ras5568 Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 hey everybody. i have a real problem on my hands. me and my girlfriend had been dating for a little over a year and then i got sent to iraq to serve a year with the national guard. now before all of that i wasnt a perfect boyfriend i was the average 19 20 year old guy , but i have changed since then and grew up alot i give flowers for no reason and do all that stuff. anyways my girlfriend was bad depressed about me leaving and 6 months past by and her grandmother died. that about sent her over. she starts hanging around the wrong people and moves ,later on gets into drugs, and come to find out after i get home she cheated on me. now i tried my best to support her mentally and finacially when i was over there in my free time but i never knew about the drug use and cheating. anyways im back in the states march of 05 and after the lies upon lies she breaks down bit by bit telling me the truth. (which took all of 5 months) but we broke up when i got back i hated her ect. ect. about a month ago we kinda start talking again i mean we had been in love, talked about marriage, and it had been over a 2 year relationship. anways i go on this little trip with her and her family and she opens up to me and tells me how shes still in love with me and that she'd been clean and trying to do right since i got back. so we start back dating. however she still lives in the town that she moved to when i was gone which bothers me considering the guy she cheated on me lives up there, one of her ex's which she is friends with, and the trouble she occasionally runs into up there. but on the trip she seemed so happy and carefree. we get back she goes back to where she lives and she gradually has these mood changes. ive had 2 directions to go in. one get in college and 2 go full time army and move out of state. i choose the army. i tell her and she ask about us, i tell her she can come with me and shes happy about everything it would be a great change for the both of us. but now because of some type of influence from somewhere she dosnt know about moving. she tells me she's scared, that she dosnt even know who she is anymore and has to find out before she can be happy, ect, ect. this is a roller coaster cause 1 minute shes great, happy, calls me comes see me, talks about are future. and then all of a sudden its whoa i dont know about this i do love you but i just have to think. and she dosnt want me to come see her theres allways an exscuse and have yet to introduce me to her friends where she stays which is a whopping 40 minutes from me. she hasnt even been wanting to spend time with me knowing i only have mabe a month here and if she dosnt move with me i wont see her again. so whats the deal? i need some advice bad? am i a fool in love? Link to post Share on other sites
theclash Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 I really feel for you. I think you have to let her know gently but firmly, that she HAS to make her mind up and stick with her decision soon, before its too late Link to post Share on other sites
Author ras5568 Posted August 16, 2005 Author Share Posted August 16, 2005 thanks alot for the advice. Link to post Share on other sites
sundrop Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 She has moved once, I dont understand why she can't move again, especially if she loves you. My advise is, tell her where you stand, either she can move with you and continue your relationship or you need to move on your marry way alone (as much as that will hurt). But is sounds like to me, you have put forth your time and engery into this relationship, it is now her turn to give a little if she truely wants this to work. Link to post Share on other sites
sundrop Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 By the way I admire you for joining the Military. Best of luck with you. You and all Military are in my toughts. Link to post Share on other sites
Jayhawks Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 She cares for you but not enough. She is having second thoughts and you need to back away so she can decide if she really misses you or not. Let her make the decision or she will never forgive you if you try to push her. Good Luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ras5568 Posted August 18, 2005 Author Share Posted August 18, 2005 well hello everybody. today i decided to go visit her you know the whole suprise thing. somthn was telling me to go because of the way she was acting. i have some friends that stay close to her and i called one of them up and she told me all i needed to know plus she had a conversation with my girlfriend while i was on the phone with her (at the my girlfriend now ex didnt know i was on there) but to make a long story short i caught her in a bunch of lies she never did change. and the bad thing about it is that she never would of told me if i never came down. i geuss this is one of the many stories to learn from in life. all that glitters isnt gold........ Link to post Share on other sites
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