bubs Posted May 15, 2001 Share Posted May 15, 2001 My husband has had a porn addiction in the past. Last night, when I probed, he admitted to fantasising about a girl at his work he was doing a project with, thinking about having sex with her when masturbating, etc. Was I wrong to ask? Is this normal? I don't fantasise about other men. I can't help feeling betrayed. Given his history of porn & lying about this & other things, I'm worried that one day I'll find out he's having an affair. Basically I don't trust him. Please help. I'd like advice. Link to post Share on other sites
KDcutie Posted May 15, 2001 Share Posted May 15, 2001 There is nothing wrong with liking to watch porn and things like that inherently, BUT this is not the whole problem here. Youmay not enjoy porn but guys are very visual (as well as some females) and they enjoy watching that. Many many people fantasize and that is normal as well. This soes not mean that I see nothing wrong, though. As I see it, the larger problmes are - 1. You refer to it as an "addiction". An addiction to anything is a sign of trouble. 2. His history of lying? I am not really sure what this is referring to, but it doesn't sound good. 3. The biggest problem of all - you don't trust him!!! I think that he can find a way to enjoy porn or fantasy while respecting you, and if not he needs to make a decision about which he wants more. For some reason I don not believe that he is cheating. For him to admit to the fantasy is a good thing because at least that opens up communication lines. I still feel like there is a part of the story that you are keeping to yourself - about why you really don't trust him. I hope that everything works out, but just remember that you deserve someone who loves, admires and respects you. If he does not, you have three options - accept less than you deserve, find a way to teach him to give you what you deserve or find someone else who will. Good luck! My husband has had a porn addiction in the past. Last night, when I probed, he admitted to fantasising about a girl at his work he was doing a project with, thinking about having sex with her when masturbating, etc. Was I wrong to ask? Is this normal? I don't fantasise about other men. I can't help feeling betrayed. Given his history of porn & lying about this & other things, I'm worried that one day I'll find out he's having an affair. Basically I don't trust him. Please help. I'd like advice. Link to post Share on other sites
diana Posted May 15, 2001 Share Posted May 15, 2001 I think it is good that your husband opened up to you. People who fantasize are usually much more sexual and have lots more fun. I use to be so closed minded (36 w/kids) because I was always focused on the kids/routine etc...When I started tuning in to my sexuality I became much more sexual and enjoyed it far more. Allow him to be him so he won't cheat (hopefully) It will make you both closer-bring the girl at work into both your fantasies. I know it sounds wierd but it works. Good luck. My husband has had a porn addiction in the past. Last night, when I probed, he admitted to fantasising about a girl at his work he was doing a project with, thinking about having sex with her when masturbating, etc. Was I wrong to ask? Is this normal? I don't fantasise about other men. I can't help feeling betrayed. Given his history of porn & lying about this & other things, I'm worried that one day I'll find out he's having an affair. Basically I don't trust him. Please help. I'd like advice. Link to post Share on other sites
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