I don't know what to do

[Brady_135]

Hey my name is Brady and I have never posted on a forum like this but I figured that it couldn't hurt to try. I'm not sure if this is the right place for this but I think that it might be I have a very interesting situation and I really don't know what to do, at all. So for this to make sense I have to give a bit of background about myself first. I'm a fairly reserved person who tends to be very easy going, very accommodating of others.

 

I would more than likely fall into that Nice Guy area and that can be a great thing but also has it's drawbacks. I have only really had one relationship in my life, but it was because it lasted most of my dating life, 5 years. This girl was amazing she was everything that I could have ever asked for and if you had asked me at the time I would have told you that this was the person that I was going to grow old with and have a family with, but that changed. We grew apart as the years went on and things needed to come to an end, so they did.

 

Now fast forward to my freshmen year of college and the most amazing girl that I have ever met. I'm not going to give her name just because I don't feel that is my information to divulge, but lets call her Mia. So when I got to school we had this stupid little floor meeting in the dorms just to say hi to everyone and lay down the basic rules and what not. There was this girl who was there and she was so incredibly beautiful and I just had to find out who she was. Over the course of the next few days I found out her name was Mia and we became friends and things were going great until I found out she had a boyfriend back home, lets name him Dan.

 

Which sucked for me because I liked her, A LOT. I slowly found out more and more about her and her boyfriend. She came from a more difficult background, money wise, and he came from an even worse one, but no matter what he was there for her. If one of Mia's brothers needed to be picked up from somewhere and she couldn't get him then Dan would be there to pick up the pieces. So they have routes that go deep. I'm a super nice guy and I have morals so I will never cross those lines for a great many of reasons, one being that I respect the relationship and I would hate myself if I was that home wrecker.

 

But where my problems come in is with other guys. They don't seem to care that she has Dan and they still go up and flirt with her, then when we go out and people get a little bit "loose" if you will she gets super flirty so it's hard to tell what it is that is really going on. Then for the next week or so these guys stick around and they flirt and she flirts back once in a while. Now I have been in her room before doing work and it's been just her and me and I have heard her facetime Dan. First let me say that Dan is a great guy. Anyways I have been in there when she's sad about something and calls him upset and I can tell that she really does love him.

 

So there are a few more things that lead into my problem, she has said things to me that clearly mean more than is just what is being said, but these things are special to me she doesn't say them about anyone else. I have these feeling for Mia that I have never had before not even with my girlfriend of five years and I've only known her for 10 weeks. These feelings are 100% genuine and I don't know what to do about it, I respect the fact that she has Dan and I will never cross over that line because I don't want to be that home wrecker, but at the same time these other guys don't seem to have that same mentality and I don't know what to do.

 

As bad as this is going to sound I don't want to fall behind because I'm being that nice guy, a good person, and respecting what Mia has with Dan, and you have these other guys that don't care but are still making "progress" if you will. I just really don't know what to do, I'm lost because I really have strong feeling for this girl and I don't want to miss out on someone like this. I don't want to look back at this moment and say that was the one that got away, I want to be able to tell this as a story of how we met.

 

Anyways sorry for the essay I really just needed to get something written down to help get some of this off my chest. I thank anyone who has any sort of feed back even if it's not the kind that I necessarily want the hear.

Edited October 30, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[coolheadal]

Brady can we have the short version of this.. It's hard to read...

[rickwman]

I understand your situation. When I was in college, there was a girl that had a boyfriend. I immediately really liked her. Over time, she broke up with this other guy because I was a nicer, more giving guy than her current boyfriend. Don't change the way you are. Stay nice, dependable, friendly, respectful. If other guys you hang around aren't that way, find more like-minded friends. It's not good for you if Mia is giving mixed messages; flirting with others while Dan is away. Maybe she's ready for a new relationship; maybe not. I'd be honest with her about how you feel. Hopefully she'll be honest about you and her relationship with Dan. If you can't just be friends and want something more, and Dan is going to be in her future, there's other girls at school that you'll come across that are like-minded. I believe that honesty and understanding expectations are very important in a relationship. I'll stand with you and pray that you will remain true to yourself and you and Mia can have an honest conversation.

[butterfly5545]

I understand your situation. When I was in college, there was a girl that had a boyfriend. I immediately really liked her. Over time, she broke up with this other guy because I was a nicer, more giving guy than her current boyfriend. Don't change the way you are. Stay nice, dependable, friendly, respectful. If other guys you hang around aren't that way, find more like-minded friends. It's not good for you if Mia is giving mixed messages; flirting with others while Dan is away. Maybe she's ready for a new relationship; maybe not. I'd be honest with her about how you feel. Hopefully she'll be honest about you and her relationship with Dan. If you can't just be friends and want something more, and Dan is going to be in her future, there's other girls at school that you'll come across that are like-minded. I believe that honesty and understanding expectations are very important in a relationship. I'll stand with you and pray that you will remain true to yourself and you and Mia can have an honest conversation.

I agree,it is always so important to be honest,I would say to tell her how you feel about her and if she doesn't feel the same way about you then at least you know that you tried and you know that you have a friend in her.

[Brady_135]

I agree,it is always so important to be honest,I would say to tell her how you feel about her and if she doesn't feel the same way about you then at least you know that you tried and you know that you have a friend in her.

 

First I would like to say thank you guys for everything it was nice to just get things out and not have to have it all kept inside, even if it was to a bunch of people on the Internet. My only worry is that if I come out and tell her how I feel and if she doesn’t feel the same way then I would lose an amazing friend.