How to Make Tinder Work For You

[Cobra_X]

You go to a fruit store and pick the most shiny and perfect fruits. If there arent perfect, you pick the best looking. Maybe being perfect dont translate to better taste when you eat them, but you prefer those.

So as a woman, if you are presented all these men, wouldnt you choose the most good looking guys first?

Thats what happens on those sites, either you are a 10/10 or you will have a hard time.

 

Warp123.... You don't have to be a 10/10 in looks. I promise you that if you get professional pictures of you engaging in fun activities that you enjoy, women will match with you.

 

In the picture you should dress well. Use a style that fits your personality and compliments your body shape.

The picture should also represent you doing something that you enjoy. I love sailing. I'm a member of a yacht club that allows me to rent small sailboats.

 

When I did my pictures it took about 1 hour. I brought multiple changes of clothes... ironed and ready. We went to the docks and did some pictures of me working on a sailboat. Then we went to a park and did some pictures there in a different outfit. Then we went to downtown 20 minutes away and took photos there in a third change of clothes.

 

I did these pictures for a startup company I was creating. When the startup failed I used them on Tinder and my success rate jumped incredibly high. I'm not super handsome.

 

Who ever recommended bathroom selfies tho

You should NOT be posting bathroom selfies, if that wasn't clear already. We were discussing having your picture taken by/with your friends.

If you can get a photographer to take a shot of you *actually shredding a wave* that is awesome. The big problem w hiring a photographer to take your pictures is that it looks too contrived. Anyone can tell that this is what you did, and women will be wondering why you even needed to be doing so.

I will say it again: Most of the guys who are cleaning up on Tinder did not hire professional photographers, either to follow them around and take shots of these guys in action, or to do these contrived photoshoots.

 

Two points.

1. If you have professional photos that look contrived then your photographer sucks. The majority of people cannot tell pro photos from friends with cell phones. To them it just looks like a good picture. Women especially decide to match within 2 to 3 seconds of looking at your pics.

2. Of course most of the dudes cleaning up on Tinder are naturally photogenic. Maybe it takes a bit more work for you... but normal guys can also compete.

 

Stop complaining and go give it a try. $100 and you get good photos that you can show your grandkids some day. I don't know why you are so negative and resistant to reality. Are you just afraid to drop the cash?

[Cobra_X]

I'm not fond of pics with friends. It's better than a pic with another woman, but not by much. I guess I am just too generous in assuming that the guy has friends/a social life even if he doesn't post a picture of it. The friend pic distracts. Oftentimes, his friend is hotter. Sometimes it's obvious he chose a less attractive friend to seem more attractive. It also takes up time to look at a pic of two or more people and pick out the one that is advertising themselves and it is at least subconsciously frustrating.

Taken by your friends on phone is just fine. As long as it's clear and you look good. You also may note many people have friends who are 'professional' photographers (basically anyone with a good dslr cam these days)

 

I believe most women agree with you on this. Pictures with friends are bad ones to use. Most cell phone cameras have a focal center. Anyone too far forward or back of the focal length will be slightly out of focus. This will increase with the distance from the focal point. Cell phone cameras often have software built in to adjust for this, which can create minor distortions to the color and shape of a persons face.

 

Yes, anyone with a DSLR can take high resolution pictures. However, you should pick someone who understands lighting and composition. Someone who knows what angle will make you look the most interesting and flattering.

 

Check out this group of photos. The woman is slim, lacking good hips, and not very busty, however still very pretty. Look at how some poses flatter her and accentuate the positive aspects of her body shape while minimizing potential negatives. Now any guy that dates her is going to be more than happy with her build once they are meeting up in person and the pheromones start connecting. The good photos will help her get to that point. Do you see a pose that might work good for you?

 

Plus... and lets be honest here. Who doesn't want have some pics to use where they look good. Good pictures can even help your career.

