will just make you feel empty because when its over and you're alone you'll wish you had been talking to him.

 

Yes, you're young, so appreciate the time you had with him and look back on it fondly. Be happy it happened and let him go. Talk to him again when you can just see him as a friend. You'll find someone who is near you and you can have a real relationship with.

[d0nnivain]

You didn't do anything dumb or bad. You met a nice guy. The timing wasn't perfect. But now you know what a good dating relationship feels like so you can create another one.

 

 

Don't bother about the OL stuff. Just do things on campus to meet new people. Part of your undergraduate education should be to socialize. It's the precursor to learning to network as a professional after graduation.