tomboi Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 Dated this girl for 3 months everything was amazing then soon things got boring we Haven't been on a date in a month except going out with mutual friends. Soo I told her about my insecurities of past relationship. And that you're repeating it by hanging out with guys alone. She then says they are just friends , that's exactly what my past 2 gf said and ending up cheating on me. Now after raising the issue of not going on dates and and my insecurities, she wasn't even interested in talking about it then says she needs a break for a while ,I told her lest just Break up and finish this up, she says she doesn't want to break up with sad face, I ask for how long the break will last she says Idk. So next day she first thing she does goes out with a guy for coffee while we haven't been out for a month togather. I am confused and hurting like always , sorry for being a pussy but I catch feelings fast and feel like crying lmao. What to do. Link to post Share on other sites
KBob Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 Break up with her, you're wasting your time with this one. It's what she really wants, she's just not strong enough to do the dirty work herself. Instead, she pushes you away and shuts off until you pull the plug. And after you break up with her go full no contact and move on with your life, there are plenty of other women out there that will want to spend time with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 I would not dump out right. Just let the break go on and block and then ghost her. Let her dangle the way she did you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 A break is a break up. Don't kid yourself. They are not different. There are no time outs in dating. This girl is not on the same page as you. She's been out of this relationship for a least 1/3 of it's existence. Cry if you need to; tears are cathartic but understand whatever this was, it's over. You want a steady, reliable GF. She wants to play the field. You two are fundamentally incompatible. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 She doesn't want to break up because she wants to test the waters with other guys before ending it with you. Right now you're her back-up plan. Best to lose her and keep your self-respect. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 breakup with her. That will ensure you have kept your dignity. This is why we date people...to learn what is healthy and unhealthy, what our needs and expectations are, and are they being fulfilled. You live you learn you grow you move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 Just dump her and don't be a chump... You have seen it twice and you know what is going on. Here is the deal. Let them come to you, always. When they choose to pull back for whatever reason, it is dumping time. You know what to do... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JEG88 Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 Don't let her cheating affect you. This girl never saw you as long-term material. Move on and find someone better. I would not dump out right. Just let the break go on and block and then ghost her. Let her dangle the way she did you. My spiteful side agrees with this though. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BMI03 Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 Dated this girl for 3 months everything was amazing then soon things got boring we Haven't been on a date in a month except going out with mutual friends. Soo I told her about my insecurities of past relationship. And that you're repeating it by hanging out with guys alone. She then says they are just friends , that's exactly what my past 2 gf said and ending up cheating on me. Now after raising the issue of not going on dates and and my insecurities, she wasn't even interested in talking about it then says she needs a break for a while ,I told her lest just Break up and finish this up, she says she doesn't want to break up with sad face, I ask for how long the break will last she says Idk. So next day she first thing she does goes out with a guy for coffee while we haven't been out for a month togather. I am confused and hurting like always , sorry for being a pussy but I catch feelings fast and feel like crying lmao. What to do. Dump her. You rained on her parade by calling out her on hanging out with other guys. So she wants a break so she can see other men and not feel guilty about it. Don't be ok with her taking a time out so she can play with someone else for a while and then bring you back. There are enough women out there who will treat you better than that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 Now after raising the issue of not going on dates and and my insecurities, she wasn't even interested in talking about it then says she needs a break for a while ,I told her lest just Break up and finish this up, she says she doesn't want to break up with sad face, I ask for how long the break will last she says Idk. What to do. She s telling you with a big Billboard along the highway of broken hearts that she just isn't really that into you. And that if if you protest, then she will go off the radar and come back when she wants, and expect you to just take it. What the hell are you doing? Call her bluff. It is a win-win for you if you do. If you call her bluff and she sees where you are coming from, and adjusts her attitude accordingly, it's a win! If she doesn't...it's a WIN too! Because you no longer will be playing second fiddle. Too much drama. Release her to her destiny now and get her out of your life or you'll be sorry. I guarantee it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tomboi Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 Break up with her, you're wasting your time with this one. It's what she really wants, she's just not strong enough to do the dirty work herself. Instead, she pushes you away and shuts off until you pull the plug. And after you break up with her go full no contact and move on with your life, there are plenty of other women out there that will want to spend time with you. She called me today I didn't pick up, she called me again 30 mins later picked the phone and said I am out for dinner with my parents (which I was). She asked when will I call back I said around 10-11 she said we'll talk tomorrow then. She said this in a normal sweet voice like everything is alright now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tomboi Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 She s telling you with a big Billboard along the highway of broken hearts that she just isn't really that into you. And that if if you protest, then she will go off the radar and come back when she wants, and expect you to just take it. What the hell are you doing? Call her bluff. It is a win-win for you if you do. If you call her bluff and she sees where you are coming from, and adjusts her attitude accordingly, it's a win! If she doesn't...it's a WIN too! Because you no longer will be playing second fiddle. Too much drama. Release her to her destiny now and get her out of your life or you'll be sorry. I guarantee it. I guess you're totally right. She called me today I didn't pick up, she called me again 30 mins later picked the phone and said I am out for dinner with my parents (which I was). She asked when will I call back I said around 10-11 she said we'll talk tomorrow then. She said this in a normal sweet voice like everything is alright now. You're right about the go off and come back to radar thingy. I guess I'll call it friends and date other women which I have noticed around who look at me often. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tomboi Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 A break is a break up. Don't kid yourself. They are not different. There are no time outs in dating. This girl is not on the same page as you. She's been out of this relationship for a least 1/3 of it's existence. Cry if you need to; tears are cathartic but understand whatever this was, it's over. You want a steady, reliable GF. She wants to play the field. You two are fundamentally incompatible. Soo what do I say ,how do I break up with her if she asks an explanation or to tell her at least the reason why. Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 My young brother... If you have to say something to her you say, "Baby, we're done." I don't really know why you care???? BTW, you realize why she can't talk at 11:00, right? Cause she will be screwing her new guy by then. Just move on... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Soo what do I say ,how do I break up with her if she asks an explanation or to tell her at least the reason why. Tell her the truth: It bothered you when she was hanging out with other guys. You gave her the break she wanted & what you learned during it, while you were apart, is that you were better off without her & her games / indecision Then get on with your life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 Soo what do I say ,how do I break up with her if she asks an explanation or to tell her at least the reason why. She'll know why.... Which is why in your shoes, since she didn't give you a heads up that she was all about other guys, well then I guess you don't really have to give her a heads up as to why you dropped off the face of the Earth. People like this....young man, they are not even worth attempting to get anything back you may have left with them. Just go Dark on her and delete her from your life. And let it be a lesson you can learn from in later relationships that you are not going to be anyone's fool. Don't take it from me though...take it from Lord Humungous in "The Road Warrior"... "Just walk away, and there will be an end to the horror.....just walk away". 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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