 

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/43/11/6f/43116f49e7b3636a0553f1b17697c682.jpg

[Cookiesandough]

Lighting and all that does factor in, but most if not all professional photographers edit and retouch their photos. The girl in that picture is a naturally very pretty girl so of course she is going to look great, but she has obviously been retouched. I think those photos poses/scene are too forced. It might just be a matter of opinion, but it looks stock image-y to me. I wouldn't post a pic like that on a dating app because I think I would lose interest from men thinking I was using a stock photo. I've mentioned this before, but I'm an avg looking girl who had pics taken by my friend who is a new photographer working on her portfolio. She is building a studio in her house. Anyway, I had 2 pics from that session on Tinder and the rest just selfies. 70% of the guys I matched first words to me were "fake?" etc. No one wants to go through that. Guys I've met told me they were wary I was a catfish or using enhanced pics and were relieved I looked the same. Anyway, they said they were wary to meet. This happened even before, but it got worse with the 'fancy' pics. So women need to be careful using pics that are too contrived/stock image looking. It won't improve online dating success, might even make things more difficult as it did in my xp because I like to meet right away and don't share social media etc.

 

It may be different for men however, if like you said, it's taken well and you aren't able to tell the difference between an iphone shot and professional shot...It's just clearer/looks better. But I do not suggest to men the equivalent of the pic series you linked at all. Too try-hard/glamour shotish. A photographer should work to get you comfortable and take organic pictures when you're distracted and capture 'you'. Some people(like myself) are stiff in front of a camera when they know it's happening. But they can catch you off-guard. I think the best sessions are hours long and you become comfortable with the photographer, but that's not practical. But say if you're surfing, they should catch shots of you when you're distracted and laughing so it looks like you're naturally happy and not 'posed'

Edited November 6, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[Cobra_X]

Lighting and all that does factor in, but most if not all professional photographers edit and retouch their photos. The girl in that picture is a naturally very pretty girl so of course she is going to look great, but she has obviously been retouched. I think those photos poses/scene are too forced. It might just be a matter of opinion, but it looks stock image-y to me. I wouldn't post a pic like that on a dating app because I think I would lose interest from men thinking I was using a stock photo. I've mentioned this before, but I'm an avg looking girl who had pics taken by my friend who is a new photographer working on her portfolio. She is building a studio in her house. Anyway, I had 2 pics from that session on Tinder and the rest just selfies. 70% of the guys I matched first words to me were "fake?" etc. No one wants to go through that. Guys I've met told me they were wary I was a catfish or using enhanced pics and were relieved I looked the same. Anyway, they said they were wary to meet. This happened even before, but it got worse with the 'fancy' pics. So women need to be careful using pics that are too contrived/stock image looking. It won't improve online dating success, might even make things more difficult as it did in my xp because I like to meet right away and don't share social media etc.

It may be different for men however, if like you said, it's taken well and you aren't able to tell the difference between an iphone shot and professional shot...It's just clearer/looks better. But I do not suggest to men the equivalent of the pic series you linked at all. Too try-hard/glamour shotish. A photographer should work to get you comfortable and take organic pictures when you're distracted and capture 'you'. Some people(like myself) are stiff in front of a camera when they know it's happening. But they can catch you off-guard. I think the best sessions are hours long and you become comfortable with the photographer, but that's not practical. But say if you're surfing, they should catch shots of you when you're distracted and laughing so it looks like you're naturally happy and not 'posed'

 

Of course those pictures look like stock photography... the background shows they were shot in a studio. Anything shot in a studio will give people a professional photo feel. The point was to look at the poses the model uses, figure out which one is most flattering to YOU and then practice it in a mirror until it looks natural.

 

If you pay the photographer then you get to dictate how the pictures turn out. Most pros will not want to use Photoshop, they will instead use Lightroom to enhance colors. You will look the same but the lighting will be different. Here is an example.

 

https://cnet2.cbsistatic.com/img/NuWSdjsDHW270Z-fgW36pNQLliI=/936x527/2016/10/18/9e19f21a-e543-4994-a092-380dcb1c829a/thumbnail-gallery.jpg

 

What was your match %? If you like a guy and swiped right... what percentage of those resulted in matches?

 

Ok... so if guys are responding asking if you are fake or not that means you are above average in looks. I don't know what you look like, but just based on this I would guess that men tend to rate you as very attractive.

 

The way to address this issue is in the profile wording. Explain that your friend is a photographer and you are helping her build a portfolio. This may also help you weed out douchebags who don't read your profile. If they still come across asking if you are fake.

[Cookiesandough]

I try to keep good posture. Some photos in that set look natural or comfortable but some do not look like she is natural or comfy to me

 

 

I see. I know nothing about photography. I just know someone who does it. I am average looking. There are a lot of bots/catfish/scammers on Tinder. They've become smart enough to use avg people. I match with everyone I swipe to my knowledge but I'm a woman so that is no feat. It's not about matches so much as a few of the men being wary to meet at first and we talk about this when we do. I think women and men should do professional pics as long as they don't look too "done" to minimize this and other problems encountered that way

Edited November 6, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[RecentChange]

Yeah but they can play around with makeup and lighting (also possibly only using shots from certain angles) to make you look better than you actually are...

