upsetnhurt Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 If my ex can't muster enough strength to contact me and earn my respect once again, then she is not worth it. I am still even confused as to if I would want someone back who has hurt and disrespected me. We are certainly not calling you a stalker strangelove, yet where will your actions stop in the future? If you broke up with these girls then I would think it would be your responsibility to contact them and show them that you care. You say that you have won people back in the past.......where are they now? Exactly! They never stay around as they realize that they left you for a reason and that reason within themselves hasn't changed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author strangelove Posted August 18, 2005 Author Share Posted August 18, 2005 The truth is I really am not all that interested in talking to her, well I would be if she was nice to me. I have been a having good time talking to other ladies lately, but I dont feel the same way about them as I do her. I guess Ill just stick to doing nothing which ive been told is doing something ala ART OF WAR. I guess I just wish I didnt have such a messed up love life. In any case since I dont intend to do anything.. damn you have no idea how many times I had to sit back and wait. I hate it. Can we continue on with this thread as an excercise in curiousity??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author strangelove Posted August 18, 2005 Author Share Posted August 18, 2005 How come when I posted WOMEN only guys posted to this thread? UPSET n HURT. it really is trivial wheter I am with these women still. The point is that I managed to get back with them. Its something I have never tried with her. SHe knows about me trying to get back with exes. Like I have said she has even turned it around whens she does come around... for now im not doing anything. I do find it funny though that men have a tendancy not to listen, disregard wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 We are looking out for your best interests strangelove.....so you win her back and enjoy yourself for another year or so...then what? She breaks your heart again and you spend another year sulking? Don't do it...life is too precious and short and you need to take advantage of it and make wiser decisions. It is her loss man! Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 Strangelove, I read this from another poster on another thread and it really helped me realize things....check it out. It is not perfectly related to your scenario yet it is similar in that you feel you need to offer your love to this girl as she will obviously not offer hers to you without it.......... "You aren't pushing her away from not contacting her. You are preventing her from using you as a doormat. Don't treat her like a girlfriend. She should only get that privilege as your girlfriend, when she agrees to commit to you and no longer has other desires. The ball is FIRMLY in her court now, make the benefits something she has to choose on your terms, not something she gets to take advantage of on her own terms. Make your heart a prize to be won, not some trinket to be used thoughtlessly. If she wants your heart, she is going to have to work for it, and make some REAL progress and choices if she wants it. Its something she needs to know that she has to choose, not something that she can 'expect'. Protect your heart. Keep it available only for someone who truly wants it, not someone who uses it as a placeholder while her heart is with some other guy. When she is ready, she gets it. Until she is, she doesn't. If you don't treat your heart like something of value, how can she be expected to" Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 Originally posted by dr strangelove Why is it you are only reading part of my posts? And hello your not a woman are you? This is a public forum.. You sound and are acting like you don't like my advice.. I have read all of your posts.. I'm done trying to help you good day Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 Originally posted by dr strangelove How come when I posted WOMEN only guys posted to this thread? your a man and you also don't seem to listen... This is a public forum men and women Link to post Share on other sites
Author strangelove Posted August 18, 2005 Author Share Posted August 18, 2005 You make me laugh. If you only knew that which I cant reveal.. thanks for the chuckle Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 strangelove, You make me chuckle too.........wanna know why women have not posted to your thread???? Same reason they don't seem to stay with you..............cause you like wasting people's time. Link to post Share on other sites
sundrop Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 Hi Guys, Female posting here. Dr. Strangelove, It seems to me you have told her how you feel. I agree with another poster here. The ball is in her court. My advice, back off for a while. If she truely wants to be with you, then she will be. It sounds like to me she is just toying with you and keeping you on the back burner. Granted I don't know your life story with this girl, but sounds like to me she is just toying with you. I am in the same situation you are in. I told my ex how I felt and was very honest with him as to what I want. I know he still cares for me, but I just hope over time that will be enough to get us back together. But I have had to back off, and give him time to breath. My ex has the ball, I have given him the power, but in the mean time I can't stress over every little sread of hope he gives me, I will drive myself nuts, I know if I went over there we would hook up, but then two days later I would be back at square one. Its really hard to be n our situation, But you also have to respect yourself, respecting myself is much more importatnt than anything else. You told her how you feel and what you want. Time to stand your ground now. Don't take anyless than what you want. Don't take her scrapes she's throwing you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author strangelove Posted August 18, 2005 Author Share Posted August 18, 2005 You know its very difficult for me to stay postive these days. Ive been constantly close to suicide. I had the bst of intention when posting this. I felt pretty good. I was hoping this was a new wave I was riding. I gotta bail from this before I lose my frame of mind. Upset n hurt and art critic you make me feel worse then I am and I want to thank you very much for that. This is susposed to be a supportive community. I asked a specific question.. and this had become a mud slinging fest. So im not perfect, at least im not a drunk, or a druggie, I dont borrow money from people, im pretty stand up when comes down to it. I just really dont want to get into this anymore.. its futile. Most people on here are very narrowed minded, there is only one way that things can be accomplished. Link to post Share on other sites
