My girlfriend is still in contact with her ex after they sexted each other

[BaileyB]

Big red flag.

 

This woman has a history of infidelity and she is currently talking with her former "partner in crime." Proceed with caution...

[ThorntonMelon]

I would try to have a civilized conversation with her. Tell her it bugs you, but that you also understand that while she probably doesn't want to be with him, you are pretty sure those aren't the other guy's intentions. You don't want her to hide conversations from you and don't want secrets, but also feel like their relationship isn't going to help yours.

 

And then shut up and listen. Her response will tell you everything you need to know.

[fidelcashflow]

I tried to talk to her about it last night. We have had problems with guys in her past talking to her inappropriately, which has caused a few blocks to be handed out.

 

She said that this isnt really a good example because they rarely talk.

 

I know that he is trying stuff because in one of the convos she showed me he was talking about how much he likes her mom and how he could have had the "coolest in law ever." Come onnnnn

[MajesticUnicorn]

How long have you been dating? Does she have many redeeming qualities? Even so, in my opinion this relationship is not worth it.

 

Having a history of cheating is a red flag within itself, but then layer on the fact that she's talking with her ex on top of that, I would say RUN. And yeah those messages are not okay to be exchanging, and that's the beautiful part about Snapchat...the messages disappear so you have no idea what they could have been saying to each other.

[William]

Four threads merged and please continue the discussion here. Some content may be duplicated. Thanks!

[fidelcashflow]

How long have you been dating? Does she have many redeeming qualities? Even so, in my opinion this relationship is not worth it.

 

Having a history of cheating is a red flag within itself, but then layer on the fact that she's talking with her ex on top of that, I would say RUN. And yeah those messages are not okay to be exchanging, and that's the beautiful part about Snapchat...the messages disappear so you have no idea what they could have been saying to each other.

 

We have been dating for two years. And yes, she has many redeeming qualities which makes this all the tougher.

[BaileyB]

So, to be clear... With the merging of threads, it's hard to put it together.

 

When she was in college, she cheated on her high school boyfriend with not one guy, but "a bunch of guys."

 

She's been dating you for two years now. While you were dating but before you were "exclusive," she hooked up with the guy she is currently texting.

 

But last year, you discovered that she was "sexting" with another guy - her first high school boyfriend.

 

Is that correct? Well, I feel like this girl has a significant issue with boundaries in that, she has none. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life, checking her phone to see which guy she is talking with now... That's not how healthy relationships are supposed to work.

Edited October 30, 2017 by BaileyB

[Logo]

T

I dont know what to do. I really do love this girl and want to be with her for the rest of my life and she feels the same way about me. She constantly tells me how she wants to marry me, we talk about what we will name our kids, and were about to inquire about a house last week!

 

Actions speak louder than words.

 

Ignore her words and look at the actions; they are a window to her heart and mind.

 

 

I would leave the relationship while the leaving is still good. You already know she's a a serial cheater.

Edited October 31, 2017 by Logo

[ExpatInItaly]

OP, you can create thread after thread about the same thing, but the problem is this:

 

Your girlfriend is just not that into you, and she certainly has no respect for you. And I thought she broke up with you anyway?

 

A woman in love doesn't behave the way she does. Period. You can hang on if you like, but you will regret it. She will find someone else (and then someone else) to get her rocks off with.

[Space Ritual]

Fidel,

 

No matter which way you ask this same question, the result is the same. She is going to do whatever she wants, regardless of how you feel.

 

What is more disturbing than her actions is your steadfast refusal to listen to any of the advice anyone has given you. Instead, you reform the same question with little deviation and repost it , in hopes someone will tell you what you want to hear...and that what you want to hear is "No, she loves you totally and this is all a big misunderstanding".

 

What you are doing is called Pain Shopping.

 

Your GF has identified this in you, sees it as a tool to manipulate you without lifting a finger, and going about her merry way.

 

So for the last time (hopefully)..

 

Get rid of this gash. Do you not see when you are approaching 5 pages of replies that are all literally telling you the same thing, that your refusal to make a decision is actually making a decision?

 

She does not love you. She may have at one time, but she has lost respect for you over the curse of these 2 years. There is simply nothing you can do about that. Your milquetoast and limp noodled approach comes off as clingy and pathetic.

 

I am sorry that you are not getting this, but I am attempting one last time to give you a virtual 2x4 to the dome to act now and end this relationship NOW.

 

You are spinning your wheels, and pining away for someone that does not feel even remotely the same as you do. The only way to move forward is without her. Have the courage to venture into unknown territory. Your GF's Vagina is not lined with mink or diamonds. Stop acting like it is.

 

Dump her now....It is THE ONLY WAY!

 

I will not make any more comments on your threads unless it is to congratulate you for pulling the trigger when you announce that you have.

[GoldenR]

The times and dates of the posts....WTF? They don't make sense. This guy has a bunch of scenarios he got from somewhere and is "cutting and pasting" them here.

[Try]

We talked about it. I asked her straight up when the last time she talked to him was. Maybe she had a hunch that I knew but she came right out and said it, which I appreciated.

She called me about an hour later and broke up with me because this isnt fair to me, that she isnt respecting me or our relationship, and that i deserve so much better than her. I told her that I wouldnt want to continue until she figures out why she keeps contacting him and what she really wants in life right now.

After you caught her breaking no contact with her ex again, your girlfriend breaking up with you claiming that she is doing this because "this isnt fair to" you, is nothing more than her taking control away from you. She wanted to show you that she is in charge and that she is fully willing to end the relationship with you if you push her too hard about her cheating again. If you stay with her, she has put you on notice as to her rules. Look up the word cuckold. Most men do not become cuckold because they want to be one. I am not saying that you are close to being there yet, but this could be a first step in her possibly trying to make you into one.

[Maraud3r]

Your girlfriend has a history of infidelity. Your girlfriend is currently in contact with her ex. Your girlfriend is lying to you.

 

You have pretty much two choices. Either you dump her or you come to terms with the fact that your future children might have him as a father.

[Superchicken]

The times and dates of the posts....WTF? They don't make sense. This guy has a bunch of scenarios he got from somewhere and is "cutting and pasting" them here.

 

I think the moderator merged a few of his posts together into one, because its all about the same girl. Which sort of puts loopies on all of us reading the posts....

 

 

Ted.