strangelove Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Ok women of POF Think about guys you broke up that although they really suck and broke up with them, that you secretly or openly wish would contact you.. What would you like for them or hope for them to say to you? Would could they say to get you to write back? Its the anniversary of the day I met my ex. Id like tos end her something maybe an e card maybe just an email. I sent her e cards on valentines and she picked up everyone.. and things were sort of going ok till I messed up. So.....women of POF Im throwing myself at your mercy, please open up your fountain of knowledge to me sp that I might drink from it... Link to post Share on other sites
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 I need a few mor deatils. How long was the realtioship? How ong since the break up? What was the reason for the break up? Was it an ugly break up? Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Excuse my ignorance, but what does POF stand for? I'm sure it's something obvious, but my brain just isn't working. Following on from my banter with the clash, I would like my ex to email me and say "I hurt really bad and miss you dreadfully. My new girlfriend's teeth are extremely sharp, and she doesn't know how to cover them." Link to post Share on other sites
Author strangelove Posted August 16, 2005 Author Share Posted August 16, 2005 POF stands for " Power of females" Ok breakup almost a year. but she has contacted me off and on. I sent her a really sweet email and she was calling me and tried to message me on msn and I was too afraid to chat with her... she makes me really nervous and I get butterflies. I was afraid she was going to ball me out for writing her something sweet. Break reason I told her stop contacting me. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by dr strangelove Break reason I told her stop contacting me. Well then I suppose if that was how things broke up it might be an idea send her the following message: Start contacting me Then leave it at that, and see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
butterfly29 Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Ok, Dr strange You're not making any sence! What is it that you're trying to accomplish? Do you want to get her back? Who broke up with whom initially and why? Link to post Share on other sites
Author strangelove Posted August 16, 2005 Author Share Posted August 16, 2005 sigh try not to get caught up in the who, what where and why of this. In fact disregard my story altogether. Think of it you broke up with your ex..male or maybe female. What would you like to hear from them "IF' you want to hear from them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author strangelove Posted August 16, 2005 Author Share Posted August 16, 2005 Yes of course I want her back.. but im not going to throw that in her face just yet I just thats too intense.. dont you agree ladies? Link to post Share on other sites
butterfly29 Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by dr strangelove Think of it you broke up with your ex..male or maybe female. What would you like to hear from them "IF' you want to hear from them. Nothing... really Link to post Share on other sites
Opium Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 By giving all these mixed signals she's going to wonder what your intentions are. Just give a nice rose and tell her how you feel and that you're sorry. Theirs nothing else you can do. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleMiss Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by Opium By giving all these mixed signals she's going to wonder what your intentions are. Just give a nice rose and tell her how you feel and that you're sorry. Theirs nothing else you can do. I agree. Don't play games. Just be honest. Tell her you made the mistake of breaking up with her and now you realize how important she is to you and you just hope it's not too late to make things right again. Link to post Share on other sites
butterfly29 Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Hang on a sec... it looks to me that she was the one who broke up with him... Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by butterfly29 Hang on a sec... it looks to me that she was the one who broke up with him... Ah. Well if that's the case then she would have to be the one to initiate contact starting up again. Unless he forced her into a position where although she didn't really want to break up with him, doing otherwise would have made her look foolish. Link to post Share on other sites
sundrop Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 I say just be honest, tell her how you feel. I would like to hear how my ex felt if he truely wanted me back. It's simple, just the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
butterfly29 Posted August 17, 2005 Share Posted August 17, 2005 ok, I've read your other related posts, It's really hard to give you advice, dr_strangelove, because you are not telling us the details. You are being vague and therefore there is no way you gonna hear precice anwers to the point. It sounds to me like you're really scared to be honest with yourself, her and us there in this forum. That's what you need to work on first. But I hope these answers will help: 1. Being honest about your feelings DOES NOT make you less of a man, only the opposite. Even if she doesn't take you back, whatever happened between you two. 2. westernexer is right, you can't change her mind if she decided to move on. But what I'd like to add is, don't think of it as your fault. 3. women respect and like men who have the balls. Nothing wrong with being scared, but doing the things you're scared of anyways is what makes you brave. (if men liked brave women just as much as women like brave men, *sigh* I'd be much more successful with men... ) 4. I get the feeling that you freaking out was what really turned her off in the first place. But again, how do I know if you're not telling the full story. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 17, 2005 Share Posted August 17, 2005 Your just grasping dude.. Grow a set.... and move on.. You need to regain your male dignity. Try and forget about her and go find someone else.. And do NC with your ex Link to post Share on other sites
