So jealous...how some people just have all their sht together

[JuneL]

Very interesting theory and perspective.

 

It's true. the other days, I just learnt about a Hongkong musician who some praised as the only real musician in HK. and I listened to the song "don't cry for me Argentina"and googled who the heck exactly is Evita. all these two died when they were just over 30. They influenced their countries so profoundly and they are still inspired and admired decades later.

 

very interesting analogy and perspective:)

 

Care to share the name of that HK musician?

[JuneL]

 

so I am not even entitled to feel some jealousy? You have no idea what I have been through.

 

(This is in response to JuneL's post)

 

And you know what this girl has been through?

[thefooloftheyear]

First, I'm also puzzled as to why you think getting an almost 60k job is such a huge deal. Second, having good looks may not be such a blessing, as it seems that no matter how hard she has worked, people with your mindset would think she got the job because of her looks. Of course, I hope she has a high EQ and would just ignore jealous amd bitter judgment like yours.

 

 

I need a translator....I have no idea what any of this means...

 

I'll try again...

 

You make it sound like this person has it all and has accomplished feats of epic proportion....I only see it as garden variety stuff that most of the world is able to accomplish without all that much effort......

 

I am not jealous of anyone, nor am I being judgemental of your co worker...I think you are, though...

 

TFY

[basil67]

In my part of the world, a 60k job is not mediocre. I wish I made 60k.

 

Where I live, $60K is below average. Perhaps the starting salary for someone straight out of University. My daughter would be really happy to achieve this as a first job but if my husband earned this, we wouldn't be able to make ends meet.

 

It's a really good underscore on perspective isn't it.

[JuneL]

I need a translator....I have no idea what any of this means...

 

I'll try again...

 

You make it sound like this person has it all and has accomplished feats of epic proportion....I only see it as garden variety stuff that most of the world is able to accomplish without all that much effort......

 

I am not jealous of anyone, nor am I being judgemental of your co worker...I think you are, though...

 

TFY

 

I thought I'm the one who needs a translator!

 

I actually agree with what you said. In my post, the word "you" was directed toward the OP...

[Chilli]

l get where your comin from spring, even if not looks , some people even no looks , just seem to walk on in with everything , but some of us no matter what we have , have to struggle and fight.

My brothers 49 , been a drugo most he's life, wouldn't work in an iron lung , yet my rich sister buys him a house.

But hey , that ain't all , he doesn't like that house so guess what , she's buying him another one , told him to go find something he likes and let her know.

Everywhere he goes people throw themselves at him , it's unbelievable , l've see n it dozens of times.

Yet me and my other brothers all work hard , don;t do drugs , , nothin !

That's just an example and nothing to do with the blonde l know but , just sayin.

[thefooloftheyear]

I thought I'm the one who needs a translator!

 

I actually agree with what you said. In my post, the word "you" was directed toward the OP...

 

 

I see what I did...What a dope(me).......Sorry bout that!

 

TFY

[elaine567]

I need a translator....I have no idea what any of this means...

 

I'll try again...

 

You make it sound like this person has it all and has accomplished feats of epic proportion....I only see it as garden variety stuff that most of the world is able to accomplish without all that much effort......

 

I am not jealous of anyone, nor am I being judgemental of your co worker...I think you are, though...

 

TFY

 

Well it is all a matter of perspective.

YOU may think this 60K job is no big deal, but we do not know where the OP is in the scheme of things.

Her qualifications have NOT yet landed her a 60K permanent job and depending on her talent and ability to impress, may in fact never land her that job.

All very well to diss the op as a jealous, bitter and "judgemental" woman, but not everyone is a superstar, not everyone has the actual ability to be a success in life.

 

She is probably right that this woman with her curly blond, blue-eyed good looks has been elevated beyond her worth, it happens all the time...

[thefooloftheyear]

Well it is all a matter of perspective.

YOU may think this 60K job is no big deal, but we do not know where the OP is in the scheme of things.

Her qualifications have NOT yet landed her a 60K permanent job and depending on her talent and ability to impress, may in fact never land her that job.

All very well to diss the op as a jealous, bitter and "judgemental" woman, but not everyone is a superstar, not everyone has the actual ability to be a success in life.

 

She is probably right that this woman with her curly blond, blue-eyed good looks has been elevated beyond her worth, it happens all the time...

 

The thread got convoluted, because I mistakenly quoted the wrong poster(thinking it was the OP)....

The reality is that no one knows...

 

I think more people cry in their beer about what good looking people "get handed to them", when they don't realize that those people actually are maybe just more qualified, have a unique skill set, or are a better fit for that particular job..

