her boobs are sticking out of her shirt all the time and i am sick of it!!

[candy candy candy]

i work for a small family owned company. only the brother, mom and my fiance really work there and then there are us runners and another girl that works there and a boy who comes in and helps too sometimes as does the girl.

so when ever i have to go in there twice a week two times each day, i see this girl there. she is around 17 or 18 and hopefully will be back in school soon!!! she is very attractive with a great body and she knows it too.

 

she wears these skimpy tops with her boobs sticking out all over the top! now i have boobs too and my body is not that bad, of course i am NOT 17 or `18 anymore either..i am 48 and have had a few kids so my body is not near as built as hers nor ever was it.

 

my finace does not noticeably take notice of her when he is working there which is daily. but i have complained to my boss about her atire which is totally not family oritented for this business as there are alot of customers in and out.

 

ok..so today i was there and once again she was dressed like a slut with her boobs sticking out the top of her shirt and her shirt only a half shirt and very very tight jeans. yeah sure if i was a guy i'd probably be hitting on her too.

 

so for some reason today i extremely pissed at her. i have never really spoken to her either though she has been around there for quite some time now but i do not hardly even acknowledge her either cause i do not like her. when she started working there and i came in she was literally snubbing her nose at me!!! so piss on her, i dont need her.

 

so back today though when i was leaving my fiance was coming back with lunch for him, his mom and her. i hung around to see if he was going to go sit at the table with her. he didnt and she ate at her desk too.

 

i left there inn such a fricken tiff that i literally went to the local clothing store and tried on all sorts of low cut tops! several bras that were like push up bras, not that i need to be pushed up but to make more of a noticeable cleavage.

 

my point was to buy some very sexy tops and parade around in them and making sure my finace saw me in them and looked at me and if it bothered him i was gonig to tell him why it should not bother him cause he sits there some days all day with her chest in his face across the room!!!

 

ok. so i am not really jealous per se, but the thought of my fiace having to sit there day after day well when she comes in anyways and look at her whether he wants to or not cause you cannot help but notice this girls chest. so i am sick of this being thrusted in his face! no more would he like it if i sat around all day with some guy in spandex!!!! my piont!

 

so i left the stupid clothing store with only one very nice bra and not any clothes either cept for my grand son, lol. so i was so angry with him and he never even did anything and i hate her for dressing like that and my boss wont do schmidt about it either and these are suppose to be such "christian catholics" yeah right!

 

even the pastor that was in there the other day stared at this girl and my fiance was embarrassed! at least he has the deceny to be embarrassed. i dont know if dressing myself more sexy would help anything anyways, lol. my fiance NEVER gives me reason to be jealous. he is a gem in that regard and he never looks in front of me at other women and in fact he will turn his head if he saw a women dressed like that in front of me but what can he do here? not that he sits and goggles at her but i am sure he is pleased with what he sees and does not mind one bit sneaking in a peak here and there and that is even fine as she is very attractive.

 

the problem is my own issue. i am not low in self esteem. it is just her dressing this say in front of him that is getting my goat! any suggestions? i feel like going up to her and telling her to quit dressing like a slut in front of my fiance! since no one else wants to say anything i feel that i should but i wont but it is hard for me to keep my mouth shut lately! thanks for listening!

[LucreziaBorgia]

it is just her dressing this say in front of him that is getting my goat!

 

Are you certain its for him? Is there a possibility that she just likes to dress that way?

[lindya]

Originally posted by candy candy candy

i feel like going up to her and telling her to quit dressing like a slut in front of my fiance! since no one else wants to say anything i feel that i should but i wont but it is hard for me to keep my mouth shut lately!

 

Well for your own sake, please try! A lot of 18 year old girls dress provocatively. So do a lot of much older women. It doesn't make them sluts, and it's not a personal slur on you. They're just enjoying strutting their stuff, and why not?

 

If you find a sexy item of clothing that suits you and that you feel comfortable in then go for it, but don't start dressing like a hooker in order to compete with a teenager. That would be graceless and - I'm sorry, but it has to be said...100% pitiful.

 

What makes an older woman attractive? Confidence, wit, sophistication and a philosophical outlook on life. Those are the things you might need to start cultivating in order to feel better about yourself. You don't need to be 18 years old to be seductive, but resenting teenage girls for their youthful sexiness and trying to compete with them by dressing in their style is about as far away from seductive as you can get. I hope that doesn't come across as too harsh. I just think you need to develop your own style, feel comfortable and happy in it...and not waste time and energy in the pointless task of wishing yourself back to an earlier age.

