lickylicky47 Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Hey guys, talking to a girl I met at a party of mine last summer and I need some advice... So I met a girl at a party of mine last summer and I reached out to her afterwards, we chatted but not much came out of it. I had a hard time telling whether or not she was interested because she was friendly but the convo was less hyped then I would've wanted it to be, and I was headed off to college, so I didn't take it as seriously. I eventually tried to hangout with her in Sep, but I ended up being busy earlier that weekend, and when I tried rescheduling she didn't respond. Ok, failure. I recently reached out to her again and I apologized, and we're talking again, but I don't feel like I have her hooked if you know what I mean. Again the nice vibes but I feel like I'm the one putting the energy into the convo. How do I turn this around? Perhaps this is a suicide mission, but damn this girl is a catch. Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Just ask her out on a date. Her answer will tell you a lot, and if the date does end up happening, you'll learn a lot more. Link to post Share on other sites
1966Seahorse Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Just ask her out on a date. Her answer will tell you a lot, and if the date does end up happening, you'll learn a lot more. Yep - can't add anything else to this! Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
edem Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 I applaud your pursuit of this gal. She sounds like a catch. As others have mentioned, have you considered being clear and just ask her out on a date? From there, she should give you a clear answer. Some guys have to ask multiple times for the girl to say "yes" (then finally they get married. I know of guys who had to do this). But, from my experience and they way I'm wired, if a woman says "no" it means "no" 99% of the time. But, your call man. You can pursue her until she says no or until your heart can't take it anymore. And being clear with her is where I'd take the relationship from here. Best wishes! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 If you are at college & she's not at your school, the timing is bad. Don't bother. Do reach out & possibly hang out when you are back home but otherwise this is unlikely to succeed given the distances. Link to post Share on other sites
Andrew9 Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 Hey guys, talking to a girl I met at a party of mine last summer and I need some advice... So I met a girl at a party of mine last summer and I reached out to her afterwards, we chatted but not much came out of it. I had a hard time telling whether or not she was interested because she was friendly but the convo was less hyped then I would've wanted it to be, and I was headed off to college, so I didn't take it as seriously. I eventually tried to hangout with her in Sep, but I ended up being busy earlier that weekend, and when I tried rescheduling she didn't respond. Ok, failure. I recently reached out to her again and I apologized, and we're talking again, but I don't feel like I have her hooked if you know what I mean. Again the nice vibes but I feel like I'm the one putting the energy into the convo. How do I turn this around? Perhaps this is a suicide mission, but damn this girl is a catch. You can't get a girl interested in you. That's not how it works. It'd be nice if you could just push a few buttons and make any girl attracted to you. Unfortunately, real life doesn't work that way. The best way to attract a girl is by being an interesting person. You say you want to go to college. That's a good start. What are you studying for? What are your goals? Dreams? Passions? What are her goals, dreams, and ambitions? Talk about those things. Share your hobbies, interests, opinions, beliefs, values, anything to keep a convo. going. Don't worry about whether or not she's interested. It doesn't matter. Validate yourself as an interesting person. If you worry about whether or not she's interested, you lose sight of what makes you interesting in the first place. As a result, she won't be interested in you. My final piece of advice is to determine whether you're ready for a relationship or not. If you insult and degrade yourself, chances are you need to work on yourself first. Wish you the best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
iVisa Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 Invite her out. Just try. I understand why she don't put effort in your convo. She don't know waht do you want. Just have funny convo or something more? In my opinion chatting with guys for several month is boring. Link to post Share on other sites
OatsAndHall Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 Honestly, she's either interested or she's not, my friend. It doesn't sound like she is so I wouldn't waste anymore energy. You're in college; there's available women every where. So, focus on that and find someone that is interested in you. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 You can't force interest. It just doesn't work that way. She is into you or not and sorry, but it sounds like she is being friendly/polite and not into you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 You can't force interest. It just doesn't work that way. She is into you or not and sorry, but it sounds like she is being friendly/polite and not into you. Yes you can. Believing that you can't do anything to improve yourself or your chances is female thinking. Just sit back and wait for good things to happen to you. That advice is never going to work for average men, because it's for lazy entitled people. What he should be doing is engaging her in fun and interesting conversation, while subtly displaying high social status. If he plays his cards right... I would give him a 25% chance of turning this around. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lickylicky47 Posted December 20, 2017 Author Share Posted December 20, 2017 We set up a date in November, and I got stood up. TF. I've dropped it since, but damn she's hot. Right move? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lickylicky47 Posted December 20, 2017 Author Share Posted December 20, 2017 I did eventually end up setting a date with her in November. I showed up, she never even showed. Total stand up. I'm an attractive guy, but the people we mutually know aren't my biggest fans I suspect. I bet that was an influencing factor. I've gone on dates with plenty of other girls, I've never been stood up before. Since then I haven't said a word to her. She's damn hot though. I would like to pursue her, but at this point, I don't see how she could possibly respect me after setting me up like that. Hell no. Does that give more context? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 20, 2017 Share Posted December 20, 2017 Sometimes 'hot' is a price too high to pay. This is one of those times. Focus on women who like you and, most importantly, respect you and your time. They're out there. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted December 20, 2017 Share Posted December 20, 2017 She is clearly giving you every indication that she is not interested. Time to move on and focus your attention on the next "hot babe." Link to post Share on other sites
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