 

And I'll say this as well...

 

One of the biggest misconceptions the clock punchers make is this concept that employers hire people based on their jawline, physique, their enormous breasts,, or any other superficial characteristic...Well, for the most part, that really applies to only those people where appearance is vital to their job..even then it's not set in stone....The vast majority of employers would sooner hire a chimpanzee than an attractive person, if they can do the job better and more efficiently...

 

Remember....."It's a poor craftsman that sits around complaining of their tools"

 

 

TFY

Edited October 14, 2017 by thefooloftheyear

[elaine567]

OK in a perfect world perhaps but

Studies have shown that attractive people are usually hired sooner, get promotions more quickly, and are paid more than their less-attractive coworkers.

Attractive people earn an average of 3 or 4 percent more than people with below-average looks..

Attractive People Are More Successful - Business Insider.

[knabe]

Here's a question:

 

Does complaining change anything?

[thefooloftheyear]

OK in a perfect world perhaps but

 

I guess no one gave that study to Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey(an obese black woman no less), etc...

 

 

Again...

 

"a poor craftsman blames his tools..."

 

TFY

[elaine567]

I guess no one gave that study to Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey(an obese black woman no less), etc...

 

 

Again...

 

"a poor craftsman blames his tools..."

 

TFY

 

The OP is not blaming her tools, she is better qualified and educated than her undergraduate colleague.

She is now observing first-hand the unfairness of life.

 

Oprah Winfrey hasn't always been obese and has always been a very attractive black woman too, had she truly been an unattractive woman she would never have been given air time. Oprah Winfrey won the Miss Black Tennessee Beauty Pageant at the age of 17...

 

If Bill Gates had had a more attractive, identically advantaged competitor in the tech field, then I guess we would never have heard of him.

[thefooloftheyear]

The OP is not blaming her tools, she is better qualified and educated than her undergraduate colleague.

She is now observing first-hand the unfairness of life.

 

Oprah Winfrey hasn't always been obese and has always been a very attractive black woman too, had she truly been an unattractive woman she would never have been given air time. Oprah Winfrey won the Miss Black Tennessee Beauty Pageant at the age of 17...

 

If Bill Gates had had a more attractive, identically advantaged competitor in the tech field, then I guess we would never have heard of him.

 

Education doesn't tell the whole story....You are making judgements about a scenario, without knowing all the facts..

 

She says she's "better", so you are buying that....so be it...

 

If I took all the handicaps I started with in my life, id be sitting in Riker's Island, dead, or sitting in some bar someplace, crying about how unfair the world is...I chose not to....period..

 

TFY

[Springsummer]

Well it is all a matter of perspective.

YOU may think this 60K job is no big deal, but we do not know where the OP is in the scheme of things.

Her qualifications have NOT yet landed her a 60K permanent job and depending on her talent and ability to impress, may in fact never land her that job.

All very well to diss the op as a jealous, bitter and "judgemental" woman, but not everyone is a superstar, not everyone has the actual ability to be a success in life.

 

She is probably right that this woman with her curly blond, blue-eyed good looks has been elevated beyond her worth, it happens all the time...

 

You are making too much assumptions and judgement.

 

I already said in my first I don't care her pay now, which I also repeated a couple of time. I am making $400 a day, but was told I am the lowest paid consultant, and my contract end yr end. I am in a couple of qualified gov. candidate pools that pay at least 10K more than hers.

 

but, but...I am so much older than her:) I couldn't got what she got when I was her age:) In fact, my employment was full of obstacles.

 

there is an Indian guy (as India, not native)on a full time contract, and he has been trying and interviewing non stop to get a perm job to no avail. He already graduated 1 yr ago! He was born in Canada, so he is fluent in English and speak French. Unlike me, who only immigrated here after high school.

 

it is not easy for him as well, it seems. so what's the difference?

 

don't tell me a tiny minority woman who speak English as a second language will have the equal footing as a white, tall beautiful native blonde.

[elaine567]

You are making too much assumptions and judgement.

 

I already said in my first I don't care her pay now, which I also repeated a couple of time. I am making $400 a day, but was told I am the lowest paid consultant, and my contract end yr end. I am in a couple of qualified gov. candidate pools that pay at least 10K more than hers.

 

but, but...I am so much older than her:) I couldn't got what she got when I was her age:) In fact, my employment was full of obstacles.

 

there is an Indian guy (as India, not native)on a full time contract, and he has been trying and interviewing non stop to get a perm job to no avail. He already graduated 1 yr ago! He was born in Canada, so he is fluent in English and speak French. Unlike me, who only immigrated here after high school.