[candy candy candy]

oh no i didnt mean to imply that she was dressing this way for him. this is her everyday dressing that she does regardless of who is there.

[candy candy candy]

lindya. point taken! probably why i didnt buy anything at the clothing store today! there were several theres that i tried on and i looked good in them too but i felt soooo uncomfortable as that is just not ME! i am not really trying to compete with her and not sure she even has a clue as to how i feel. i have seen her there several times and for some reason today just got to me, ,maybe cuz she was sitting right there across the room from him where as she is normally in another room. i am not going to stoop so low as to try to dress the part of a teen. i know when i was her age my family, my sisters and even my mother called me a "slut" to my face many a times for the way i dressed.

 

i had my turn and i know it is her turn now and that is fine. but does she need to do it there? in front of my fiance and the others as well that claim they dont like it yet say nothing to her? what is up with that?! inclusing my future mother in law who brought it up in the fist place yet said nothing. i even suggested to my boss to put a note in her pay check about proper business atire even if my fiance didnt work there i would not like her working there dressed like that, it is totally tacky!

[quankanne]

sounds like she just doesn't understand the difference between work dress and casual dress. maybe you can get the boss's wife to take her aside, or a manager, and explain in a non-threatening way that her clothes are nice, but not the right work attire.

 

we've got young college girls with lovely figures who dress age appropriately, and this is a church office! Some kind mama in the building will take it upon herself to let them know that because they are working with priests and nuns and the general public, they need to be a little more conservatively dressed, i.e., nothing that they'd wear out partying or dancing. And it's worked.

[lindya]

i didnt buy anything at the clothing store today! there were several theres that i tried on and i looked good in them too but i felt soooo uncomfortable as that is just not ME! i am not really trying to compete with her and not sure she even has a clue as to how i feel.

 

I'm glad. To be honest, it probably wouldn't occur to her to buy something that wasn't sexy. She's probably on a limited budget, maybe can't afford to have a separate "working girl" wardrobe...and just ends up wearing the same clothes for work that she wears for going out. Try to go easy on her If the clothes are too outrageous for work by any standards, you could check with the boss whether it would be appropriate to have a tactful word advising her of ways she could tone down her dress without relinquishing her style completely.

 

Whoops...kind of duplicated your post there, didn't I Quankanne!

[quankanne]

nah, just giving it some validation!

[kellyp1]

We had someone like that at my work. A memo ended up going out to the whole company addressing the proper way to dress at work because a client finally said something. And the funny thing was, this woman would get mad when the men were checking her out. Whatever...

 

She knows how she should dress at work. If she goes to family weddings, has ever been in church, etc... I would guess she has at least some proper clothes to wear to work. I would not close her out though, by you not talking to her, yes, I would say that maybe she does wear this stuff to get your goat a little too. You are appearing cold, distant, and nonapproachable. I tend to try to piss those people off at my work too and I am in my 30's.

 

Give her a chance as a person and maybe you will find the opportunity to talk to her about her dress and the effect it has on the office. Good luck though and be glad that she is an 18 year old who in some ways does not know better and not a 30-something MBA grad that is doing it at your office!

[Iluvsiamese]

The funny thing about these girls is that, for the most part, they are dressing like that to get the attention of their peers. The thought of someone who is old enough to be their dad looking at them sexually completely grosses them out.

 

I used to be astounded at some of the outfits girls would wear to the church that I attended. Someone even had the audacity to suggest that the ushers back down the aisles while taking up the collection on Sunday morning because some of these poopsies with skirts & tops that covered nothing were complaining that the men were looking at them! Hellooo?????

 

The next time there is someone in that you think might gross her out, mention that you noticed him checking out her outfit and drooling. That might cool her jets a bit. lol.

[Art_Critic]

Originally posted by candy candy candy

the problem is my own issue.

 

There is your answer .....

 

Jealousy .... Your 48 and wish your boobs were perkier and body was slimmer ..She is 18 and perfect.

 

All the attention is on her and not you .. Grow up ..

 

Forget about it.. People will alway's look at the source and the fact that she is 18 ..

 

She is 18 ..Let her live a life that you lived once.

[Mz. Pixie]

Yeah, Candy- aren't you a grandmother? I'm not sure how old you are but this is highschool stuff. Any older man with any maturity to him at all would be turned off by this.

