Deleting a Significant Other's Electronic Data

[Shining One]

This topic came up in another thread. I didn't want to derail that thread too much, so here we are.

 

What are your thoughts on deleting a significant other's electronic data? I see it as destruction of property and a huge violation of trust. It's not a huge concern for me due to my security and backup policies, but I'm surprised that people are actually okay with this.

 

A follow up question for those who have deleted their significant other's files: How would you feel if your significant other went into your electronic devices and deleted files he/she did not like?

[mrs rubble]

For me it would depend on what it was that was deleted.

My husband has a photo of me on his computer I hate, I'd love to delete it. I've asked him to delete it but he won't.

If I had a photo of him he hated, I'd delete it if he asked me. I wouldn't be upset if he went and deleted it himself either without my permission.

If it were old photos of my family, I'd be furious. Likewise if it were personal documents or photos of friends.

[somanymistakes]

You should not be deleting someone else's files without permission any more than you should be throwing out their possessions without permission.

 

It might be forgiveable, depending on what it was and how you felt about it. Some people would probably feel it was okay to throw out a spouse's physical stash of cigarettes or porn mags, if they were something that the spouse had agreed not to have and was sneaking in. For the same reason, if the spouse had agreed to stop collecting furry porn or whatever and you found a folder of it on their computer, some people would feel it was appropriate to delete that.

 

However, it would be wrong, in my opinion, to go through your spouse's closet and drawers looking for anything that reminded you of their ex in order to throw it out and burn it, and in the same way it would be wrong to go through their computer and delete all old photos and chatlogs and so on from before your relationship.

[d0nnivain]

It's wrong. The data is not yours to destroy.

[WaitingForBardot]

I would never erase data belonging to my wife, or anyone else for that matter. If it were done to me, the relationship would be in serious jeopardy.

[CptInsano]

I once had a jealous gf delete all my female contacts, and almost all of them were business contacts. Yes, I felt she broke my trust, and I had to reach out in many cases to get their phone numbers and email addresses again.

[Rockdad]

It's wrong. The data is not yours to destroy.

 

Spot on! I would be both shocked and furious should my wife do that to me. The other thread mentioned snooping and nude pics being found. I would be shocked if my wife snooped which would set me back a step or two as neither of us have done that in our 20 years together.

 

I have maybe a 1000 nude pics of her, us and friends. To us both being Naturalist it's just very natural. I know some of those pics she doesn't care for. Truthfully some are just of bad quality but they are of her. I can't find it in me to delete them because they are of her. I told her that when she looked at them. As I said I would be furious if she ever deleted any of them.

Edited October 16, 2017 by Rockdad

[knabe]

This is not the behavior of an actual healthy adult. Period.

[loverboy69]

I once had a jealous gf delete all my female contacts, and almost all of them were business contacts. Yes, I felt she broke my trust, and I had to reach out in many cases to get their phone numbers and email addresses again.

 

Reminds me of a jealous coworker. He was jealous of me because he assumed the person he liked at work was in love with me.

 

I foolishly left my smartphone on my desk with Facebook open. He unfriended the guy from my Facebook and deleted him from my Snapchat followers.

 

The fool was trying to make sure we never got together.

[Els]

Definitely NOT okay.