What do men get by being married these days?

[loony]

Grumpy old divorced men.

[clandestinidad]

what about the men who want to take everything from the ex-wife, despite the fact that he was verbally and physically abusive to her causing the relationship to fail in the first place.

 

So what does this divorced man get from being married?!?! Basically all of the household s*** and everything else on his stupid m0th3rf*ing list that he wanted to take from me, after I'd used it for nearly 2 years.....b/c I didnt want to argue over such petty s***, OR be accused of wanting money anymore!!!

 

besides the fact that this a$$h0l3 didnt want to pay child support at all...even saying that "her parents have money, so I shouldnt have to pay anything".....and continuing to fight paying the 20% mandated by the state for child support!!!!

 

so what does THIS man get by being married!?!?! Everything.....minus minimum child support for my slightly special needs, beautiful, wonderful daughter

[JPMorgan]

I can't answer for my husband, but I think that in the beginning when he was contemplating marriage he was thinking that it was A) the next logical step and B) and end to trying to find someone to go out with and/or being alone. Then it got to where he just plain loved me and wanted to proclaim that love to God and everyone by marrying me, and ask for God's blessing on our union. I don't mean to sound like I'm bragging, but the way my husband benefitted is he got ME as his wife. I benefitted the same by having HIM as my husband.

 

I asked my husband how he thought he benefitted by marrying me. I was right about A & B above, but my husband also said "that marriage was like a door opening and he got the whole world where before he was alone and watching the world go by, peeking out of windows (dating) and while he enjoyed the view he wasn't part of the world. Like standing in a B&W room and watching a color world beyond the window and that a value can't be put on marriage because marriage is esoteric and priceless in and of itself. It is a state of being - it is how two people become one person even while remaining individuals. It's magic and even when we disagree on things we don't lose the magic of the union. Living together doesn't cut it - the window might be open then and sometimes he might sit on the patio, but its not the whole world until we proclaim to the whole world that we are one and that means a marriage blessed by God and witnesses by our family and friends."

 

I sure love him!

[Art_Critic]

Originally posted by kat23

what about the men who want to take everything from the ex-wife, despite the fact that he was verbally and physically abusive to her causing the relationship to fail in the first place.

 

So what does this divorced man get from being married?!?! Basically all of the household s*** and everything else on his stupid m0th3rf*ing list that he wanted to take from me, after I'd used it for nearly 2 years.....b/c I didnt want to argue over such petty s***, OR be accused of wanting money anymore!!!

 

besides the fact that this a$$h0l3 didnt want to pay child support at all...even saying that "her parents have money, so I shouldnt have to pay anything".....and continuing to fight paying the 20% mandated by the state for child support!!!!

 

so what does THIS man get by being married!?!?! Everything.....minus minimum child support for my slightly special needs, beautiful, wonderful daughter

 

your talking about a deadbeat dad .. The worst scum on earth .. Not the normal married man.

 

You don't have any access to guns do you ??

[clandestinidad]

You don't have any access to guns do you ??

no....but he does

 

he even said once that he wouldnt go to counseling for fear that they'd take away his concealed handgun license

 

I was only trying to point out that its not only women who try to 'take it all' when a marriage fails. There are guys out there who do it on purpose too......and there are women who dont get sucked into their horrible plan, and let him have whatever he wants

[New_Wife]

They are not the majority???

 

From my State's Child Support Website:

 

Statewide, 180,000 to 200,000 parents owe child support, affecting more than 425,000 children.

 

"During any given month, we only collect about 64 percent of what is owed that month," Withrow said.

 

That leaves million of dollars in unpaid support.

 

How again is it that these poor dear men keep getting screwed? How about their kids?

 

You can't have it both ways, Alpha. In a dating thread, you stated that single mothers are nearly always below the poverty line - but here you rail about how screwed men get in a divorce. PICK. Either they're not getting support from their exes to raise the children (ie, women & children getting screwed) or they're not below the poverty line, and driving porches and mercedes while the poor abused men are just wallowing in their cardboard boxes begging for scraps.

 

This isn't about stats for you at all - you just hate women.

[amerikajin]

Yeah, what do I get by being married?

 

Me: Hi honey, and how are you this morning?

 

Her: Have you taken out the trash yet?

 

Me: Well, I was gonna get some breakfast first, but I'll --

 

Her: NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG

[JS17]

Originally posted by amerikajin

Yeah, what do I get by being married?

 

Me: Hi honey, and how are you this morning?

 

Her: Have you taken out the trash yet?

