He left without saying goodbye?

[Noah22]

Most of your initial post talks about eye contact, him hanging around, him on the phone etc. People flirt all the time. Night clubs are a classic example. But in my book, unless you get down to talking in a healthy two-sided conversation (and its consistent), then it's just flirting, nothing more.

 

The thing is socially awkward or shy guys with issues talking to women exist. He told me he was a researcher and a student trade union worker. He also received high grades in his academics and was going to pursue masters and Phd. There is a difference between a guy who is a player or smooth with girls and someone who is so into academics all the time.

[ExpatInItaly]

Nobody made hurtful comments to you.

 

There is difference between being honest with you and being deliberately rude. When you're engaging in the latter, as you were, people tune out because the discussion has hit a juvenile dead-end.

 

I wish you luck moving past this. It is clear you are very upset but I don't know what other advice to offer you.

Edited October 25, 2017 by ExpatInItaly

[Noah22]

Nobody made hurtful comments to you.

 

There is difference between being honest with you and being deliberately rude. When you're engaging in the latter, as you were, people tune out because the discussion has hit a juvenile dead-end.

 

I wish you luck moving past this.

 

You literally said I built this in my head when my entire post sums up mutual attraction. I had hesitations in talking initially like I wrote. But you just picked up bits which you liked to use to refute this. How is it helpful or soothing?

[marky00]

The thing is socially awkward or shy guys with issues talking to women exist. He told me he was a researcher and a student trade union worker. He also received high grades in his academics and was going to pursue masters and Phd. There is a difference between a guy who is a player or smooth with girls and someone who is so into academics all the time.

 

I get where your coming from but at the end of the day, would you want to be with someone and have to guess what he is thinking all the time because he can't communicate in a healthy manner? Even if you know the reasons behind it, it will still cause you endless frustration.

 

 

Also, if a guy can sit near a girl and talk on the phone right near her, that seems like a fairly confident guy to me. Just an observation of course.

[marky00]

You literally said I built this in my head when my entire post sums up mutual attraction.

 

Maybe a mutual physical attraction. But that doesn't mean you were both emotionally invested. Given that he has left without saying goodbye, it's fair to say he wasn't emotionally invested.

[Noah22]

I get where your coming from but at the end of the day, would you want to be with someone and have to guess what he is thinking all the time because he can't communicate in a healthy manner? Even if you know the reasons behind it, it will still cause you endless frustration.

 

 

Also, if a guy can sit near a girl and talk on the phone right near her, that seems like a fairly confident guy to me. Just an observation of course.

 

Thats true. He was a very confident guy which is why I was so surprised how he couldnt start. The day we talked, he just kept looking at me and smiling and then when I said something he immediately followed and started talking.

 

About communication probs, maybe it was the initial hitch and then he would have been normal. I had difficulty too because I kept thinking if he would think I am easy based on his background but maybe he would be stable because after initiating he was perfectly fine.

[preraph]

You're not even on this guy's radar. He was struggling to figure out if he was supposed to know you when he asked if you'd seen each other because it was no more than a blip on his screen. He totally ignored you when he was right by you, not even bothering to say hi or anything.

 

Let's assume I'm wrong and he was interested. Why would YOU be interested in someone who acted like that? Can't even say hi, can't even say "Oh, saw you the other day," makes NO effort to meet you? If you don't raise your standards to men who are competent to strike up a conversation or ask a girl out, you're going to constantly have frustrations like this. You need to require more before you decide you are interested in someone than to merely SEE them around.

[Noah22]

Maybe a mutual physical attraction. But that doesn't mean you were both emotionally invested. Given that he has left without saying goodbye, it's fair to say he wasn't emotionally invested.

 

All I know of that day was a caterer who was friends with him that he was quiet and looked down and had looked over the main gates a few times. He had been ignoring me so I did not approach him and kept out of sight but I did see him look over the gates. That place was where we usually saw each other.

 

I was emotionally invested tbh. I dont know why. And I still am.

[HiCrunchy]

This is the most accurate example of what it truly means to be “in love with the idea of someone”, ever.

 

Honey not to be mean, but you are in love with who you wanted this boy to be.

I hope u can move past this quickly dear.

 

Wishing u the best

Edited October 25, 2017 by HiCrunchy

[Noah22]

This is the most accurate example of what it truly means to be “in love with the idea of someone”, ever.

 

Honey not to be mean, but you are in love with who you wanted this boy to be.

I hope u can move past this quickly dear.

 

Wishing u the best

 

Wrong. I am not in love with the idea of someone. Stop making assumptions