[candy candy candy]

"it is my own issue" yes that is what i said and i said my main reason that i am bothered by it cause my fiance is there all day! i am NOT there hardly at all! i work there two times a week and all i do is walk in and pick up a box and i leave and go deliver the papers in the box, it takes me about three hours and i am done and i come back and take the box back along with any pickups i had and i leave!!!

 

hardly any time to sit around there and be jealous but it is when i am leaving that i think of my fiance sitting there with this girl and her boobs sticking out of her chest. yes i am a gramma, but i am not an old gramma! i am 5'2 and i weigh 140 pounds, so i am not fat, nor unattractive, nor lacking in self esteem, i just do not like it because of my fiance being there. so? nothing wrong with that is there?

 

my finace never looks at women never remarks about them and when it happens he will turn his head if he thinks someone is dressed inappropriately and he is the one who mentioned it to his broter in the first place, not me!

 

so i say it is my own issue that it bothers me that she has no decency to dress right in the office. mind you the office consists of my future brother in law, mmother in law and another boy that is this girls friend that got her hired here and on occasion there are two other older women who come in on mondays and thursday and collate papers for the delivery and i do not know how they feel but knowing these woman i am sure they do not like it either.

 

my fiance is turned off by this! remember he is the one who originally complained to his brother who is her boss. i dont know what attention you are talking about??? there is no attention. i am not there for any "attention" so that is wrong. i do not begrudge her to live her life as i once did, i just begrudge her sticking her boobs in everyones face, lol. mainly my fiance's.

[Art_Critic]

It sounds like your fiance is a great guy .. You should trust him

 

and as far as what is proper attire ? Well.. That is different depending on your age ..In a sense you are trying to enforce your opinions about what is proper attire on her.

 

She is 18 .. Her and her parents have a different opinion than you do about what she should wear and what is proper attire for THEIR company and business.

 

It isn't corportate america we are talking about.. It is a Mom and Pop shop

 

It seems to me that you need to just live with it and stop judging her..

[NiCoLe20]

art critic sounds like he would be one of the old men waiting on line googling at her

[Art_Critic]

Originally posted by NiCoLe20

art critic sounds like he would be one of the old men waiting on line googling at her

 

No.. as a business owner I don't have the same privledge as someone else..

 

So I take it as someone that is young yourself that you don't dress provacitive at all .. Do you ?

 

My point being that she just needs to let the young lady be young .. The OP was once young like the 18 year old and probaly dressed young as well..

[New_Wife]

There are 2 issues going on simultaneously. How she is dressing, and how you feel about you.

 

They are hand in hand - but they are not. (Wow, feeling like Yoda here....let's see if I can get a bit more cryptic, no?)

 

1. This girl is dressing in a way that screams out for attention, yes? Do you know why? Have you met her parents? Have you heard anything about them? Most girls don't dress overly provacative unless there's a reason for it, and it's rarely a good one. Sometimes, Mom's a bit too risque and they just geniunely don't know better. In this case, a gentle mature female friend to pull her aside and say "_____ you have a darling figure, and those are great clothes for night time, but you might want to tone it down a bit here at work to ensure that you're taken seriously. It is a family business and you want to dress the part." If she's really in her teens, she's still got about a 2% chance of having any kind of common sense in the workplace just yet - due to experience alone. You can help her here, if your intentions are good.

 

2. How you feel about you. There will ALWAYS be someone younger, flashier, thinner, curvier, taller, more petite, prettier, with better hair, cuter boobs, smaller butt, bigger butt, etc. I can guarantee you even this seemingly perfect little girl has a laundrylist of flaws in her mind of her own. We all do. Shoot, open any magazine in the country and we are bombarded with how perfect we are NOT.

 

You can live in the problem, or you can live in the solution. How do you look for you? Do you feel good? Do you still move freely? Enjoy an active lifestyle? Take up a single seat on a bus or plane? When you wear clothes that someone in your peer group wears, do you feel good? If so, time to let the rest go. Life's too dang short for that BS. Buy a cute little thong panty and know that you've got a secret all day long.

 

The young don't understand mistique and subtlety (sp?) yet. That comes with experience and wisdom. An 18 year old is very unlikely to understand a naughty pair of unmentionables under a prim business suit and the power behind such an ensemble. Glory in your power as a woman with secrets here and there.

