TUDOR Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale man, it must be rip on alpha day or something. i'm gettin corn-holed left and right I am sorta anti-marriage right now since I really don't want kids anymore. I like my independence and privacy but if the right woman came along I may consider marriage but until that happens I'm going to have fun, fun, fun But yes, I do feel that marriage is an instituion that benefits females more than men. I did have my fun being single and I highly encourage people to get that all out of their system before settling down....so go balls to the wall and have fun. Do I think marriage benifits females more than men.....I think an thurough poll would say you are right. But as a man you can "marry up" as much as a woman can to the point you gain as much if not more than her from marriage. I love my wife but wouldn't you know it the second time around I married a woman that has her own money! Link to post Share on other sites
JPMorgan Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 This was an honest opinion thread about the benefits of marriage -- why must you constantly bash marriage alpha? Are you allowing your own bitterness to rule you? Are you feeling like people are bashing YOU for being single? There is nothing wrong with being single -- it's just not for everyone, just like marriage isn't for everyone. I don't think you stats are correct, but lets pretend they are. 60% of marriages end in divorce -- that means that 40% of marriages last! 40% of the couples out there are happy and content in their marriage and work to keep it going and enjoy what it gives them. Also, not every divorce ends with such bitterness -- some people end their marriage because they have simply fallen out of love with each other and some stay friends or part on friendly terms and consider that their marriage was a success -- even though it ended. Not all successes are permanent! I can't answer for my husband, but I think that in the beginning when he was contemplating marriage he was thinking that it was A) the next logical step and B) and end to trying to find someone to go out with and/or being alone. Then it got to where he just plain loved me and wanted to proclaim that love to God and everyone by marrying me, and ask for God's blessing on our union. I don't mean to sound like I'm bragging, but the way my husband benefitted is he got ME as his wife. I benefitted the same by having HIM as my husband. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tanbark813 Posted August 16, 2005 Author Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by kat23 so tan, were you asking about more concrete things?? Basically. The emotional side of things, having someone there for you, regular sex (assuming that happens), etc.. are all things both people benefit from. But they're also things you don't need a marriage license for. Committed couples who are not married can still have all those things. I was basically asking about what things specifically benefit the man that are ONLY attainable by getting married. For women, it's a ring, more financial stability, and a guarantee she'll benefit the most financially should a divorce occur so she can continue to take care of the kids (assuming the couple has any). But for men, what is there specifically that is advantageous about marriage that can't be achieved through a committed but not legally bound relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
Opium Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 Basically. The emotional side of things, having someone there for you, regular sex (assuming that happens), etc.. are all things both people benefit from. But they're also things you don't need a marriage license for. Committed couples who are not married can still have all those things. I was basically asking about what things specifically benefit the man that are ONLY attainable by getting married. For women, it's a ring, more financial stability, and a guarantee she'll benefit the most financially should a divorce occur so she can continue to take care of the kids (assuming the couple has any). But for men, what is there specifically that is advantageous about marriage that can't be achieved through a committed but not legally bound relationship? Hey tan, last I checked a man gets a ring to, and if you're my husband, you're getting a nice one. You don't go into a marriage thinking "what can I benefit from it" you think about the emotional part, that's all you can really get. The reassurance that your wife will have your back NO MATTER WHAT. What if you fell in love with a woman and married her and come to see she's loaded! You know what you're benefiting, lots and lots of toys like boats and your dream sports car. So if you want to benefit from a marriage besides having long term companionship, marry a rich lady. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 But for men, what is there specifically that is advantageous about marriage that can't be achieved through a committed but not legally bound relationship? well one advantage for the man is once he's married his value goes up with all other women. he's now unavailable and all those single chick-a-dees that never gave him the time of day before will now be throwing themselves at his feet. It's not unlike becoming a rock star So to summarize....once a man gets married its easier to have an affair. Link to post Share on other sites
clandestinidad Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 hahahaha....sad but true (mmm...reminds me of a good song.....sorry, that was a tangent) well, tan.....I really cant think of anything right now. If you look at it that way, I guess nothing. unless you really do marry a wealthy woman who will spend her money on toys for you Link to post Share on other sites
Author tanbark813 Posted August 16, 2005 Author Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by Opium Hey tan, last I checked a man gets a ring to, and if you're my husband, you're getting a nice one. You don't go into a marriage thinking "what can I benefit from it" you think about the emotional part, that's all you can really get. The reassurance that your wife will have your back NO MATTER WHAT. What if you fell in love with a woman and married her and come to see she's loaded! You know what you're benefiting, lots and lots of toys like boats and your dream sports car. So if you want to benefit from a marriage besides having long term companionship, marry a rich lady. So then you would be okay getting married with a prenuptial agreement and no engagement ring? Link to post Share on other sites
