ZA Dater Posted November 5, 2017 Share Posted November 5, 2017 Dating isn't the cover all solution, yes those of us who battle still want it but you can be happy, life is more than about meeting dates, its more than about chasing people. Its more than rejection. I see people who are in relationships, that doesn't make some happy, being with someone isn't going to be the magic that suddenly makes your life happy. What will make your life better not letting things get you down, see them for that they are, challenges. Friend wanted me to go out and meet some of his friends and the advice of some here was ringing in my head, I elected not to go, they aren't people I have anything in common with and I don't enjoy parties. Ordinarily I would have felt bad about not going, I cant say I did, I just recognise what I am not and didn't feel like being a misfit. Could I have met someone probably but I find the whole idea bothers me less and less because anyone who parties probably wont interest me anyway. At the moment I have more peace in life than I ever have, I spent years chasing that first kiss, the first moment and had this list of things but really how important are any of them. I have ticked some of them and they were amazing because the people sitting in front of me were amazing but finding those sort of people is becoming more and more difficult to the point where I am ok to just sit at home and work. What I have learnt is you can find fulfilment in many things, you can find contentment too. Equally searching can make you miserable and unhappy. Some part of me wishes I had done things differently but at the end of the day I can lament on that or I can simple embrace who I am and become the best version of that. I might never ever get what I truly want romantically but at least I can say for fleeting moments I have sometimes had exactly what I want. Search by all means and I do still but don't make it the be all and end all of life. There are many people here in pain, in places I have been in, I spent years feeling like that and it brought me no benefit. You cant change the past but you can change tomorrow. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted November 5, 2017 Share Posted November 5, 2017 (edited) Happy to hear that Edited November 6, 2017 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
HarmonyDriven Posted November 12, 2017 Share Posted November 12, 2017 Happiness is an inside job. Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted November 12, 2017 Share Posted November 12, 2017 All of us should have a inner criteria to date. Not just go up to random strangers. For me. The woman has to be single of course and I need to know that before asking her out. She also has to brighten up energy wise, when I interact with her. The more warm and sweet to me she is. The more I would want to ask her out. Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 We all have to love life and what its given us. We can't be the same. Link to post Share on other sites
guy45 Posted November 18, 2017 Share Posted November 18, 2017 I get just as excited and happy going out with my friends if not more. Link to post Share on other sites
kazen Posted November 18, 2017 Share Posted November 18, 2017 “If you want to lead a happy life –tie it to a goal. Not to people or things ” – Albert Einstein Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 18, 2017 Share Posted November 18, 2017 The problem with this line of thinking, is that at 43, 53, 63, 73, 83.... you will go "What the hell was I thinking?" "I was 33, young and vibrant and I just gave up?????" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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