sundrop Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 Dr strangelove, I don't' think their post was intended to be brutal. I think somepoint are just very blunt in voicing their opions, and that is what this post is, is opions. We are just giving advice to each other on this site. It's your choice to take our advice, but honestly, most of us will do what we feel in our hearts. We are all human and most people are very hopeful for the future and most of us at some point in our life want our ex back. That is human. Monday I though I was going to lose my mind and started having a panic attack worrying abut my ex and tank goodness I picked up the phone and called a friend and she calmed me down. We don't want to see you hurt or strung along anymore than you have to be. And you deserve better than what she is giving you. And cutting your life short isn't going to solve anything, you will only miss out on some fantastic love in your future. Other than cutting your life short, do what you feel is in your heart. If you feel contacting her and pooring your heart out is going to make you feel better and do it. If you need to go away for the weekend and clear your head than do it. Do what is best for you and your situation. You are the only one who knows you and your ex, we can only read the post and advise from their. Please don't get upset and do anything drastic, that is not what anybody was intending to do. Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 Strange, I am sorry if I offended you. Realize that my answers are not provided to ensure your happiness with the situation......all I am trying to do is to rationalize any future actions that you might be inclined to act upon. With that, do what you wish and who knows....maybe it will work. I am sure you are a great guy and deserve the best and will eventually be as happy as can be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author strangelove Posted August 18, 2005 Author Share Posted August 18, 2005 maybe I just want you to see theres more then one solution. But at this point I have to try and recover my mojo. Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 strangelove...... I admit there are tons of options and who knows which will work.....yet each comes with a different level of risk of you getting hurt. Whichever you choose, just know the ramifications that could result from them. Best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
butterfly29 Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 Dr strangelove, Here are my two cents. You sent her a nice email telling her about how you feel, she called you back 7 times and you didn't answer her calls... And now you're wondering why she thinks you're playing games with her? And doesn't believe you? Seems to me all you need to do is grow up. From what I see here in your posts, you ask people for their advices and then get mad at them when they tell you things you don't like to hear. You get frustrated telling them they don't know your story and too quick to judge. Well of course they don't! Because all you told us were bits and pieces. From what I hear your posts say, you aren't even sure yourself whether or not you want to talk to her. I would be kinda aprehensive to trust someone like that myself. And no, your last email doesn't sound stalkish to me. Just pointless. You see, your words and behaviour towards her isn't consistant. You write her email, she responds by calling. Not what you expected, you want email instead. So you freak out and bail. Then afterwards you write a nice innocent little email expecting to get the same nice little innocent email in return. Naturally, you don't. You go to the forum, ask for an advice, don't get the answers you want, bail! You can't control other people's reactions to your behaviour, keep that in mind, even though you think you can. Link to post Share on other sites
Author strangelove Posted August 18, 2005 Author Share Posted August 18, 2005 I invite you all to look at my responses to other peoples threads. I always 99% try to support their intentions. I dont beging to attack thier character. ou sound and are acting like you don't like my advice. Theres advice and there attacking someone. I dont need someone questioning my manhood or or masculinity... "You sound and are acting like you don't like my advice. Im done trying to help you" How does attacking my character help me? This is a fine example of the world.. a minute microcosm right in this post.. some people see you trying to rise above.. nope cant have that better smash it down. Some people wish to help you along the journey... Now I think i understand what my wiccan advisor (oops im sure that will get thrown at me) meant by being on top of a hill and people try to get me down from there or get up to where I am. I guess its like this. I made some progress, then I made a mistake. Part of my reasoning for not picking up that phone was thinking back to post on this forum about nope dont talk to them till they are begging for you back. What a conmplete brainwash Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 Originally posted by dr strangelove "You sound and are acting like you don't like my advice. Im done trying to help you" Ya know.. Strange .. If you go back and read your previous post directed at me that YOU wrote concerning me.. Oh here it is .. Originally posted by dr strangelove Why is it you are only reading part of my posts? And hello your not a woman are you? You basically said that because I was man that you don't want my opinions and posts .. and you accused me of only reading part of your posts.. I read all of your posts.. evidently you never read any of ours that didn't fit into what you wanted to hear.. If you wanted a pat on the back and reassurance that you were right then you should of asked for that.. instead you asked for advice ... YOU ASKED FOR ADVICE .. sorry nobody posted what you wanted to hear. Originally posted by dr strangelove .please open up your fountain of knowledge to me sp that I might drink from it... I post pulling from my experience as a 42 year old human being and if you can't respect that then so be it.. I only posted back onto this thread because you are now using my words out of context to forward your own aggenda..What ever that is.. I also would like to add that I did stop posting on your thread out of respect for you because you told me that I wasn't a woman and you only wanted to hear from women. I hope you get it all worked out between you two. Cheers Link to post Share on other sites
