toomanyquestions123 Posted October 11, 2017 Share Posted October 11, 2017 NC: 5 MONTHS Status: X-FIANCE NUMBER OF REBOUNDS: 2 PRE REBOUND DATING STATUS: DOING BETTER POST REBOUND DATING STATUS: MISSING MY EX. In a nutshell, i suddenly after cutting off rebound #2 found myself longing for my ex-fiance. I always used to think or miss him in some parts of the day but it has been 1 week i am thinking a lot of him to the extent i feel like reaching out to him. Ask him how he is doing, since we broke up i know nothinggg about him, where he settled, what is he doing, no social media, no friends in common. He removed all of us from his Instagram ( friends, family ). His best-friend blocked me on Instagram after breakup. I just know nothing about him & i want to know how he has been doing. Please stop me from doing THIS. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 11, 2017 Share Posted October 11, 2017 Delete him & his contact info from all of your devices to reduce the temptation. Then post here rather than contact him. Call a friend. Go for a walk. Clean something. Basically do anything else except drink. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted October 11, 2017 Author Share Posted October 11, 2017 I Just saved his name on his number and checked his whatsapp. He didnt change his pic which is a pic of us together ! he has another phone that he uses it more but why he doesn't change his picture ? i know that he uses this phone as well. Isn't weird ? Link to post Share on other sites
PrincessWarrior1 Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 (edited) I Just saved his name on his number and checked his whatsapp. He didnt change his pic which is a pic of us together ! he has another phone that he uses it more but why he doesn't change his picture ? i know that he uses this phone as well. Isn't weird ? I would think that was weird too, like he still has some attachment. I do a lot of reading: articles, blogs, etc. Found some interesting reading recently. Mainly with men, they block us for a few reasons. Ok, found the article, here it is: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/what-to-do-if-your-ex-boyfriend-blocks-you/ With all due respect, I could never do very well with rebounds. I think rebounds rob the person seeking the comfort and distraction of truly healing, moving on, and finding closure. Even if you secretly hope you'll get back together in the future. The only sure fire way to start over with that person or someone different/better is to be completely over that relationship. You cant really do that in a rebound because you are not focusing on yourself and they could end up making you miss the person, hence the current obsessing. I hope this helps. Edited October 14, 2017 by PrincessWarrior1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted October 16, 2017 Author Share Posted October 16, 2017 I would think that was weird too, like he still has some attachment. I do a lot of reading: articles, blogs, etc. Found some interesting reading recently. Mainly with men, they block us for a few reasons. Ok, found the article, here it is: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/what-to-do-if-your-ex-boyfriend-blocks-you/ With all due respect, I could never do very well with rebounds. I think rebounds rob the person seeking the comfort and distraction of truly healing, moving on, and finding closure. Even if you secretly hope you'll get back together in the future. The only sure fire way to start over with that person or someone different/better is to be completely over that relationship. You cant really do that in a rebound because you are not focusing on yourself and they could end up making you miss the person, hence the current obsessing. I hope this helps. I dont want to read a lot into this but the point is he is also keeping my country local sim card and recharging it abroad. My friend talked to him to say hi, he replied normally & still didnt change the pic. Maybe he does not know that he is still keeping the pic but my friend will ask him why he is keeping the simcard activated. AGAIN, i dont want to read into this, i know he will never come back, i know he is dead to me, but why would he do that? he should remove all of this so he can leave no space in my mind thinking and wondering. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 16, 2017 Share Posted October 16, 2017 Change you phone number, change your accounts where you first made contact. Blocking doesn't mean squat, they can get around the blocks. You have any money got buy some cheap tickets and head out of the country for week. You need a break from everything, everyone and go for it leave.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted October 17, 2017 Author Share Posted October 17, 2017 Change you phone number, change your accounts where you first made contact. Blocking doesn't mean squat, they can get around the blocks. You have any money got buy some cheap tickets and head out of the country for week. You need a break from everything, everyone and go for it leave.. I have my masters thesis to finish in the upcoming months so i cant travel for now & i cant change my number, i have this number since ever. BUT i will not text my ex-fiancé, it was a weak moment but i know i would not do this. He hurt me so bad to reach out to him again. It is pathetic to talk to him again, it is obvious that he is moving on & he does not want any contact with me ( other than why he is keeping my country sim card & our picture on whatsapp ). If he wanted to reach out he would have. It is my time to heal now & to focus on myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Hoosfoos Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 By not texting him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 By not texting him. That was helpful thank you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hercules22 Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 delete the phone number hopefully you dont know it by heart lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fieldoflavender Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 Write a list of the mean things they did to you - and why you guys won't work out. And read it everytime you have an urge. Is that the life you truly want? Link to post Share on other sites
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 I know it wont work out between us, he has this character where he shuts down & this is not healthy for a long term relationship & he doesnt communicate. It is just that i deeply miss him, i miss talking to him, i miss seeing his face, i just do & there is nothing else i can do about it. Maybe i m feeling this way because i didnt have a proper closure; I till now dont know why really we broke up, sometimes i blame myself because i dont know what was the real sole reason. Link to post Share on other sites