 

it is not easy for him as well, it seems. so what's the difference?

 

don't tell me a tiny minority woman who speak English as a second language will have the equal footing as a white, tall beautiful native blonde.

 

I am not actually sure why you are berating me, when I am essentially defending you and agreeing with you.

[Springsummer]

I am not actually sure why you are berating me, when I am essentially defending you and agreeing with you.

 

I am not berating you. I am just saying you were making assumption. I am not competing with her. We are not even in the exact same field. I am just saying life works out so smooth for her. The same can't be said for other people.

 

when I said she has all her sht together. I didn't just say/envy her look, but also her ability to manage her life and career.

 

I am an erroneous person who often make all kinds of mistakes. but some people just don't really make mistakes or much less than others.

[Chilli]

Yeah thats true , or when they do make mistakes they somehow just effortlessly still land on their feet anyway as if it never happened.

[Chilli]

Just reading some other threads women admitting they hired guys because they were good lookin , wow what a surprise, not !.

 

Who knows with this one but if she's half decent at her job then good lookin people around any business helps especially if it's a service type industry of any kind.

 

Didn't they also take on a heap of all good lookin young guys. Lady hire manager no less

[Springsummer]

The vast majority of employers would sooner hire a chimpanzee than an attractive person, if they can do the job better and more efficiently...

 

Well, in some industries, good looking, young woman is actually is a disadvantage...Like in the STEM fields.

[basil67]

when I said she has all her sht together. I didn't just say/envy her look, but also her ability to manage her life and career.

 

From the way you write about her, it does not sound as though she's an intimate friend. So how do you know she's got it all together?

 

Sure, she's got a boyfriend and a job. But is her relationship a good one? Do you know for sure that she doesn't lie awake at night worrying about stuff in her life? Do you know what trials she been through to get her to the point she in in her life?

 

Just as you correct Elaine about her assumptions, I suspect you're making a boat load of assumptions about this girl based on her simply being attractive, having a job and a boyfriend.

[Els]

Re: career, while looks may get you a bit of help at the start, as far as I can see the "benefits" stop pretty early on. In fact, in some careers being physically attractive (as a woman) may even work against you after a certain point. I agree with the others who say that you're making assumptions about the reasons for her "success".

 

I would also like to say that if you're living in a developed country, have access to the internet and everything that entails (a home, electricity, a computer/phone, presumably no worry about where your next meal or drink of water is going to come from, etc) - you are already more fortunate than the majority of the world's population.

[Springsummer]

Oprah Winfrey hasn't always been obese and has always been a very attractive black woman too, had she truly been an unattractive woman she would never have been given air time. Oprah Winfrey won the Miss Black Tennessee Beauty Pageant at the age of 17...

 

If Bill Gates had had a more attractive, identically advantaged competitor in the tech field, then I guess we would never have heard of him.

 

Thanks for digging up Oprah for me. I had no idea. I thought she is the exception, now it turns out she has an advantage in the look department as well.

[Springsummer]

From the way you write about her, it does not sound as though she's an intimate friend. So how do you know she's got it all together?

 

Sure, she's got a boyfriend and a job. But is her relationship a good one? Do you know for sure that she doesn't lie awake at night worrying about stuff in her life? Do you know what trials she been through to get her to the point she in in her life?

 

Just as you correct Elaine about her assumptions, I suspect you're making a boat load of assumptions about this girl based on her simply being attractive, having a job and a boyfriend.

 

Yes. I was making assumptions too.

 

but.....she is a tall, cute, YOUNG blonde grew up in a developed country...she seems pretty happy...can't imagine how difficult life has been for her. I think I have pretty good guesstimate from the look of it.

[basil67]

Yes. I was making assumptions too.

 

but.....she is a tall, cute, YOUNG blonde grew up in a developed country...she seems pretty happy...can't imagine how difficult life has been for her. I think I have pretty good guesstimate from the look of it.

 

Your bitterness and lack of understanding of the things which other people can go through are astounding.

 

How do you know she didn't grow up with a mentally ill or alcoholic parent? or lose a parent when she was young? How do you know she hasn't been sexually abused as a child? How do you know that her boyfriend isn't a crazy dude? Or that she hasn't been raped? Or that she went to a good school? Or that she may have experienced homelessness. Or that she had to work part time all the way through school to help support her family? Or any other million and one adversities which looks and location don't leave us immune from.

 

You don't know anything about her, yet you assume on the basis of her appearance and the fact that she's from a developed nation that she's had life handed to her on a plate.

 

Pull your head out of your bubble of self pity and take a long hard look at yourself.