Update: custody filed, she wants to sign over rights

[VeganButEatMyMeat]

I don't know if this the right section so mods please move to appropriate section if need be.

 

So my story here. 6 months have passed, I've filed a petition to adjust custody/legal decision making to 100% me. She was served last week. The petition states she must complete anger management and suicide counseling in order to have access to our son. In a typical BPD fashion she agreed 5 days ago saying "I agree I need help and our son needs a healthy mom" and today sends me a text saying she wants to sign over her rights, doesn't want to pay child support.

 

In the next couple months my schedule will be going crazy. I'm going to need pretty extensive daycare, which obviously means my daycare costs are going to go through the roof, and I don't know if financially I can do it myself so.. I'm not going to allow her to give up her rights for now. I am going to show the judge the text message that says she wants to give up her rights and only thing she cares about is money.

 

I can't understand how someone can carry a child for 9 months, give birth to my beautiful boy, and decide rather than putting in the work to become healthy and be part of his life she decides to just give him up. I guess that's Borderline thinking for you.

 

As for my son and I.. we're doing great! He started pre-k, he has a "girlfriend" at daycare who's an orphan. I spoke to the foster mom and they all come over on Saturday's to go swimming and play. My son is autistic and has been quickly moving out of the spectrum. He took an autism test the other week and failed (good thing, means he's very high functioning). Got him potty trained on July 4th. Yes there are ups and downs but overall he's a very happy boy.

 

Court is less than 30 days away, wish me luck, I'll update.

[d0nnivain]

If her mental illness is that bad she probably can't get out of her own way. I know I struggle with the simplest tasks when things are at their worst.

 

 

If she truly wants out, consider it. You will be well & done with her but I don't know how you explain to your kid later on in life that mommy just gave up. I suppose you should consult with a child psychologist before you do this.

[MJJean]

In a typical BPD fashion she agreed 5 days ago saying "I agree I need help and our son needs a healthy mom" and today sends me a text saying she wants to sign over her rights, doesn't want to pay child support.

 

Check state law. Here in MI if a parent signs away parental rights or has parental rights involuntarily terminated by the court they are still obligated to pay child support unless the child is legally adopted by a foster parent, step parent, guardian, etc.

 

In other words, it's possible she could sign away her rights and still have to pay child support even if you remarry as long as your hypothetical future wife doesn't adopt your son.

[preraph]

The child doesn't need to grow up knowing one parent "didn't want him," so for that reason I too would resist letting her just sign off her rights. I mean, he needs to at least think she loves him and wants to see him, no matter how incompetent she is. So that means you'd still be needing to let her see him even if she signed her rights away, and if that's the case, what good does it really do you? She has no responsibility but still gets to just drop in and be part of his life?

 

I would talk to the court about making you the primary caretaker certainly and give her the typical "man's role" of seeing the child every other weekend or something like that. And if it needs to be "supervised," so be it. Nothing wrong with that, but he needs to know she wants to see him. She's sick. I hope she gets better. If she does, she will never recover from giving up her kid. So don't let that happen. Good luck.