 

Me: Well, I was gonna get some breakfast first, but I'll --

 

Her: NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG

 

lol. you guys are all nuts....and bitter

[tanbark813]

Originally posted by JS17

lol. you guys are all nuts....and bitter

 

It's funny how women have to result to insults and name-calling to guilt a guy into marriage. That kind of proves my point that there isn't really a practical answer to offer.

[JS17]

Originally posted by tanbark813

It's funny how women have to result to insults and name-calling to guilt a guy into marriage. That kind of proves my point that there isn't really a practical answer to offer.

 

oh come on, i think you know that's not true.

[New_Wife]

So JS17 was proposing to all of the nutty guys on here?

 

Girl, you're a naughty little Vixen aren't you? A whole stable of husbands????

[tanbark813]

Originally posted by JS17

oh come on, i think you know that's not true.

 

I asked a simple, neutral question. Nobody can really come up with anything. Then whenever a guy expresses a distaste for marriage it's "you're just bitter" or "you have issues". Why is he not entitled to his opinion?

[alphamale]

Originally posted by amerikajin

Yeah, what do I get by being married?

 

Me: Hi honey, and how are you this morning?

Her: Have you taken out the trash yet?

Me: Well, I was gonna get some breakfast first, but I'll --

Her: NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG

you forgot to add:

 

Me: So sweetie pumpkin, how's about foolin' around tonite?

 

Her: Naah, you're never gonna have sex again!

[JS17]

Originally posted by tanbark813

I asked a simple, neutral question. Nobody can really come up with anything. Then whenever a guy expresses a distaste for marriage it's "you're just bitter" or "you have issues". Why is he not entitled to his opinion?

 

I think you got a lot of answers. I think you're just not satisfied with them.

[amerikajin]

(cuddling in bed)

 

Me: Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?

 

Her: Honey, what about us?

 

Me: Well, um...I like you a lot, baby.

 

Her: LIKE me?!?!?! Oh my God!!!!

 

Me: What? Honey, look, you know how I feel about you.

 

Her: (silence, then sniffles) GOOD NIGHT!!!! (Rolls over)

 

Me: Oh, now come on...stop, you know I lo- love you honey. (Thinking to myself: Oh s***, I did NOT just say that)

 

Her: Are you sure?

 

Me: Well, yeah.

 

Her: I need stability. I need a commitment. And I need a commitment now.

 

Me: Well, yeah, we're committed now, baby.

 

Her: (rolls over, more sniffles)

 

Me: (Damn, I'd better think of something quickly or I'll have to spank the monkey on my own)

 

Me: Um, well, ya know I was thinking...let's get married.

 

Her: Oh honey I love you! But you know...it's my period and I'm cramping and tired. Maybe next week. G'night.

 

Me: (sniffles)

[JS17]

well it's a good thing that you told her you loved her so you could get laid *whew*

[thegoodhubbie]

Originally posted by amerikajin

(cuddling in bed)

 

Me: Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?

 

Her: Honey, what about us?

 

Me: Well, um...I like you a lot, baby.

 

Her: LIKE me?!?!?! Oh my God!!!!

 

Me: What? Honey, look, you know how I feel about you.

 

Her: (silence, then sniffles) GOOD NIGHT!!!! (Rolls over)

 

Me: Oh, now come on...stop, you know I lo- love you honey. (Thinking to myself: Oh s***, I did NOT just say that)

 

Her: Are you sure?

 

Me: Well, yeah.

 

Her: I need stability. I need a commitment. And I need a commitment now.

 

Me: Well, yeah, we're committed now, baby.

 

Her: (rolls over, more sniffles)

 

Me: (Damn, I'd better think of something quickly or I'll have to spank the monkey on my own)

 

Me: Um, well, ya know I was thinking...let's get married.

 

Her: Oh honey I love you! But you know...it's my period and I'm cramping and tired. Maybe next week. G'night.

 

Me: (sniffles)

 

ROTFLMFAO

[Mz. Pixie]

"I was only trying to point out that its not only women who try to 'take it all' when a marriage fails. There are guys out there who do it on purpose too......and there are women who dont get sucked into their horrible plan, and let him have whatever he wants"

 

***Raises hand here**** that's exactly what I did, even though I'd worked all my life for the house and such. Guess what?? Don't miss it now- there is no amount of material things or money that would replace what I have with my hubby now.