 

I have had some professional photos done (not for dating) - and I look way better in them than real life.

 

Just playing with lighting, focus, shadows etc they can make images that just don't happen in real life.

 

As for pro photos for dating.... If it was some head shots that look like they were taken for their career that is one thing - otherwise I would think that they were trying ttoo hard.

[Cobra_X]

I try to keep good posture. Some photos in that set look natural or comfortable but some do not look like she is natural or comfy to me

I see. I know nothing about photography. I just know someone who does it. I am average looking. There are a lot of bots/catfish/scammers on Tinder. They've become smart enough to use avg people. I match with everyone I swipe to my knowledge but I'm a woman so that is no feat. It's not about matches so much as a few of the men being wary to meet at first and we talk about this when we do. I think women and men should do professional pics as long as they don't look too "done" to minimize this and other problems encountered that way

 

100%?.... a 100% match rate? Your ELO score must be off the charts.

 

I think maybe you fall into that sweet spot where you are significantly better looking than average, but not to the point of being intimidating. That used to be called "the girl next door" look.

 

If you are afraid of being labeled as a bot, maybe pick some guys who are friends and run the pictures past them first.

 

Back when I was in my early 20's... I really had no idea whether I was good looking or not. I took maybe 3 or 4 of my best photos and put them up on this site called HotorNot.com for women to rate me. My first photo got a 5 and I never used it again. I had 2 photos that got 5.8 and 6.1. I'm average on the best of days. If you are curious maybe that website is still around... or something like it.

[Cookiesandough]

Im not sure if its 100. Actually, I highly doubt it. It's not possible. It's just hard to tell because I match with many and sometimes we automatically match or they swipe me after. I just dont recall ever not matching with someone I really wanted to and I am sort of selective. I dont feel there's a good selection online.

 

 

I think guys swipe right on everything vaguely resembling female human. I take that back because once I messed up my picture order and had a photo of just my bunny(just my bun)as my main and still got matches/messages. lol. So it doesn't need to be human.

 

If I choose the pics I like, I get called catfish/bot by someone...It's inevitable. Doesn't matter if it's professional or not. I just noticed it was worse when it looked like my pics looked too 'forced'. I don't know, may it's just some weird compliment guys like to give women on online dating, like "you're too cute to be here",? but it annoys me. doubt it.there are better ways to flatter/appeal to ego without having someone need to defend their existence. When we meet, when they bring it up it's a turn off.

 

I have heard of that HotorNot site and I wouldn't do it!!!lol It seems so vain. Also, I wouldnt want to know my 'number' lol. I don't see how it would help me. Ignorance is bliss. I just know I'm decent enough but nothing too special. It's very funny to me that you went on there and put pics. I'm not sure why. I guess I never got the impression from your posts you'd use it. 7 is pretty good. I think 7 is great especially on that site. I dont like the 10 scale because I think that's I think that's too many numbers/too complicated. While dating, I see men as more...trimorphic. 'Wouldn't go with, would go with, would REALLLY go with)

 

I don't think I photograph very well at all (I guess most people feel that way)which I actually like on online dating as surprising as that may sound. That way I can actually impress more upon meeting,rather than disappoint

Edited November 7, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[Cookiesandough]

I'm thinking about trying professional pics again, but this time try to make them more natural. I don't know. I'm going back to online dating soon. I think my goal is just to meet new people and in turn I can learn more about humanity, including myself. It's fascinating to me to get firsthand peek into someones life for a moment and dating is the easiest way for me to do that. I hope i am successful. I liked the suggestion you gave for profile content. TY for this thread and the adivce

Edited November 7, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[Erik30]

Im not sure if its 100. Actually, I highly doubt it. It's not possible. It's just hard to tell because I match with many and sometimes we automatically match or they swipe me after. I just dont recall ever not matching with someone I really wanted to and I am sort of selective. I dont feel there's a good selection online.

 

 

I think guys swipe right on everything vaguely resembling female human. I take that back because once I messed up my picture order and had a photo of just my bunny(just my bun)as my main and still got matches/messages. lol. So it doesn't need to be human.

