constant reminders of her past..

[Guest]

my present girlfriend and i have been together for about 4 months now, and everything seems to be going great. however, i find myself engrossed in my gf's past, as she has made a few bad judgements w/ other guys. i want to forget about it and leave it all behind, but those feelings of hatred and jealousy overcome me whenever their names are mentioned or whenever i find myself in the same place as them - which is, by my luck, often.. i don't really know what to do about these feelings, or how to get over this feeling..

 

Paul

[Guest]

my present girlfriend and i have been together

for about 4 months now, and everything seems to

be going great. however, i find myself engrossed

in my gf's past, as she has made a few bad judgements

w/ other guys - random hookups, etc. i want to forget about it and leave

it all behind, but those feelings of hatred and

jealousy overcome me whenever their names are

mentioned or whenever i find myself in the same

place as them - which is, by my luck, often..

i love her, but i don't really know what to do about these feelings,

or how to get over this feeling..

 

 

 

 

Paul

[Tony T]

Nobody else can control your feelings but yourself. You can't erase the past.

 

If you want to try some hypnosis on yourself, sit back in a recliner in a quiet room, shut your eyes and totally relax. Then imagine your girl's past on a framed picture. Then spray black paint all over the picture until it's not visible. Do this again and again with various aspects of her past that bother you.

 

Eventually, you will cover up her entire past with black paint and your mind should blot out most of this stuff. You have to control it.

 

It's basic maturity at this point. Your girl was stupid enough to tell you stuff she shouldn't have. I hope she's learned a lesson. You were not so sharp to listen to it since it was none of your business and that kind of information doesn't make you a better person or make your relationship more wonderful.

 

Once you realize there is no constructive purpose in holding this in your mind and it is NOT being very nice to yourself, you will let it go. If you see these guys, pay them no mind. Just be indifferent.

 

So why do you go to the same places the jerks go? Find some different places to go for a while. And get a handle on your mind and your thoughts.

 

And tell you girl not to reveal any more dirt from past relationships...or did you encourage her to do so?