 

You know, my husband was afraid that our fantastic sex life would cease once we got married- as what happened to him before. We both have made a pact not to let that happen. Heck, I'm always jumping him anyway- so I don't ever see that happening on my end. That's the benefit to being older wiser and knowing what you want. It's also the benefit of being in your sexual prime I guess......

[tanbark813]

Originally posted by JS17

I think you got a lot of answers. I think you're just not satisfied with them.

 

You are correct. The only answers I got were overly rose-colored emotional ones or ones that applied to both people. None of which answer the initial question.

 

I just think it's lame for a person to be told they have issues just for having an opinion. It's all subjective anyway. What is cynical to one person might be considered wise to another. What is sensible to one person might be considered foolish to another.

 

There are people in here who have expressed their love of marriage. That's cool, and good for them, but it still didn't answer my question. And never were they told they have issues.

[JS17]

Sorry TB, didn't mean to offend you. I just thought that some of the guys were getting silly and carried away. I didn't say anyone had issues BUT who doesn't have issues, really? that's besides the point. I think Kat23 gave you the answer you were looking for.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by JS17

I think Kat23 gave you the answer you were looking for.

No, I don't think so.... I gave TANBARK the answer(s) he was looking for.

[tanbark813]

Originally posted by JS17

Sorry TB, didn't mean to offend you. I just thought that some of the guys were getting silly and carried away. I didn't say anyone had issues BUT who doesn't have issues, really? that's besides the point. I think Kat23 gave you the answer you were looking for.

 

It's cool, you didn't offend me.

 

Not to split hairs but kat gave an example of what the guy gained by leaving the marriage, or what he was able to hold onto. It's not exactly what I was asking. I was looking for what are the benefits or selling points for entering into the situation to begin with.

[JS17]

The benefit? An awesome woman that is yours and only yours forever and ever.

[Merin]

Let me think...

 

My Now EXH.. what did he get out of being married to me..

 

1) I did get him a wedding ring, and while I got an engagment ring LOL it was cheap (and I didn't care) and I helped pay for it.. again I didn't care because I loved him.

 

2) He got to go to school while I worked to support us, he also got a lot of his legal briefs done via me as he didn't get how to do them, so I did them for him.

 

3) He got an amazing meal cooked for him when he got home, I can cook like a MoFo

 

4) He had a clean home to relax in and entertain his buddies in

 

5) He had clean clothes magically appear in his dresser

 

6) He developed an amazing sense of humour and came out of his shy shell a lot with me

 

7) He had support and encouragement to follow his dreams

 

8) He had a best friend in me... I always had his back and did what I could to make him laugh and keep him happy

 

9) He got 2 amazing Little People

 

10) He got a "Dad" as he became very attached to my own Father as his own Dad is lame

 

11) He had amazing sex with me and I was all about it

 

These are things HE my now EXH got out of being married to me... it never mattered to me when we were PO, hell we didn't even have enough money to go on a honeymoon when we got married! It didn't matter to me if we went to Village Inn to eat out... what mattered to me was that he have my back and be good to me.

 

What did I get in the divorce....

 

1) Half the debt

 

2) My Little People and that wasn't because a Judge ordered it that way, it was because he didn't want them...

 

3) Half of our assets, and what we had together we BOTH had worked for

 

What did he get in the divorce...

 

1) Half the debt

 

2) The right to be in his childrens lives, with joint custody (I was given Custodial Custody) but my now EXH chooses NOT to have our Little people for any over nights or any extended time in the summer.

 

3) Half of our assests

 

 

What you get out of anything is typically what you're willing to put into it... of course there are always exceptions.

 

With that said... I have zero doubt you will find an amazing person Tan, and I also have zero doubt you will put everything into your marraige when you get there... however there are no gaurantee's in any relationship all anyone of us can do is put our all into things, go into things with a positive outlook and hope it's enough.

 

The Girl who makes your heart flip in that way, will be a lucky one Tan and I hope she will put all she's got into you as well

[alphamale]

Originally posted by JS17

The benefit? An awesome woman that is yours and only yours forever and ever.

who cares? women are the best and I want to sample an nice cross-section of the general population. how the hell am i gonna do that if i'm married. f*** that bullshyt! i love women way too much to actually marry one. no way jose! nada. ain't gonna happen...

 

and plus one thing people forget is that if a man stays single for long enough (into his 30s and 40s) he will have more puzzy than he knows what to do with. as long as he is ok looking and has a decent job he'll get pussy galore.

 

when we are young the women have the advantage in the dating game. when we get older its the men who have the advantage. and f*** if i'm gonna give up that advantage.