amazonrambo Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 We last spoke on Thursday night and agreed to meet 8pm on sunday (tonight) at said location. We haven't spoken since then, which I'd prefer as I'd rather use the phone to set up dates and talk in person, and if it became a thing down the line then we live around the corner from each other so we could set dates up regularly. I texted her two hours ago this morning with "Morning Looking forward to tonight. Hope you've not been up to too much trouble this weekend x". No reply yet but early hours of the day. If I end up getting no response, do I still arrive for the date? Link to post Share on other sites
fred123 Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 We last spoke on Thursday night and agreed to meet 8pm on sunday (tonight) at said location. We haven't spoken since then, which I'd prefer as I'd rather use the phone to set up dates and talk in person, and if it became a thing down the line then we live around the corner from each other so we could set dates up regularly. I texted her two hours ago this morning with "Morning Looking forward to tonight. Hope you've not been up to too much trouble this weekend x". No reply yet but early hours of the day. If I end up getting no response, do I still arrive for the date? She has probably made other plans or not interested. She would have messaged u otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
Author amazonrambo Posted October 22, 2017 Author Share Posted October 22, 2017 She has probably made other plans or not interested. She would have messaged u otherwise. She was sending me 4-5 line texts with a lot of emojis. I suggested Wednesday to meet up as I was busy with work but she was keen to meet earlier so we arranged that. She could still be asleep, only two hours but wondering "what if" she doesn't reply. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 She was sending me 4-5 line texts with a lot of emojis. I suggested Wednesday to meet up as I was busy with work but she was keen to meet earlier so we arranged that. She could still be asleep, only two hours but wondering "what if" she doesn't reply. What gets me is why you said this: Hope you've not been up to too much trouble this weekend Why in the world did you say that? You made it sound like she was up to something else (no good in other words) You might have blown the date. Time will tell the truth later today... Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 Don't just go to the location if you don't hear from her. (Pretty big chance you're going to be stood up) If there's still no word from her like an hour or two before the date, text her to cancel/reschedule. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 If I end up getting no response, do I still arrive for the date? No, you don't... 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author amazonrambo Posted October 22, 2017 Author Share Posted October 22, 2017 What gets me is why you said this: Hope you've not been up to too much trouble this weekend Why in the world did you say that? You made it sound like she was up to something else (no good in other words) You might have blown the date. Time will tell the truth later today... I was only teasing her. Said this plenty of times to other girls before and always got a fun and positive reaction. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author amazonrambo Posted October 22, 2017 Author Share Posted October 22, 2017 Don't just go to the location if you don't hear from her. (Pretty big chance you're going to be stood up) If there's still no word from her like an hour or two before the date, text her to cancel/reschedule. Alright, that's the plan. I finish work two hours before I meet her so I'll tell her that I'm assuming tonight isn't going ahead and for her to get back to me when she's free to meet up another time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 I was only teasing her. Said this plenty of times to other girls before and always got a fun and positive reaction. But have you got a fun and positive reaction of this one? Link to post Share on other sites
Author amazonrambo Posted October 22, 2017 Author Share Posted October 22, 2017 But have you got a fun and positive reaction of this one? I won't know until I get a reply. I've never had a bad response from it so I don't see it as a bad thing to use. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 PS I wouldn't even think for one minute she'll show up tonight. Best call her on cell to confirm it. No answer don't bother to go! Link to post Share on other sites
Author amazonrambo Posted October 22, 2017 Author Share Posted October 22, 2017 PS I wouldn't even think for one minute she'll show up tonight. Best call her on cell to confirm it. No answer don't bother to go! I finish work at 6 so if I have no response by then I'll send "Hey, I'm assuming tonight isn't going ahead so we'll reschedule for another time. Let me know when you're next free". That'll be two hours before we meet but gives me enough time to get ready if she tells me she actually is going. I'm guessing she isn't going to, you're right. Least I'll have more sleep tonight for work tomorrow. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
OatsAndHall Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 Honestly, I would be tactfully call anything (avoid a potential Rolodex Dating cycle) and forget any future plans of seeing her. For me, this behavior just isn't acceptable. I have been ghosted before we have made any date plans and that's a part of the dating scene but it doesn't sit right with me when we've made plans. I called it off with a woman who actually responded about rescheduling a date but it took her five days to do so. I don't know why she waited that long and I'm not going to read into anything but the basic behavior is rude and uncalled for. So, I told her I didn't think it was going to work out, wished her the best and moved on. She shot me a text yesterday and asked me why I wouldn't date her and I told her that I thought it was rude and unacceptable for five days to pass before I got a response. She became angry and said she was busy, etc..etc.. I didn't argue; just wished her the best and ignored the rest of her texts. It takes thirty seconds to fire off a text so a five day wait is unacceptable for me. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 So . . . it's the next morning What happened? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 Honestly, I wouldn't send another text when you finish work. You have already sent a text today so by the time you finish work, if you haven't herd back then don't go and leave this be. She might reply but no reply is also a reply which says she's not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 I think your plan of action is spot on. Does she have any other means of contacting you besides phone? Did you meet on an OLD site or through friends, school, work? The only "what if" I'm considering is if she lost her phone, it broke, it got stolen, and she doesn't have your number written down, so basically she has no means of contacting you. You could go to your meeting spot and wait on this "what if," but this will likely result in being stood up, so really, there's no point. I'm a glutton for punishment at times. I don't recommend it. I think that it is respectful to shoot a text or leave a voicemail that since you haven't heard from her, you won't plan on meeting her, and you hope she's had a nice weekend. This is probably more for your benefit, not hers; at least you're not being flaky or a jerk. If you want to keep that door open to reschedule, that's okay too, but don't invest yourself too much on this one and only do one more try, then close the door on it if she continues to be flaky. It doesn't take too much time to shoot off a text, and unless there's a valid reason she can't respond, move on. I hope you have heard from her by now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 Why didn't you contact her between last Thursday and today? Women hate chasing men at the very beginning she was probably waiting for you to contact her and you haven't so as the days went by she thought you lost interest. Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 I finish work at 6 so if I have no response by then I'll send "Hey, I'm assuming tonight isn't going ahead so we'll reschedule for another time. Let me know when you're next free". That'll be two hours before we meet but gives me enough time to get ready if she tells me she actually is going. I'm guessing she isn't going to, you're right. Least I'll have more sleep tonight for work tomorrow. If she never responds to the first text I wouldn't even bother texting her again. No contact from her = she's not interested. The only acceptable excuse for not getting back to you would be that she's in the hospital or her phone was bricked from dropping it in the toilet. This is the same phone she was just texting you from. Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
ThorntonMelon Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 Not to completely go against the grain, but as much as what she's doing sucks (been there done that), if for some reason the date happens, it's really no big loss to go on it. Worst case you blow an hour. 99% you'll tell she's crappy, but never kills you to try. Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 Why didn't you contact her between last Thursday and today? Women hate chasing men at the very beginning she was probably waiting for you to contact her and you haven't so as the days went by she thought you lost interest. But he didn't lose interest. He had already set up a date with her. They haven't even started dating yet so for her to assume he's lost interest because he hasn't reached out for a day or two before the first date is really lame. If she's got those sort of expectations before they're even an item, I'd run far and fast. That smacks of needy and controlling. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 But he didn't lose interest. He had already set up a date with her. They haven't even started dating yet so for her to assume he's lost interest because he hasn't reached out for a day or two before the first date is really lame. If she's got those sort of expectations before they're even an item, I'd run far and fast. That smacks of needy and controlling. I didn't say it was logic, I express how women think. We like a man to touch base with us between dates. It doesn't mean we're controlling or needy. At the very beginning the interest is very fragile, you have to nurish it. If a man sets up a date with me then I don't hear a word from him for 3 days I am gonna think he's just filling his agenda and not really interested in hearing from me. Why is it so far fetched that she'd assume he lost interest, isn't he concluding she lost interest for the same reason? 8 Link to post Share on other sites
heavenonearth Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 How was the date? Link to post Share on other sites
HarmonyDriven Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 I have no response by then I'll send "Hey, I'm assuming tonight isn't going ahead so we'll reschedule for another time. Let me know when you're next free". . IMO, it's ok to send the text assuming tonight is not going forward but I WOULD NOT INDICATE RESCHEDULING ANOTHER TIME....I would move on....but that's just me. Unless of course there are some extenuating circumstances.....but for some reason I doubt it. Link to post Share on other sites
Coffeeguy Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 I swear the texting is such a killer. You can't win. Either something gets misrepresented, or a paragraph is too much or 3 texts in a row is too intense and no response at all is disheartening. The excuses I would get for the no responses when I knew very well the other person had plenty of time were such nonsense. I would send a morning hello to someone and get nothing until noon because she was "out walking". Yet whenever I was with her, she was always tapping away on her phone. And none of it would really mean anything if people picked up the phone more. Link to post Share on other sites
staggerlee71 Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 I swear the texting is such a killer. You can't win. Either something gets misrepresented, or a paragraph is too much or 3 texts in a row is too intense and no response at all is disheartening. The excuses I would get for the no responses when I knew very well the other person had plenty of time were such nonsense. I would send a morning hello to someone and get nothing until noon because she was "out walking". Yet whenever I was with her, she was always tapping away on her phone. And none of it would really mean anything if people picked up the phone more. LOL. The solution to this is to never expect a return text. Send the morning hello cause you want to and then, no expectation. I'm dating someone now. I send morning texts. I'm up really early so I do it so it there when she wakes up. I literally tell myself I am sending this because I want to. if she doesn't respond, it ok. I will remind myself that texting time is not a good indicator of anything. I'm learning that I need much larger flags to address. this gives me peace Link to post Share on other sites
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