 

I'm currently just blindly swiping and I think a lot of guys are doing the same thing, so I guess that's how you could still get matches with your bunny picture. (Even though I like bunnies) Then if I'm not interested in the girl, I unmatch or just don't send a message. I sometimes get a match with a girl who doesn't have any pictures, or with types who are living abroad and are looking for a husband... I pretty much delete them immediately.

 

It does work pretty well though, since I'm getting multiple matches a day. I'd say I'm not interested in about half the girls I match with. Girls unmatched me all the time in the past, so I don't really feel bad about blindly swiping and deleting anymore.

 

I doubt you need professional pics by the way, if that was really you in the pictures you sometimes use on this site

Edited November 7, 2017 by Erik30

[warp123]

I'd have to wonder why those guys would need online dating. They'd have to have crippling social anxiety/agoraphobia or something

 

Why would 95% of the women need online dating then, when dating as a woman requires ZERO effort, just wait for the guys to approach and choose one of them. They are approached on social media, on the street, on the gym, at work... They only need to follow up with the guys they like and ignore the rest.

 

Whats the reason they are there then? I dont know, more dating options in just a few clicks (maybe they arent approached by guys they really like), discretion (you can make up who you are or where you work...)

[Cobra_X]

I dont feel there's a good selection online.

 

I think guys swipe right on everything vaguely resembling female human. I take that back because once I messed up my picture order and had a photo of just my bunny(just my bun)as my main and still got matches/messages. lol. So it doesn't need to be human.

may it's just some weird compliment guys like to give women on online dating, like "you're too cute to be here",? but it annoys me. doubt it.there are better ways to flatter/appeal to ego without having someone need to defend their existence.

 

I have heard of that HotorNot site and I wouldn't do it!!!lol It seems so vain. Also, I wouldnt want to know my 'number' lol. I don't see how it would help me. Ignorance is bliss. I just know I'm decent enough but nothing too special. It's very funny to me that you went on there and put pics. I'm not sure why. I guess I never got the impression from your posts you'd use it. 7 is pretty good. I think 7 is great especially on that site. I dont like the 10 scale because I think that's I think that's too many numbers/too complicated. While dating, I see men as more...trimorphic. 'Wouldn't go with, would go with, would REALLLY go with)

 

I actually like on online dating as surprising as that may sound. That way I can actually impress more upon meeting,rather than disappoint

 

Here is the thing, before online dating you just had to sit around and wait for guys to hit on you... and the most successful women were the ones that learned how to encourage a guy to approach them. Does that sound like you? I think online dating is good for some people because it creates an artificial environment where approaching people is easier.

 

Some guys right swipe everything and don't even look. Those are what we call idiots. They are bricking their own Tinder account by driving down the ELO score. Smart guys only swipe 5 to 10 a day and only ones that are attractive.

 

Calling you a Bot... maybe it's a backhanded compliment... or what some guys call a 'neg'. That technique should be reserved for cheerleader type girls. If you try that stuff with Smart or Nerdy girls it just pisses them off. Use backhanded compliments very sparingly. Remember that this technique works on guys as well.

 

I used the HotorNot sight when I was young because I had emotional issues. It's hard for most people to understand but I got bullied very bad in High School. I was shy, chubby, nerdy. I barely even talked to girls and thought none of them liked me. When I got to college I became co-captain of a sports team with an athletic scholarship... I spent nearly 5 hours a day exercising. I got to the point where I would get compliments every day from girls on my physique... but I still felt unattractive. It's not something most people can relate to but I eventually grew out of it. I became a very confident and emotionally secure adult.

 

I'm thinking about trying professional pics again, but this time try to make them more natural. I don't know. I'm going back to online dating soon. I think my goal is just to meet new people and in turn I can learn more about humanity, including myself. It's fascinating to me to get firsthand peek into someones life for a moment and dating is the easiest way for me to do that. I hope i am successful. I liked the suggestion you gave for profile content. TY for this thread and the adivce

 

My suggestion is to make them pictures of you doing something.

 

I wish you good luck in finding the kind of boy you want. My only advice to you is to not be afraid of getting a broken heart.

[JustGettingBy]

Honestly, the trick is to not give up after getting nothing the first week or so. I got nothing for the first couple weeks, but am now getting one every week or two (a few previous swipes swiped me back, I guess).

 

Go on every day, but be smart about who you swipe, giving them sparingly.