Over and over and over and over

[Quokka]

So I could tell you a long story about me and this girl but to save you the time, here’s the shortened version of the span of 5 years.

Met this girl when I was 16 immediately knew I had to get to know her at the very least, did that, became friends, became more than friends, dated on and off for 3 years. Each time we broke up was because she would ignore me or just leave and then months later come back claiming to miss me. And yeah she should. I know her very well. More than anybody else in her life she tells me things that she can’t tell anyone me and her were best friends and lovers.

In this time apart, it’s been 3 months I blocked all of her social media and her phone number. In this time she has contacted my friends trying to get in touch with me because she misses me. And I’ve been turning down each offer she has been presenting.

I know going back to her would be detrimental to myself. But I would be lying to myself if I didn’t miss her. I love her. I have dreams of marrying her and life with her, like I’m back in our old place just me and her and these dreams have been nearly every night and very vivid, intense, and consistent. Yet, I know that if I were to contact her, it would mess up all this progress I have made. (I am clean and sober after a 30-day rehab for alcoholism) and she is a big drinker. Furthermore, she leaves me hanging every time and even cheats! She never has relationships with anyone else just me. She claims she just sucks at relationships and it’s not me and it’s her and she has depression, anxiety, ptsd, panic problems, substance abuse, etc. but at the end of the day I love her and I miss her and she clearly misses me. What am I suppose to do? Going back would go against everything my brain is telling me, but my heart wants her so badly. Very conflicting feelings.

What do I do

[Inafishbowl]

Your sobriety is your first priority.

You say you love this woman but she has her own problems to deal with.

Until she decides to sober up there is no way you can even think of a r relationship with her.

I'm just speculating but I think as you progress more into your new found sobriety you will find more and more of your past relationship problems with her was based on partying and the lifestyle.

There are two camps on relationships with both people in recovery. Some say it's doomed, some say it's supportive of each other.

Congratulations on 30 days sober but you are just starting to get a clear head. Focus on you and building a life for you first.

[dumbass2]

Stick with your logic and the heart on this one. Congrats and keeping going on staying sober. Getting back with her would set you back. You're both very young and at a stage where you should experience life a little more.