country gal Posted August 17, 2005 Share Posted August 17, 2005 definately the honesty and sincerity approach .... lay it out there. tell her that you miss her, taht you are sorry (if you have reason to be), that she still gives you butterflies, that you think she is incredible or whatever it is you think about her .... and then just throw the ball in her court. if there is still something between you guys, she'll respond.... if not, then at least you will be released from limbo. Link to post Share on other sites
country gal Posted August 17, 2005 Share Posted August 17, 2005 in person is always better than a letter ... for me anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author strangelove Posted August 18, 2005 Author Share Posted August 18, 2005 Look ladies this is how it has gone in the last while. I do tell her how I feel, I guess she doesnt believe me.. then both of us go off in a huff. Then after she pops back around.. talking to me again. So I guess she doesnt believe im sincere but she is there talking to me after so it had some effect. In any case maybe finally she belived my sincerity cause I sent her a simple but beautiful email I even included a song. Then she was calling me.. I didnt pick up it was probably 7 times. I guess that was a good sign but maybe I wanted more like an email back or some other sign. I realize you get what you get and at least it was a first step. So in any case when i did get around messageing her I guess she was angry at me thinking i was playing games and she basically told me not to contact her anymore. However..... she has done this a million times.. I have half of an email started here Ill post what I have not sure what else to write.. I feel it should be simple since im really just trying to coax her into talking again. Heres what I have so far... thoughts welcome. I know you told me not to contact you anymore, but you have said that many times and I have too. I know I always regret saying it later on. In any case I just wanted to drop you this quick note. Hello, how are you doing? :-) Maybe thats good enough.. ladies any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
ButtonPusher Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 umm beginning to sound very stalkerish Link to post Share on other sites
Author strangelove Posted August 18, 2005 Author Share Posted August 18, 2005 Sigh I keep my mouth shut.. on second thought what am I listening to someone else for. Any other time in my life if I listened to other people I never would have got far... Its just a matter of the best simple thing to say. Ladies an thoughts??? Im tryin to think of it from her point of view.. what would she want to hear..?? O just keep remembering the time she freaked out at me told me she never ever wanted anything to do with me again and I brought her flowers and a note.. that worked well cause she woke up in my bed the next day.. wink wink.. inspiration where are you? Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 Strangelove, Do you think this woman is not with you because she questions your love for her? If you do you are so wrong.......she questions her own love for you and until she figures herself out she will certainly stay as far away from you as possible. You can't provide her a cure for this nor can you sway her in any way as she needs to get through this herself. Do you really want this woman so bad that you have to beg for her love? I tend to think that if you continue this "stalkerish" behavior.........eventually you will come to resent her quite a bit in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author strangelove Posted August 18, 2005 Author Share Posted August 18, 2005 HOW IS IT STALKERISH IF she says ok I dont ant anything to do with you.. and then she pops up days later and wonders why i didnt try to contact her... Women tend to leave me cause they think im not that into them not enough time etc.. I havent done anything yet!! I have always backed off, maybe just once Id like to try a different method.. but im sitting on the fence right now. Please dont refer to me as a stalker.. thats more like women I have dated u try and break up with them and then send u 4 emails.. FYI folks.. every time I have waited it out for her to come around she someone how manages to flip it around as to thats what I wanted. She would never come crawling to me.. but she will let me know when she wants me to come crawling back to her. EX: after all the months I hadnt talked to her she shows up on MSN until I take the first step and message her she says nothing....... and then she says to me after we have talked for a while "well you needed to say these things to me" ...uh? actually no I didnt.. Do you get what im saying? does this make sense now...why i ponder even trying to make contact.. break my strict rule.. if not reread or ask me more questions Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 Show some self respect for yourself ... Move on ... You don't seem to get how foolish you are looking to her ... you seem to think that you can just WIN someone back.. you can't if they don't have it their heart anylonger. The more you push the further she will go away. You need to step back and give her space and time to really miss you NC and wait 3-6 months. Never speaking to her Link to post Share on other sites
Author strangelove Posted August 18, 2005 Author Share Posted August 18, 2005 Art critic..... You have no idea what has transpired.. Why is it you are only reading part of my posts? And hello your not a woman are you? Ok let me think about what im proposing here.. just a simple hello Have I won back women when they didnt want anything to do with me ? Yes I have. Sometimes by not bothering with them and sometimes trying to contact them. What ever happens is my decision my decision alone. IS IT POSSIBLE WE CAN STICK to the original thread and not pull my situation into this? Ok UPSET AND HURT what would you want your ex to say or what could they say? and art critic if you want to pretend you are your welcome to post your thoughts.. Otherwise no more lectures please.. Link to post Share on other sites
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