Author The0neyoul0ved Posted November 6, 2017 Author Share Posted November 6, 2017 No offense but why keep trying to get him, esp if he cheated, and even moreso esp if he doesn't want you? Whyyyy??? The cheating alone would be enough to tip me over the deep end. I would probably go ballistic, revenge cheat, then dump his ass. Why wait around long enough for him to dump you for HER? Or if he surprised you out of the blue with a "I'm cheating and now I'm leaving you for this girl, surprise"--then I understand you wouldn't have time to react or take the upper hand, but why even entertain the thought of taking him back? Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Another thing: Have you been loyal to him this whole time, or were you out cheating and/or dating other people during the separation too? Curious. Because something tells me you were good to him this whole time when he wasn't any of those things to you. Never a good situation. No. Did not cheat. Have had no interest in anyone else and didn’t see anyone during the separation 1 Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted November 6, 2017 Share Posted November 6, 2017 I haven't posted here in a while. You may not want to hear from me because I was OW. My h had not been happy in many years and his ex never knew. She was blind sided when she found out. He left and never went back. We have been married for Some years and are happy. The reason I tell you this is that sometimes it happens and you must take care of you. He isn't going to. There will come a time when you will find someone new but you have to mentally let him go first. Be open to it, but shut him out for your own sanity. I wish you peace. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
merrmeade Posted November 6, 2017 Share Posted November 6, 2017 I haven't posted here in a while. You may not want to hear from me because I was OW. My h had not been happy in many years and his ex never knew. She was blind sided when she found out. He left and never went back. We have been married for Some years and are happy. The reason I tell you this is that sometimes it happens and you must take care of you. He isn't going to. There will come a time when you will find someone new but you have to mentally let him go first. Be open to it, but shut him out for your own sanity. I wish you peace. The0neyoul0ved, I think that if you are reminding a former OW of the BW that her husband left without looking back then it's time to move on. She's clearly doing it out of compassion now, maybe a little guilt ( or a lot), but either way I think it's a good call, too. Sorry. It really sucks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Hi Theone, as has been said many times over on this forum, if you really love someone set them free. If they were meant to be with you they will come back to you. If not then they were never meant to be with you. Consult a lawyer and find out your rights and then file for divorce and have your husband served. If he is really in love with you that action will jolt him back to reality and he will be at your door begging you to take him back. You can always call a halt to the divorce when you want and if you want. However, by taking a hard line you will show your husband that you are ready to move on with or or without him and it may just act as a wake up call for him. If it does not then you know that he was lost to you and you can move on with a clear conscience knowing that you did your best to save the marriage. It needs two hands to clap and if he is not willing to stand up and be counted there is very little you can do about it. Just think for yourself. Warm wishes. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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