This is hard for her? Really??

[Leojax]

Most people will not admit they cheated on someone unless that person has overwhelming proof.

Nobody likes to known as a confirmed cheater that's why they hide it.

She isn't going to admit she cheated because quite simply their is no benefit to her doing it.

Your gut will ALWAYS tell you the truth in most cases. It is able to sense things that you cannot explain at the time but latter come to realize after looking back

 

My gut never went off about cheating with her. Just that she would lie.

[Leojax]

Right but even OP said his gut isn’t saying she cheated, but that she lied about something. OP even said he asked her to admit to lying not cheating and she said she wasn’t going to admit to anything she didn’t do. OP’s issue doesn’t seem to be cheating it’s lying.

 

The thing is I've never had a gut feeling about a woman like this before.

[Victor D]

It sounds like deep down you're hurt, otherwise you wouldn't resort to such behavior. Take the time to consider your motivation to do these things. ask yourself "Do I feel unworthy?"

"Do I need to stick it to her to increase my value?" If you answer No, then it is to your benefit to wish her well and move on. Deep down you ARE a better man than your behavior suggests.

[zawadi16]

The thing is I've never had a gut feeling about a woman like this before.

 

So you've been cheated on multiple times, but this is the first time your gut has gone off like this? Not to be rude, but do you see how illogical that sounds?

 

Shouldn't your gut have gone off about the other women who cheated as well? It didn't, so why would you think your gut is correct in this instance?

Edited November 28, 2017 by zawadi16

[Leojax]

So you've been cheated on multiple times, but this is the first time your gut has gone off like this? Not to be rude, but do you see how illogical that sounds?

 

Shouldn't your gut have gone off about the other women who cheated as well? It didn't, so why would you think your gut is correct in this instance?

 

Again, I don't think she cheated or would ever cheat.

 

I know she lied about one small thing when we were arguing to keep the peace according to him. After a fight she mentioned how she wanted to buy me a card (to say sorry). A few days later I asked if her got the card and she said yes but lost it. I knew she was lying so I confronted her and she admitted to it. She said I had just been getting so upset lately that she didn’t want to argue anymore and wanted to keep the peace. That’s the only thing I know for certain she lied about.

 

Also, I swear she told me that her ex had an issue with her being honest about things, but she said he cheated on her and that she never told me that. I talked to her best friend and said, “She told me her ex said he had an issue with him lying?”. The best friend responded by saying, “I don’t know what relationship you’re speaking of because that didn’t happen. He was the liar and he cheated on her”. When we first started dating she did mention that her ex did cheat on her, but again I swear she said that she was the liar.

[Leojax]

So my ex broke up with me in early October saying she was just exhausted from all the arguing. She tried to get back with me a week later and I told her no. I admit I messed up and sent her a lot of messages the next and the days that followed after I rejected her. A week later I told her I was struggling. She is the first person I could see myself marrying and having kids with. Sh*t I even told her when we were dating I though about what our house would be like and what our kids would look like. All my other ex's cheated on me, but she was loyal af and I know she'd never cheat on me, but at the same time I didn't trust her.

 

My mom died a year ago. She sent me a card, well the entire family really, saying she knew the anniversary of my mom's death was coming up and evertyhing with the holidays she imagines that it's hard and all that other good stuff.

 

I don't know what to take of this. Should I say anything to her? I don't know, this means she's a really good f'ing person doesn't it?

[StormyEyes]

What was all the arguing about that caused the original break up? You could see yourself marrying and having children with someone you were constantly fighting with? That seems like a bad choice.

[d0nnivain]

First, my condolences on the loss of your mom. It's always tough.

 

The fact that she remembered the anniversary shows she's a thoughtful person, not a jerk. It may be just a break crumb but she did put it out there. If you want to get back & you now think you can trust her (translation not punish her because your EX's cheated), send her back a note that says Thank you for the note; I'd love to get together & chat if you're free. See what she does with that but don't hold out too much hope. That bridge was pretty much burned.