lbh33 Posted October 29, 2017 Share Posted October 29, 2017 Hi, my daughter moved back home and is turning 23. She has yet to make friends here. I am planning to cook for immediate family and some close family friends for her birthday and have a cake. Her "boyfriend" made fun of this, and now she is insecure. I'm upset he would say this and also I see no harm in celebrating birthdays at any age but do people actually think this is tacky or weird for this age? Link to post Share on other sites
staggerlee71 Posted October 29, 2017 Share Posted October 29, 2017 He is a moron! He should be on board too! Ofcourse it ok, in fact, its quite a nice gesture. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 29, 2017 Share Posted October 29, 2017 It would be a lovely gesture. It would also be completely normal in my family. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted October 29, 2017 Share Posted October 29, 2017 Meal with family and friends, plus homemade birthday cake, is what I would consider the NORMAL STANDARD U.S. way to celebrate an adult birthday. What's tacky and weird is to jeer at the very nice celebration your GF's mother (father?) was planning for her. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted October 29, 2017 Share Posted October 29, 2017 Totally normal. At 31, I still do this with my family (I have no friends in town) and when I was with my ex, he and his family always joined in too. Your daughter's boyfriend is a jerk. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
1966Seahorse Posted October 29, 2017 Share Posted October 29, 2017 Hi, my daughter moved back home and is turning 23. She has yet to make friends here. I am planning to cook for immediate family and some close family friends for her birthday and have a cake. Her "boyfriend" made fun of this, and now she is insecure. I'm upset he would say this and also I see no harm in celebrating birthdays at any age but do people actually think this is tacky or weird for this age? Hi ibh33, I really can't see why your daughter's boyfriend would make fun of your intentions. Planning a meal for family/friends is a great idea (and arranging a birthday cake - who doesn't like a special cake??!!) - especially as your daughter doesn't yet know anyone much outside the family circle. I too don't see any harm in celebrating birthdays at any age - I say you go for it! And you are keeping it fairly low key with just people that your daughter knows! I have never had a birthday party that has been arranged for me ever - in my younger life or adult life - I would so love that though All the very best! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
HiCrunchy Posted October 29, 2017 Share Posted October 29, 2017 I am 22 about to be 23, so in the same shoes as your daughter If you and your daughter are close then I am sure she would appreciate it. A small dinner with family and friends and cake sounds super sweet. I am sure she will love it. Don't listen to her BF, he sounds like a loser. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 29, 2017 Share Posted October 29, 2017 My goodness! Does he put her down in other ways? He sounds like a jerk! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 29, 2017 Share Posted October 29, 2017 A slightly different tack here - did you actually hear him say this, or did she tell you that he said this? It's hard to know if this is the case, but it's possible that this ("tacky/weird") is her perception of the celebration, and she doesn't feel comfortable telling you this straight up so she is using her "boyfriend" as a buffer. Is she generally comfortable with expressing her opinion around you, especially opinions that differ from yours? Did you ask her how she would feel about this celebration before making the plans? I wouldn't personally mind such a celebration at all (and I agree that the boyfriend is being unreasonable if he actually said that), but I do know that when I was in my teens, this is the method that I would use to try and deflect something (by using someone else) because my parents weren't really able to accept criticism from me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted October 29, 2017 Share Posted October 29, 2017 if the bf really said that then maybe you should be more concerned w/who your daughter is dating than a party. if he influences her thinking to the extent that she'd dislike a family celebration... that's the weird part 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Frostedflake Posted October 29, 2017 Share Posted October 29, 2017 He sounds a bit jealous. What do you know about his family? They're probably not as generous or family-oriented. If your daughter is serious about him- challenge his screwy ideals about family and show him how it's done! If this goes beyond a party and he tears her down a lot remind her that a relationship shouldn't be that way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MajesticUnicorn Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 It’s not weird at all. I’m your daughter’s age. While I do celebrate with my friends one night for my birthday, I always have a get together with my family as well. With dinner and cake, and honestly it’s one of my favorite part’s about my birthday. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 That's exactly what I do, either cook or we all go out to have dinner to celebrate. Your daughter's BF sounds like an ass and it's very sad that she has no friends nearby because that's only going to make her even more reliant on him. Please tell her it's much better to be alone than be in bad company. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 dear boyfriend, we are planning a dinner at our house to celebrate your girlfriends birthday and we would like you to attend. however, this means, if your relationship with my daughter continues on it's present course, we might start to consider you one of the family and that means, we would do something tacky or weird for your birthday as well, be warned. rsvp to the tacky weirdos by saturday next 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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