theclash Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 My yo-yo relationship with my last recent bf called andy* was quite a painful one. We first had a relationship for 4 months straight (oct 04/feb05). He broke up with me the first time cos he didnt know where he stood with me. Apparently I didnt give him enough attention, which i agree with....I was due to have a major jaw operation and i was scared s***less, so my mind was on other things. But after 3 weeks apart we got back together again, and we were SO much closer. Then 3 weeks after we got back together, we broke up AGAIN because we were arguing about him making all the first moves, & he angrily said "our relationship is dull and boring", so I asked him if he wanted to end it, cos i was so hurt, which he did the next day. yikes I was so hurt and angry for a second time, how could he do this to me? I made a mistake, if he just talked to me about our problem instead of finishing it, i would of made more of an effort to kiss him first etc. I done NC for about 5 weeks, and in the end we started talking again, i thought we would never chat again, and in may/june this year we met up for some closure for a second time. About 3 weeks later, he texted me saying he misses me, then the next day i got a text saying "can u meet me at 9pm?" I replied saying "yeah, we can go for that drink we were meant to go to for a while back" and he replied "I have had way too much to drink already, i just want to see you and hold you" I stupidly went to meet him, and after 20 mins, we ended up kissing. He told me "I wish we never broke up now" and "I've missed you so much" I thought he wanted me back, cos you dont do stuff like that to an ex gf if u dont want them back do you? he even took me back to his flat to stay the night, I was so happy. He even said "I do love you, I never stopped loving you" He even sweetly said about the last time we broke up that "I had to get out, cos I thought i lost you" I was so happy, it was unreal. Then just over a month ago i texted him cos we hadn't seen each other for 2 weeks, and i didnt want him to think i was going off him. I asked him how he was etc etc, and this is what i got back "I'm fine, just been working lots. I'm seeing someone now, it's going well, hows you?" HOW DARE HE! How dare he lead me on like that, and chuck me away. When i rang him back asking what he meant by 'im seeing someone now' he goes "yeah". He sounded so pleased with himself. He said "you never said we were boyfriend and girlfriend again, I would have said no. I'm head over heels for her" hang on a sec, if we wernt together again, why did he say things to me like "I wish we never broke up" and "I LOVE you", and you do NOT do the things we got up to that night with an ex gf I was SO angry, I sent him lots of texts with foul language and foul names, demanding to know why he treated me like that. I have done NOTHING to him to deserve what I got. My motto is: Treat people the way you want to be treated. I would NEVER cheat on a boyfriend, and he had the urge to treat me like a door mat. That night i thought we made up, he said "i suck at relationships" and i said "i noticed, i can teach you" grrrr, didnt he realise i meant I could teach him about OUR relationship, NOT relationships with other girls. Well since the nasty texts i sent him a month ago, which i have apologised for, i have NC with him for over a month now. So far I havent seen him with his new "girlfriend", but to be honest, he dosnt deserve girlfriends as he treats other girls like this. He deserves to be with a girl who cheats on every boyfriend shes ever had. Well it's his loss, his mistake. It's werid, i cant STAND the guy, i hate him for what he did, but i hope that he realises the damage he has caused me (he's acting like nothing is wrong) I've seen him around since our huge argument. I have to walk past his work everyday to get to my work, and once i saw him walking home, as i was going home, and i just completly ignored him. Do you think I over-reacted with the angry texts? I apologised for them after i cooled down, and with all due-respect, anger can make you totally out of controll, but I still cant believe what a ******* t***** he has been towards me What I'm also confused about is that I want to make him jealous. I want him to realise that he has lost a really great girlfriend. I'm not being big-headed, but I am a nice person, i wouldnt hurt a fly. lol. It's like he thought "She's a nice girl, she wont mind if i hurt her" To hell with that merchant banker, he can do what the hell he likes. his loss, not mine. I'm better off without him in my life. Its werid with my attitude like that, cos i still want to make him envious. Any tips? Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by theclash He told me "I wish we never broke up now" and "I've missed you so much" I thought he wanted me back, cos you dont do stuff like that to an ex gf if u dont want them back do you? he even took me back to his flat to stay the night, I was so happy. He even said "I do love you, I never stopped loving you" He even sweetly said about the last time we broke up that "I had to get out, cos I thought i lost you" I was so happy, it was unreal. I know. It's lovely when people tell you exactly what you want to hear/need to hear in order to sleep with them... isn't it? Bummer when you realise that's all they're doing. I was SO angry, I sent him lots of texts with foul language and foul names, demanding to know why he treated me like that. Embarrassing but understandable. You'll know not to do that again. It's never worth it. [Do you think I over-reacted with the angry texts? Yes, but it's done now. No point in beating yourself up about it - people over-react all the time...and there was provocation. What I'm also confused about is that I want to make him jealous. I want him to realise that he has lost a really great girlfriend. That feeling will pass. Usually if he ever does start to regret losing you it occurs round about the same time that you realise somewhere deep in your heart and soul that he's a simple, random arsehole who you're well shot of. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by theclash What I'm also confused about is that I want to make him jealous. I want him to realise that he has lost a really great girlfriend. The best way to get someone back (Revenge so to speak) that hurt you is move on .. They will know what they lost one day.. But if you never give them the chance to miss you ( Months not days ) you lose the power. The way to keep the power is NC Link to post Share on other sites
Author theclash Posted August 16, 2005 Author Share Posted August 16, 2005 thanks for your advice lyndia and art_critic, your both right. lyndia we didnt go all the way, but we did do other stuff which most sexual couples also do, and he even wanted me to give him head shocking Part of me knows he's an arsehole, i told him that in the angry texts. He didnt like it Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by theclash thanks for your advice lyndia and art_critic, your both right. lyndia we didnt go all the way, but we did do other stuff which most sexual couples also do, and he even wanted me to give him head shocking Bet you wish you'd agreed to do it now. Without usual teeth-covering measures to protect his sensitive little pal, obviously.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author theclash Posted August 16, 2005 Author Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by lindya Bet you wish you'd agreed to do it now. Without usual teeth-covering measures to protect his sensitive little pal, obviously.... lol oh yes. and i have a fixed brace, so that would of added extrat touch, hehe Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by theclash lol oh yes. and i have a fixed brace, so that would of added extrat touch, hehe You could always give him a fourth chance, then.....GGGGNASH!!! ("who hurts now, baby?") Note to all male forum users. The above is meant purely in jest and is not to be taken as constituting serious advice or incitement to cause pain and injury to any male member. However much of an arsehole its owner might be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author theclash Posted August 16, 2005 Author Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by lindya You could always give him a fourth chance, then.....GGGGNASH!!! ("who hurts now, baby?") hehe, good point! In one of thoes angry texts, i said "you can forget about that blow job if this is the way u feel about me" im so embrassed cos he actually showed that above txt msg to his mate tom, who im also mates with...im actually seeing tom now though but i feel kinda awkard Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by theclash hehe, good point! In one of thoes angry texts, i said "you can forget about that blow job if this is the way u feel about me" im so embrassed cos he actually showed that above txt msg to his mate tom, who im also mates with...im actually seeing tom now though but i feel kinda awkard Oh well...revenge problem solved thoroughly. Give tom the bj of his life (ask a gay male friend for pointers if you lack confidence in your ability) and he can then let the ex know exactly what he's missing out on. Link to post Share on other sites
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