country gal Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 not to go all philosophical on you ..... but strangelove, you sound like an intelligent person and i find that sometimes intelligent people overthink everythign, which is what i think you are doing. just slow down, breathe, stop thinking, and listen to yourself for a while. you know what is best for you - trust it! Link to post Share on other sites
april Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Originally posted by dr strangelove Art critic..... You have no idea what has transpired.. Why is it you are only reading part of my posts? And hello your not a woman are you? Ok let me think about what im proposing here.. just a simple hello Have I won back women when they didnt want anything to do with me ? Yes I have. Sometimes by not bothering with them and sometimes trying to contact them. What ever happens is my decision my decision alone. IS IT POSSIBLE WE CAN STICK to the original thread and not pull my situation into this? Ok UPSET AND HURT what would you want your ex to say or what could they say? and art critic if you want to pretend you are your welcome to post your thoughts.. Otherwise no more lectures please.. Well, well look who's back...... Oh, and I'd drop the 'love' part in your screen name if I were you. It doesn't suit you. LOOK STRANGE! you started posting last year about your breakup and the ex...you were using the screen name "strange love"...everyone was supportive and giving you great advice...and this is how you showed your appreciation : Originally posted by strangelove on 12th July 2005 This might be my last post on here. Why this place has become a CRUTCH I hope one of you has something to say that gets me further along, but yet its all negative. And I realized most of you fail to read between the lines. My ex has told me to get lost 100 of times.. then she comes back around wondering why I havent called or stuff like you havent contacted me lately etc.. duh!! And she has been calling me.. she just blocks the number..... Anyways whatever this is my last post, im on my own from here on in. It looks pretty grim but I think I have been through alot of hopeless situations only to see them turn around by me not giving up. Good luck everyone one here Ciao!! Now you're back as "dr stranglove" We are not experts, what do you expect from us??? April Link to post Share on other sites
april Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 and just to add : POF is not an internet acronym..... You just made that up, didn't you? April Link to post Share on other sites
ButtonPusher Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Lol could you (april) possible be this guys ex?? For you strangelove, it really seems that the best thing for you to do is to stay well away from this woman. She sounds like she has some issues that maybe you know about, maybe you dont, but whatever is going on, its screwing you up. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Originally posted by dr strangelove You know its very difficult for me to stay postive these days. Ive been constantly close to suicide. I had the bst of intention when posting this. I felt pretty good. I was hoping this was a new wave I was riding. I gotta bail from this before I lose my frame of mind. If interacting with people on the board is stressing you out, then it's best to take a break from it. Then again, it doesn't do any harm to remind yourself of all the different personalities and viewpoints there are out there - and develop a bit of tolerance for people who don't share your approach to problem solving. That cuts both ways, of course....fans of the simplistic "I tell it as it is and everything can be reduced to black and white terms" approach are often quite insulting towards people who prefer to think more abstractly. Dr Strangelove, I get the impression that you're here to seek some validation. There's nothing wrong with that at all, but not everyone's going to play the game the way you want them to. You can't change that. You can, however, learn to manage your own feelings about, and responses to, it. People sometimes develop suicide ideation because they feel completely out of control of everything. Do you see how you're trying to change the way people post on this board? You're setting yourself an impossible task there - one that's going to leave you feeling frustrated, depressed and misunderstood. Controlling other people or forcing them to see things the way you see them? Forget it. It's an unhealthy and impossible goal. Accepting that the world is made up on many different views and personality types, and focusing on just managing yourself and the way you think about things is an awful lot easier. Link to post Share on other sites
Author strangelove Posted August 20, 2005 Author Share Posted August 20, 2005 Hmm I dont know what to say anymore. Im more use to everyone when Im not to thinking about my ex or how to fix the situation. Its not exactly something I can walk away from. I have. To loose quote the words of abbey hoffman, the time apart from her makes my feelings for her grow. I just wish I could find some simple words to write to her, that would transcend any feelings of anger, and distrust. As she is truly a woman scorned. I wish I could find the simple words to make her stop and think. NC seems like a stalemate to me. Eventually while practicing the art of war you have to pull some move to make the other side show its hand. Link to post Share on other sites
april Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 Originally posted by dr strangelove Its not exactly something I can walk away from. I think you can....some things in life can't be fixed, unfortunately. ...... April Link to post Share on other sites
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