Author tanbark813 Posted August 16, 2005 Author Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by kat23 unless you really do marry a wealthy woman who will spend her money on toys for you Hmmmm.. You just may be onto something there... Link to post Share on other sites
clandestinidad Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 well...be careful about doing that.....you might be accused of being a woman. cuz we all know how we just want a man so we can spend his money and what-not Link to post Share on other sites
Author tanbark813 Posted August 16, 2005 Author Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by kat23 well...be careful about doing that.....you might be accused of being a woman. cuz we all know how we just want a man so we can spend his money and what-not Word. But I think if I have enough Ferraris it will ease the pain of being called a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 All kidding aside lets not compare the value of a man's ring to even be the same ball park as women's! There is a lot of pressure these days for man to step up and impress his woman, her friends, family etc with her ring. But as far as Tangibles.... Spousal previlige: from a legal stand point, keeps your spouse from having to testify against you. Comes in handy if you are a thug and doesn't apply to non marriages. Financial: off the top of my head, multi car discounts on insurance, increased allowed IRA contrabutions, ...get back to you with other's Medical: the ability to make medical decisions for your spouse that apply only to highest next of kin, non marriages the power reverts back to family not you. Personally I would rather have my spouse making those calls than my mother who never did anything my way. I'm sure we can come up with more tangibles that only benefit the married society but I think most would agree the best benefits are not tangible at all! Can you have those non tangibles in a committed but not married relationship, sure you can! But there is something about the committment to and willingness to give that all to one person by getting married that seems to increase those non tangibles. Link to post Share on other sites
New_Wife Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Tax break. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Tanbark asks: But for men, what is there specifically that is advantageous about marriage that can't be achieved through a committed but not legally bound relationship? A tax deduction??? Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Shoot...New Wife types faster than me! Link to post Share on other sites
New_Wife Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Can't wait to tell the husband! I'm EZ and quick! Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by New_Wife Can't wait to tell the husband! I'm EZ and quick! He knows...I'm sure that has a lot to do with that ring you're wearing! Link to post Share on other sites
New_Wife Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 You've got a point there. 'Cause it sure aint my talent with the sewing machine! Link to post Share on other sites
JS17 Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 So then you would be okay getting married with a prenuptial agreement and no engagement ring? I'd never get married without a prenup...I don't want him taking my money. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tanbark813 Posted August 16, 2005 Author Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 I'd never get married without a prenup...I don't want him taking my money. Don't worry, no court in America would allow him to. Link to post Share on other sites
JS17 Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Oh contrare....I know a TV personality who's husband, an artist who was at fault for their divorce, took her to court for palimony.....he got it. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 I'd never get married without a prenup...I don't want him taking my money. what if he has a whole lot more money than you ? Would him asking you to sign a prenup still make you feel that you have the need for them ? What if broaching the subject would mean that he wouldn't marry you.. even though he had more money ? Link to post Share on other sites
JS17 Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 I think everyone should have a prenup no matter what you have or don't have. I hope nobody ever has to use it either but that's not realistic. I'm not looking for the materialistic things out of a marriage, just a partner in life. Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 I think everyone should have a prenup no matter what you have or don't have. I hope nobody ever has to use it either but that's not realistic. I'm not looking for the materialistic things out of a marriage, just a partner in life. I'm a realistic person but isn't planning for failure a bad way to start off? Link to post Share on other sites
JS17 Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Oops, didn't see the second part of your question. I would have to think really hard about it if faced in the situation but I don't think that I would marry someone who would break off an engagement over a prenup. It's all hypothetical but I don't think I would feel that someone is committed enough to me if they felt that this was a reason to end a relationship....what would be next? Link to post Share on other sites
JS17 Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by TUDOR I'm a realistic person but isn't planning for failure a bad way to start off? It's all legal stuff. People don't say the same thing about writing a Last Will. It's protecting both individuals. I can't honestly say that I wouldn't marry someone if they didn't want a prenup but I think it's all too hypothetical to really comment. Link to post Share on other sites
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