I need to be more supportive to my husband, Please help

[leila51]

My husband is good man, he has a big heart. He supports me in any way he can. But I have a huge problem with his family and extended family. Some part of the family lives in the Europe, the other part lives in North America. This family just keep calling each other like CRAZY. They think each and every resource that they have (time and money) should go to the family.

 

My husband is not like the rest of family, but I keep telling him that he is not emotionally independent person. Last week his extended family came to visit but I was not happy, my husband tell me that I am not supporting him. He says I do not try to understand his family situation. SOMETIMES I THINK THEIR VALUES ARE WRONG, THEY ARE PUSHING AND IMPOSING THEMSELVES ON OTHERS WHICH IS NOT GOOD. I need to ignore these feeling and be supportive to my husband, please help……….

 

The main point is that these things are not effecting my life as much but I made them a big deal for myself and let my family suffer from.

[Moose]

While it is good, and very important to support your husband, I think it's wise to remind him that he chose to marry you and leave his family.

 

His efforts, time and money should be exclusive to his immediate family meaning you and your children if you have any.

 

At the same time, I do feel that if he has the means to help out, and support his immediate family, then he should and that's where you need to support him.

 

If it hurts you guys to help out, then he has no business doing so.

[New_Wife]

This is one of those sticky situations that I think counseling would really help. Cultural differences, family traditions, etc. can be so deeply ingrained that they feel as natural as breathing - for both of you. Making new ones, or melding the types, can be tough. But the love is there, and the desire to work together seems to be there. A neutral counselor might help you two find a more comfortable middle ground.