2nd Advice needed

[John]

I wrote a couple of weeks ago about how I told my friend that I was starting to have feelings for her. And she told me that she "didn't want to ruin our friendship over a relationship". I got three responses. They all told me the same thing. To just let it go and if I still wanted to be friends with her, then talk to her as in socially, but don't get "in too deep" like I was in. My question is this, how can I let go of these feelings when I have her calling me everyday, wanting me to go over her house, and telling me that she "misses me"?? I do call her and gone to her house twice since but I've slowed down dramatically from before. Plz, anyone is welcomed for advice.

[chick]

This girl is completely leading you on and being very unfair. she can't just tell you one thing and do another. tell her how you feel and ask her straight out for an honest opinion about how she feels about you. maybe she has changed her mind about having a relationship with you. i know its not easy to let go of strong feelings you have for someone though. so see what she says and if she still just wants to be friends, then i would keep my distance, for your own sake. and tell her that you don't appreciate her leading you on. i know there's nothing worse than unrequited love.

[Tony T]

chick is totally right. You are not being very nice to yourself at all. Just tell this gal how you feel. Let her know you want to upgrade the friendship. See how she feels about it.

 

Sure, you might screw up the friendship if she feels differently but, if that happens, the friendship isn't for long anyway. If she doesn't feel the same way about you, once she starts dating somebody else, she won't have time for you and her boyfriend won't want her seeing much of you. And you will feel like crap too.

 

If this gal isn't going to give you what you want from her, stay away from her altogether. In a few years, when she's married and has a couple of kids, maybe you can babysit for her while she and her husband go out on dates.

 

In situations like this, usually the girl like the guy but doesn't want any more than a friendship because he is WAY TOO NICE TO HER. He is too nice to kiss off but not nearly enough of a challenge to make him a love object. If you're one of these guys who is too nice, you better change now because ladies don't go for a guy who kisses their butt too much. They don't like a guy who is very predictable.

 

Meanwhile, be nice to yourself. It is pretty lame to put yourself through the emotional crap you have to to be friends with someone you care about a lot more than that. And it has to END sooner or later when she becomes involved with someone else. You're just setting yourself up for some real pain and sorrow. Not a kind thing to do to yourself.