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For those who are married or in a long term committed relationship

wmacbride

By wmacbride,
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wmacbride

wmacbride

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My husband and I have been married for 20 years now, and a few weeks ago, we had our first " kid free" weekend away. It was really nice, and we got to spend a lot of time together.

 

It was really great to be able to reconnect like that again. Sometime, we get so bogged down in the day to day stuff of life, and we both enjoyed being able to put that aside if only for a couple of days.

 

If you have been married or in a long term, committed relationship, what are some of the ways you reconnect with one another?

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Michelle ma Belle

Michelle ma Belle

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I am more and more convinced that it's the little things like this that make or break a LT relationship.

 

Too many couples get complacent the longer they are together. They forget how important it is to make time for one another. Just because you're married or been in a long term relationship doesn't mean you have to forget about dating one another. In the grand scheme of things, is it really that hard to set aside quality time for one another once a week or even month?

 

I don't think so.

 

At least not if you truly love and value your partner and your relationship.

 

It's often the little things that make all the difference.

 

Kudos to you and your partner for taking that time out together to reconnect. Hopefully you will continue to do more of the same on a regular basis and not wait another 20 years.

 

:)

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GunslingerRoland

GunslingerRoland

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My husband and I have been married for 20 years now, and a few weeks ago, we had our first " kid free" weekend away. It was really nice, and we got to spend a lot of time together.

 

I just want to say I'm really happy for you that you guys got to do that! I'm sure most won't get what a special moment that is for something that other parents take for granted, but parents of special needs kids don't get.

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Els

Els

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On most nights where he isn't rostered to work late, we have dinner together, and then spend 1-2 hours together chilling out together (video games, board games, TV, etc). Cuddles, sometimes sex. We'll usually go out for a few dates together on weekends, either exploring a new part of the city or going to our favourite places again. Nice dinner dates occasionally, brunches at cafes. Long walks. Every couple of months we'll go away somewhere nearby for the weekend. We try new things together in the bedroom every now and then.

 

I completely agree that maintaining the connection is extremely, extremely important. I do find it a lot easier for us because we don't have kids. It must be much more difficult for parents.

 

Glad you and your H got a bit of time away! :)

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RecentChange

RecentChange

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The Mr. and I just marked 16 years.

 

I have to say, we have had periods where we weren't "watering the garden" as you could say.

 

But these days? The last few years especially, we make tons of time for each other, do a lot of "dating" type activities.

 

We go out for dinner and drinks at least once a week.

 

He will often plan mini weekend get aways. We will head out for two nights, have fun staying at a hotel and exploring a new town.

 

He'll come up to the "The City" and meet me after work to go out.

 

This last week - maybe because its our anniversary, has been especially nice. Sunday it was the two of us lazing around (and having sex all day).

 

Yesterday he said "I can't wait till Saturday" - I said why? He said because I get to spend it all day with you (I think another sexathon may be planned, count me in :love: )

 

Other cute thing mentioned recently "I feel like I am discovering you all over again".

 

Long term things.... there will be ups and downs. Changes and growth. But when you can make it work, when you can feel just as smitten as when you first met - boy its a special feeling.

 

Now - we don't have kids, so its much easier for us to focus on each other, but life can still get in the way. As the years have gone on we have discovered how important it is to reconnect.

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wmacbride

wmacbride

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I am more and more convinced that it's the little things like this that make or break a LT relationship.

 

Too many couples get complacent the longer they are together. They forget how important it is to make time for one another. Just because you're married or been in a long term relationship doesn't mean you have to forget about dating one another. In the grand scheme of things, is it really that hard to set aside quality time for one another once a week or even month?

 

I don't think so.

 

At least not if you truly love and value your partner and your relationship.

 

It's often the little things that make all the difference.

 

Kudos to you and your partner for taking that time out together to reconnect. Hopefully you will continue to do more of the same on a regular basis and not wait another 20 years.

 

:)

 

The thing for us that tends to make it hard to get away is that all of our kids have medical or developmental issues, and it can be hard for them to all be in a place where we can get away. For a long time, "date night" for us involved buying or making a fancy meal, turning down the lights an eating by candlelight at our kitchen table.:laugh:

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wmacbride

wmacbride

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I just want to say I'm really happy for you that you guys got to do that! I'm sure most won't get what a special moment that is for something that other parents take for granted, but parents of special needs kids don't get.

 

It is hard when you kids have issues. We were lucky that all the stars aligned for us, and my dad now lives close enough that he can get here if they call him and we are away.

 

We had lots of reasons to celebrate. Our two daughters were both accepted at the universities they chose ( and our younger daughter got an entrance scholarship that will pay for about three quarters of her tuition...she's a smart kid) and our son is also doing well.

 

When I think about it, there are lots of reason for couples to celebrate. I they can't find one, invent one.

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PegNosePete

PegNosePete

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How do I reconnect?

 

Don't get disconnected in the first place.

 

As Michelle said, don't get complacent and don't stop putting in the effort. The best way to solve problems is to not have them in the first place :D

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Michelle ma Belle

Michelle ma Belle

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The thing for us that tends to make it hard to get away is that all of our kids have medical or developmental issues, and it can be hard for them to all be in a place where we can get away. For a long time, "date night" for us involved buying or making a fancy meal, turning down the lights an eating by candlelight at our kitchen table.:laugh:

 

Brilliant! Follow that up with some slow dancing in the kitchen in your socks and I would chalk that up to a perfect date :D

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