[JPMorgan]

Originally posted by candy candy candy

hardly any time to sit around there and be jealous but it is when i am leaving that i think of my fiance sitting there with this girl and her boobs sticking out of her chest. yes i am a gramma, but i am not an old gramma! i am 5'2 and i weigh 140 pounds, so i am not fat, nor unattractive, nor lacking in self esteem, i just do not like it because of my fiance being there. so? nothing wrong with that is there?

 

Actually, yes. Its a control issue and a jealousy issue. You can't control your guy's entire environment unless you lock him up somewhere, and you are not a perky teenager anymore. What this girl wears is NONE of your business! You have complained to the boss/owner of the company that you feel this girls attire is not appropriate for the workplace. That's it. Stop. Its up to the business owner if he wants to do anything about it. Let It Go.

 

my finace never looks at women never remarks about them and when it happens he will turn his head if he thinks someone is dressed inappropriately and he is the one who mentioned it to his broter in the first place, not me!

 

Then what are you worried about? Your guy has done what he can too -- he brought it to the attention of the business owner and he turns his head.

 

so i say it is my own issue that it bothers me that she has no decency to dress right in the office. mind you the office consists of my future brother in law, mmother in law and another boy that is this girls friend that got her hired here and on occasion there are two other older women who come in on mondays and thursday and collate papers for the delivery and i do not know how they feel but knowing these woman i am sure they do not like it either.

 

If they have a problem with the girl then its up to them to make a complaint with the business owners. Let It Go.

[crazy_grl]

Candy, trust your fiance. Just because some little girl is walking around half undressed doesn't mean he has any interest in her. If he complained about her, he's probably as annoyed by her shoving her boobs in everyone's face as you are. Your jealousy is only going to push him away.

 

While I think age is no excuse for not being able to cover yourself up (I manage to come to work fully clothed), there's not much you can do. You could go around and try to get others to complain about her as well, but you shouldn't waste the effort. Just sit back, focus on yourself, and have sympathy for her and the trampy, unprofessional image she's presenting of herself and the reasons she's probably doing it. And whenever you get irritated by her strutting around half-naked near your fiance, think of him as being just as irritated about it as you are.

[KANSAN]

It REALLY pisses me off too when young attractive 18yr olds shove their perfect boobs in my face all day. Man I hate it when that happens (j/k)

[Curt]

Originally posted by crazy_grl

You could go around and try to get others to complain about her as well, but you shouldn't waste the effort.

 

To what end? To harass her?

[crazy_grl]

Originally posted by KANSAN

It REALLY pisses me off too when young attractive 18yr olds shove their perfect boobs in my face all day. Man I hate it when that happens (j/k)

 

[crazy_grl]

Originally posted by Curt

To what end? To harass her?

 

I was saying not to do it. That was my example of a bad thing to do, not an action she should take.

[CurlyIam]

Money can't buy class. She's 18 and shows off her body, good for her, it's not this type of girl you should feel threaterned. How else can she raise attention, but showing off her body? People get used and tired of everything, if served each day, caviar included.

 

So just let her be and address management if you feel like it.

 

Don't confront her, because you risk to make yourself look ridiculous in her face - like a 48 years old granny jealous of Little Red Riging Hood. I say don't give her this satisfaction.

 

If seeing her tourments you, you should consider finding another job, it's obvious that something in her attitude is getting to you. That's not very healthy, btw.

[RecordProducer]

Candy, you already had a thread where you stated that you hate that young pretty girls are all around your fiance and he looks at them and you give him a hard time because of that.

Accept these facts please and your life will be much easier:

 

1. that you look the way you look and all you can do is improve your body, but you won't be a 17-year old girl ever again;

 

2. that men will always look at young sexy girls cuz they are men;

 

3. that we will always hate their guts for that cuz we're women;

 

4. that looking at those girls has nothing to do with cheating or their love for us because they wouldn't mind if we looked; after all I know some disgusting cheaters who don't look and I know people who look but are faithful; and

 

5. we can't stop other women from being beautiful and dressing sexy.

 

He is yours. This girl would never be with a man who could be older than her father anyway. It's bad enough that you are making a fool of yourself in front of yourself, but you will also lose him if you continue (or start) to show your jealousy. Don't take him for granted, he is not in your possession. All you can ask him is to be respectful and not look at women in your presence... if he does that at all. I have the impression that you're the only one who looks at these girls and leaks (rage).