fieldoflavender Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 There can be many reasons, but at the end of the day, they're not the right person for you. You may miss them, but do you really miss all that - the shutting down, the lack of communication, the lack of commitment to a relationship? Not really right? Then think about all that, and you will miss him less. We always miss the things we don't have, but when we really think about it, do we REALLY miss it or are we just scared we don't have something comfortable to us? Link to post Share on other sites
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 There can be many reasons, but at the end of the day, they're not the right person for you. You may miss them, but do you really miss all that - the shutting down, the lack of communication, the lack of commitment to a relationship? Not really right? Then think about all that, and you will miss him less. We always miss the things we don't have, but when we really think about it, do we REALLY miss it or are we just scared we don't have something comfortable to us? I think we just miss the idea of it or the feeling of it, but if i think deeply into it, half the time of the relationship i dont think i was that happy, he really was hard to deal with & i should think that we would ended up getting a divorce if we got married. BUT the feeling or the love i had for him wont go away that easily. I truly loved him, i thought he truly loved me to. Our relationship was so special, 2 different nationalities, 2 cultures, different religions. It was a special one & it is over. Link to post Share on other sites
fieldoflavender Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Again, how "special" was it if you guys are in the state that you are in? If it was truly "Special", wouldn't you guys fight harder to be together? Or at least wouldn't your ex fiancé try harder? I'm speaking from experience - I had thought what I had was special, but all the "special" stuff is meaningless, and all the supposed "love" we had thought we shared or even perhaps had shared at one point, so what? You can look at the now - it's done, it's gone, and it's not worthy of continuing, so let it go. Yeah I miss some stuff too especially when rebounds don't work, but I'm not trying to find a rebound, I want someone for the long term, so I'm being more picky. Temporary relief isn't worth it, will sink me back into the fiery pit of misery. WE have to learn to be self-sufficient. That's the only way you won't get screwed over. You can still try to remember good things if it helps you, but not if it will just cause you to obsess over them. Remembering the "good times" causes me more pain than not because it just reminds me of what they were not in the end, and causes me to doubt people more, so what is the point? So I'm trying to let all that go, along with the bad, so I can just move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PrincessWarrior1 Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 By not texting him. Thanks for the laugh this morning. I was like oh god I can't take anymore matters of the heart. Heavy matters... ooof Link to post Share on other sites
PrincessWarrior1 Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 delete the phone number hopefully you dont know it by heart lol yeah like me? Serial killer caller, tryna get shots in .. :lmao::lmao: I'm awful Link to post Share on other sites
PrincessWarrior1 Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 Again, how "special" was it if you guys are in the state that you are in? If it was truly "Special", wouldn't you guys fight harder to be together? Or at least wouldn't your ex fiancé try harder? I'm speaking from experience - I had thought what I had was special, but all the "special" stuff is meaningless, and all the supposed "love" we had thought we shared or even perhaps had shared at one point, so what? You can look at the now - it's done, it's gone, and it's not worthy of continuing, so let it go. Yeah I miss some stuff too especially when rebounds don't work, but I'm not trying to find a rebound, I want someone for the long term, so I'm being more picky. Temporary relief isn't worth it, will sink me back into the fiery pit of misery. WE have to learn to be self-sufficient. That's the only way you won't get screwed over. You can still try to remember good things if it helps you, but not if it will just cause you to obsess over them. Remembering the "good times" causes me more pain than not because it just reminds me of what they were not in the end, and causes me to doubt people more, so what is the point? So I'm trying to let all that go, along with the bad, so I can just move on. This!! 100% Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 Enlist the help of a trusted friend or family member. Give them the password to check your call log online. Every time you text your ex, you owe that family member/friend $50. I did this with my sister. She didn't have my password, but it was an honor system, and it was only when I sent NASTY texts to my ex-H lol! We still had to communicate about the kids. I ended up having to pay her a couple times, but it really did help immensely until I got over all the rage. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted October 23, 2017 Author Share Posted October 23, 2017 Enlist the help of a trusted friend or family member. Give them the password to check your call log online. Every time you text your ex, you owe that family member/friend $50. I did this with my sister. She didn't have my password, but it was an honor system, and it was only when I sent NASTY texts to my ex-H lol! We still had to communicate about the kids. I ended up having to pay her a couple times, but it really did help immensely until I got over all the rage. HAHAHA, what a smart way !! Well i dont think i will ever have the guts to text my ex. He is the one that walked away, i will feel extremely low if i reached out first.I just need some answers, but i guess i will never have them & i need to find them by my own. Time is the best medicine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PrincessWarrior1 Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 $50? I'd be up ****'s creek, lolz Link to post Share on other sites
PrincessWarrior1 Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 Soldier on sweetie. All kidding aside, whether it's drunk dialing or venting or whatever. What I'm learning is that any contact has consequences and I also read alot and learning to control my emotions a little better. Sometimes talking smack "does" help me to move on. Different strokes for different folks i guess.... Link to post Share on other sites
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